Average Guys Won’t Put You On That Hot Track, and Other Things We’ve Learned From Venoygate

According to police reports, former University of Washington basketball player Venoy Overton is a pimp. An alleged pimp, I should say. I mean, we already knew he was a pimp in the figurative sense long ago. But now he’s allegedly a real pimp. That would be allegedly hilarious if it wasn’t so allegedly unfortunate. Chances are, however, you’ve already found the hilarity in the situation and made a few jokes behind closed doors. It is what it is. Don’t feel bad about it.

We can all admit that Venoy has f**ked up pretty badly. Whether you’re a Husky fan or not is irrelevant. Getting caught pimping hos is never a good thing. This is just a reality of the world we live in.

On top of that, sympathy for the ex-Dawg has all but run out. No one gives a sh*t about Venoy Overton anymore, and that’s too bad. Not because I’m advocating compassion for the guy. But because it’s pretty damn sad that people will remember him as a bad individual.

Just think about that for a minute. If everyone in the public spectrum thought of you as a bad individual, how horrible would you feel?

Every time you went out you’d endure weird looks and the occasional, “Hey! I know you…you suck.” That would be epically painful. There’s really no way around it. Your life would be a tragic crevasse of despair. And that absolutely blows.

So yeah, I think it’s safe to say we can all feel bad for Venoy. He did a stupid, stupid thing, both highly illegal and highly immoral. You never want to see someone you know of make a mistake like this.

At the same time, there is likely a varying degree of concern for Venoy’s alleged girlfriend-turned-ho. I get that. I think we all do. You can’t help but feel bad for an 18-year-old girl that’s allegedly been taken advantage of. She claims to have loved the point guard and, out of love, started having sex with other men because he told her to.

Wait…what?

This is where my sympathy for the young woman dramatically abbreviates itself.

Look, I do understand that people do stupid things because of love, lust, romance, whatever you want to call it. But having sex with random dudes for money? Shouldn’t your Jiminy Cricket chime in at some point and warn you to “let your conscience be your guide”? I mean, come on. I feel bad that your relationship came to this weird crossroads, but you had to know what you were doing.

When news of this story first broke, a friend mentioned to me that prostitution is basically a victimless crime. Barring someone being forced into the situation against their will (and she allegedly wasn’t), he’s right. The pimp shouldn’t be pimping, the ho shouldn’t be selling her body, and the consumer shouldn’t be buying the ho. Everyone’s at fault, hence no one can really cry foul.

So who do we blame?

I guess it starts with Venoy (allegedly), but it certainly doesn’t end there.

Go ahead and blame Venoy for allegedly taking advantage of another human being and for being a real prick about it along the way. If you wanna talk to me you gotta give me money? I’ll make up for this ten-fold when I get to the league? Who the f**k do you think you are, dude? I don’t care about your status or about how important you think you may be. Spitting that garbage should land you in prison just for being a douchebag.

But at the same time you’re ripping Venoy, don’t hold back on the girl. If nothing else, you can blame her for chasing a jersey and failing to empower herself to make good decisions.

Look here, girl. You can do anything in the world. You have unlimited potential. If you’re selling yourself because your supposed boyfriend is telling you to, you need to get a f**king mentor and go see a shrink. You’re better than that. This is your life and you’re destroying it. I guarantee you his dick ain’t worth it. Not only is he not ejaculating gold, he’s not going to make up ten-fold for this, and he’s not going to the league. You could have watched just one game this year and seen evidence of that. He’s lying to you. He’s using you. You are a pawn and you should have seen it from day one when he told you you needed to pay him to speak with him. That’s not love. That’s not lust. That’s you being dumb. Sorry for the bad news.

I’ll tell you what, though. If you’re an average guy like me, there is one positive to take away from this whole situation. Those hot college girls you’re into? They should be a little more wary of chasing athletes after this whole saga comes to a close. You chase a jersey, you might end up walking a hot track in Kent.

So here are the morals of our story:

1. You can do anything with your life, so try not to do stupid sh*t.

2. Love doesn’t require you to pay an entry fee, stupid.

3. Don’t pimp hos.

4. Don’t be a ho.

5. Chasing jerseys could turn you into a ho.

6. Average guys are better.

And we all move on with knowledge.

Now get on that hot track. Look cute doing it, too.

3 thoughts on “Average Guys Won’t Put You On That Hot Track, and Other Things We’ve Learned From Venoygate”

  1. Well said. He’s a dbag. Too bad this will be his legacy. As a Coug I kind of admired his tough D on the court. And hated him at the same time. You never wish bad things to people, even the enemy. I won’t so that. Hope he figures his life out and stop being the stereotypical african American from the hood. He’s making seattle, his race, and you huskies look bad.

  2. Hahahahaha dude I actually laughed my ass off when I read this. I knew everything about Venoy, but your presentation is flawless. Love your writing man!

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