Don’t Worry, Mariner Fans: Jim Hendry Has Your Back

“Obviously we’re dealing with a man at this stage of his career who’s not willing to face the facts. What he’s done for the last few years in his career, except for a two-month period, is way below major league standards. And he seems to have the continual problem [of] blaming everybody but himself.” –Chicago Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry, on former Mariners pitcher Carlos Silva.

In an unfortunate turn of events, the Chicago Cubs released Carlos Silva on Sunday, losing their battle of “Who Can Hang Onto Their Troublemaker Longer” chicken with the Mariners. You may recall that the M’s acquired left fielder Milton Bradley from the Cubs just one season ago in exchange for the portly Silva; the swap was largely heralded as a trade of one problem for the other. While Bradley remains in the Mariners’ 2011 plans, Silva is currently unemployed and probably more concerned about how he’ll afford his next meal.

Silva spent most of Spring Training complaining about his employer. When he found out on Saturday that he wouldn’t be a part of the team’s 25-man roster out of camp, he went all angry, chubby diva on the world and let his ballclub have it. Less than 24 hours later, the team cut bait with their whale of a side ache.

Which leads us to Jim Hendry, general manager of the Cubs and currently my favorite human being on earth. How many Mariners fans have wanted to hear someone say that about Silva since Bill Bavasi made the enormous mistake of signing the obese right-hander prior to the 2008 season? In a word, that is AWESOME! Yes! Finally! Somebody said it. And hopefully this blackballs Silva’s ass right out of baseball. This man will skyrocket your team meal costs and sulk around your clubhouse like a grumpy, amorphous blob. It’s about time we were all up front about that. Thank you, Jim Hendry.

Oh, and in case you have any inkling at all to feel bad for Silva, don’t. The man will still take home all $11.5 million in salary this year. Just for doing nothing. F**k that guy.

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