A Flagging Concern

cougflagThis is stupid. Everyone is getting worked up over a goddamn flag. And not some flag that speaks to a powerful political agenda or anything like that. A stupid, stupid flag that bears the logo of Washington State University.

Now don’t get me wrong. I get why people are a little testy over this flag. Fact is, Cougars and Huskies are conditioned to despise each other. We’re rivals. It’s alleged that we don’t get along. And so it’s understandable why Husky fans, like myself, would bristle at the thought of Cougar fans raising their big, ugly flag on the Washington campus come Saturday morning, flying it in honor of a tradition (a tradition that’s been made fun of, mind you) that’s lasted a decade on the set of ESPN Gameday.

I’ll admit I’ve gone back and forth on this issue. At first I thought it’d be humorous to needle the Cougs a bit, stir up some shit and make them lose a little sleep while they pondered how, exactly, they’d get that flag safely onto campus later this week. But then I saw the unadulterated hate that flowed from the keyboards of Husky fans over this flag, fans who were prepared to all but kill people over menial garbage. Likewise, a good number of these very same, very angry Husky fans have gone and wished ill will unto other Husky fans because those Husky fans, you see, aren’t prepared to throw down in fisticuffs over, again, a flag.

Of course, this shitshow of human degeneration is a two-way street. There are Cougar fans out there ready to exchange blows with Huskies over a flag, too. And likewise Cougar fans upset with other Cougar fans who aren’t ready to defend an aesthetically-unpleasing (my opinion) piece of nylon at all costs. Are you prepared to sacrifice for this flag? Are you prepared to give up everything – your family, your home, your career, your life – for this flag? How far are you willing to go to prove your allegiance to your school? You can’t be a real fan unless you are ready to die – TO DIE! – for your team.

How stupid does all this sound? I feel stupid writing it. We are all dumber for having to address this. There are rivalries and then there are dipshit assholes who want to go outside and commit assault – which is a crime, keep in mind – for something they think they believe in. This is mind-numbingly ridiculous.

On top of all that, the guys responsible for waving that Cougar flag claim that this is their life’s “destiny.” Really? Your destiny? Most people cite love or family or making the world a better place their destiny. If waving a flag each week for a quarter of the year is really your destiny, well, I’d ask you to reevaluate your lives. This is the ultimate First-World Problem you face each Saturday, ensuring a flag gets raised, carrying out such a glorifying task, but destiny? Really? Okay, George McFly. Whatever.

Anyway, these guys need this. So bad. (You can see how seriously they take this over on their Facebook page.) If that flag doesn’t go up each week, god knows what happens to these two dudes. Hearts stop, tears are shed, destinies unfulfilled. They’re willing to risk their personal well-being (which is some combination of noble and stupid) to get this flag up. So be it. I urge you not to be as noble-stupid in risking your own well-being to prevent that flag from seeing the light of day.

It’s not worth it, people. It’s a flag. And if you get your ass arrested trying to stop some tradition, no one is going to remember you for it. They just won’t. And outside the little bubble that is this Washington-Washington State rivalry, you’ll be vilified, if anything. You’ll get the Deadspin treatment, you’ll be portrayed as an angry, drunken crazy person, and you’ll turn the Huskies – yes, the Huskies – into the bad guy. Think it through. Try to put all this into a greater perspective. This really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does. Saturday should be about Husky Football; about a game we’re playing against our other hated rival, the Oregon Ducks; and about celebrating all that in front of a national audience that wants to see what the University of Washington has to offer.

Finally, if you’re looking for a way to express your displeasure over the Cougar flag being anywhere near the Washington campus, I urge you to draw up a purple-and-gold sign that reads “GOD HATES FLAGS” with a big WSU logo between the word “HATES” and the word “FLAGS.” I think that’s pretty fucking clever and I realize you might not agree, but I don’t really care. I keep myself entertained all day long with moronic thoughts like these and that’s what really matters. Screw you if you don’t like it.

Stupid flag.

10 thoughts on “A Flagging Concern”

  1. If you’r not going to let the flag wave then we will remember that this November and stomp the holy crap out of your team (for the second Straight year) during the Apple Cup, which would be just fine for your coach because you, me and the wall all know that he wants to be at USC.

  2. I agree, this is dumb. The flag is going to fly, regardless of what anyone says they will do to stop it – Gameday always makes accommodations for the Wazzu Flags. Is it a dumb tradition? Perhaps. But it’s going to happen. Any UW fan trying to physically stop it is going to look like a jackass on national TV, and then preserved immortally on the internet (see, e.g. Popcorn Guy).

    Huskies should really be focused on hating Oregon fans anyways. They’re the real enemy here.

    Sidenote: Alex, if you want to encourage UW fans to make signs that will draw parallels between Husky fans and members of Westboro Baptist Church, and to display them on national TV, you have my full support.

  3. Quite a bit of effort you just put in for something that means so little to you. Unfortunately the reality sets in that by Sunday UW will be unranked and staring up at the Cougs in the PAC 12 standings, Oregon will have spanked UW for the tenth straight year, and the Coug flag will be about the only thing anyone will remember about Gameday being in Seattle.

  4. Good article. Just make a sign that says something along this line “anyone Ho waves a wsu flag got rejected by uw #uwrejects.com” then the entire nation will know the great troll move from us

  5. Just a reminder that WSU has a better fight song. Also a better radio announcer and a better stadium announcer. With Coach Leach at the helm, we may soon have a better football team!

  6. Valid blog. But, If you actually read that article you embedded in your blog about the Cougs who wave the flags every College football Saturday you would know that the actual people who waved the flags never really used the term “it is our destiny.” It was merely the writer of the article who did so. I would not take it so literal, taking the flag to college game day is just one of many traditions alumni express their love for the school. Also, on a side note, just as you joked about posters with “god hates flags” written on them, I think it is more than likely a exaggerated way destiny was used.

  7. Shay: “anyone Ho waves a wsu flag got rejected by uw #uwrejects.com”

    Bravo. You proved just how stupid you are with that half-hearted attempt at spelling, grammar, hashtagging, and general use of the English language….

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