Ain’t Nothin’ But A Heartache: An Ode to the 2011 Seattle Mariners

Don’t pretend you’re sorry. I know you’re not.

You are my fire. Everything I do is for you. But sometimes I feel like I’m swimming in an ocean all alone.

I just want you to know that I’ve been fighting to let you go. There’s something missing in my heart. Is this the feeling I need to walk with? Keeping it inside, it’s killing me. Sadness is beautiful, they say. But I don’t wanna waste another day.

There’s nowhere to run. I have no place to go. Some days I make it through, but then there’s nights that never end. I never thought I would lose my mind. I tried to go on like I never knew you. I’ve tried to hide it so that no one knows. But I guess it shows.

Thirty-four years gone, nothing’s been won. You can’t hide it with a lie. We’ve been waiting so long. Tell me why. What about your, your 10,000 promises? Believe Big? Refuse to lose? What’s the use in you denying that what you have is wrong?

Destiny is everything. But we are two worlds apart.

You still wonder if we made a big mistake. Chone Figgins? We need more than that. I would bring down the moon and the sun to show you how much I care about movin’ on. Send him to Siberia. I never wanna hear you say he’s never gone. Don’t let him come crawling back to you. Ain’t nothing but a mistake.

Just when I think we’re through, memories come flooding back.

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time, impossible as it may seem. To 1995. Or even 2001. Those days are gone, though. Memories. What’s the use in holding on?

I know I’m not the perfect fan. Am I original? Yeaaaaaaaah. But I don’t have Spanish eyes. I’m no beautiful woman, no poster girl. I’m not the one. I’m like a child. Boys will be boys.

Look. It’s not that I can’t live without you. It’s just that I don’t even want to try. I know that we have been through so much pain, but I need you in my life this time. You need me like I need you. We can share our dreams coming true.

So quit playin’ games with my heart. This is all I have to give. My battery is low, just so you know.

A championship? You’re gonna work it out someday. I know we can win this. But please, don’t leave me hangin’ here forever. For now, I’m incomplete.

*Special thanks to The Backstreet Boys for writing 99% of this article.

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