The 2011 Pac-10 All-Lorenzo Mata Team

Given annually in honor of the most unfortunate-looking creature to ever don a Pac-10 college basketball jersey.

Because a friend suggested I write this. And I’m loyal to my friends.


G – Jorge Gutierrez, University of California

If he just cut his hair, he’d probably be an Efren Ramirez lookalike. That might almost be enough to get him off this list.

G – Allen Crabbe, University of California

Like a cross between a Goomba and Mahmoud Ahmedinejad.

F – Brock Motum, Washington State University

Yes, he looks like Voldemort.

F – Reeves Nelson, UCLA

The caveat here is that Nelson is only sort of human, so he doesn’t entirely count.

C – Kyryl Natyazhko, Arizona

The floppy, goofy hair only serves to distract you from the floppy, goofy face.


G – Malcolm Armstead, Oregon

Well, you know, on the bright side, he’s not hideous hideous.

G – Faisal Aden, Washington State

The five-head and the ill-advised ‘fro do him no favors.

F – Derrick Williams, Arizona

I’ve heard him compared to Shrek, as well as a yak. He’s a Shrak.

F – Markhuri Sanders-Frison, California


C – Ruslan Pateev, Arizona State

If you do a Google safe search for “Ruslan Pateev,” a number of naked dudes with their junk exposed come up. You can legitimately associate Pateev with cock-shots.

4 thoughts on “The 2011 Pac-10 All-Lorenzo Mata Team”

  1. Yes!!!! Lorenzo mata is my favorite non husky of all time simply because of how hideous he was. I hope this will become a regular post.

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