Dawg Pack Dirt: USC

Dawg Pack Dirt: USC

Volume 7, Issue 15, March 4, 2011

Special to Seattle Sportsnet

Written by dedicated Dawg Pack members

The game:

-USC Trojans (17-13) @ Washington Huskies (20-9).

-Alaska Airlines Arena at Hec Edmundson Pavilion, Seattle, Wash.

-Saturday, March 4, 2011, 7:30 p.m. PST.

The foreword:

It’s Senior Night, Dawgs! Lets send our seniors off in style! Make Hec Ed crazy and memorable for the final home games of Justin Holiday, Matthew Bryan-Amaning, and Venoy Overton. Thanks to everyone who made this season special, and thanks to all our loyal readers over the years. See you next season for Volume 8 of the Dirt! And big thanks to the seniors!

The team:

-University of Southern California, Los Angeles, Calif.

-USC is 9-8 in conference play.

-The Trojans were riding high on a four-game winning streak — which included a 65-57 victory over Arizona — until…

-…they lost to WSU on Thursday by a score of 85-77.

-USC is currently tied for fourth-place in the Pac-10 conference.

The players:

#1 F (RS Sr.) Alex Stepheson

-Alex played two years at North Carolina, but decided to transfer to USC after family health problems.

-Says his greatest achievement outside of sports was winning his sixth grade spelling bee. We should quiz him!

-Spelling may be his thing, but statistics is not. Looks like he needs some help with this subject.

#2 G (Jr.) Jio Fontan

-Looks like someone’s tax return came back:

*Editor’s note: Someone please forward this picture to the NCAA. Thanks.

#3 G (RS Jr.) James Dunleavy

-His Facebook friends give him shooting advice on his wall.

-James had tickets to Super Bowl XLV but couldn’t go to the game…because head coach Kevin O’Neill called for practice that day. James still sounds upset.

-James is the younger brother of former Duke product and current NBA Pacer Mike Dunleavy, Jr, ipso facto he is also the son of Mike Dunleavy, Sr., the former NBA head coach.

#4 G (RS Fr.) Tyler Sugiyama

-Nancy Pelosi elected Tyler as a Page for the House of Representatives a few summers back.

-Tyler has played in three games this season and hasn’t made a bucket yet.

*Editor’s note: But as a fellow half-Asian, I imagine that Tyler’s value is to raise the GPA of the entire team. Keep it up, Ty.

#5 F (Jr.) Nikola Vucevic

-USC’s best player, averaging a double-double per game.

-After losing to Arizona earlier in the season, Nikola said, “I felt like we played like women. We didn’t play hard at all. Every single one of us just played like women.”

-He later apologized and blamed the comment on the language barrier. In his apology, he stated that “Back home, when we say that, it means we didn’t play hard”… still sexist.

-His nickname is “the V-Factor,” or just “the Factor.”

*Editor’s note: V-Factor…women…there are so many directions this could go.

-There is a fan page for The V-Factor, with a shocking amount of Russian porn on it.

*Editor’s note: No such thing as a “shocking amount” of Russian porn.

#10 G (Fr.) Maurice Jones

-Mo’s best friend Bryce Jones quit the team the end of January because he wasn’t happy with his playing time and Mo “really misses his chemistry”…… We’re still talking about basketball, right?

*Editor’s note: If he went to Canada and arranged a gay marriage with Maurice Jones-Drew, then opted to hyphenate his surname, he’s be Maurice Jones-Jones-Drew, husband to Maurice Jones-Drew.

#14 G (RS Sr.) Donte Smith

-Is dating a girl named Brandie, who commented on his wall Monday saying “Hey Fat boy u ate my candy”…. Awww, love.

*Editor’s note: Yeah, fat boy.

– Looks like he’s about to pop the question because he’s been asking advice on Facebook on how to do it.

*Editor’s note: JumboTron.

#20 G (Jr.) Eric Strangis

-Denied our friend request three times…the fourth time he added us and then deleted us 15 minutes later.

-Has only 19 followers on Twitter and is desperately looking for more… help him out @EStrange20.

#21 F (Jr.) Aaron Fuller

-This guy HATES country music.

-His girlfriend’s name is Claire. Here they are last Halloween dressed up as Mr. and Mrs. Batman:

*Editor’s note: Batman was never married. Get it right, douche. P.S., how often do you think he makes his girl wear that outfit when they have intercourse?

#22 F (So.) Evan Smith

-Evan looks like your typical So-Cal Bro.

-His father played for USC’s rival, UCLA. Wonder what colors he sports?

-He was recently featured on a USC ticket stub. His friends say he looks weird in the photo…they’re right.

-He wrecked his white Ford truck…it looks like he hit a pole.

-Evan is currently in a relationship with Lolo.

-This is really all you need to know about Evan:

“Hi im a jerk. i just want to let you know. LOL.

i get slotted n slutty in the green room My name is Evan Smith. I’m in love with Lolo Tess is the s*** DJ Flash is my best friend…he saved everyone of us!”

(That is actually how he describes himself.)

#33 F (Fr.) Garrett Jackson

-He enjoys volunteering his time to the Special Olympics… good for him (no sarcasm).

-He says hi swag is phenomenal.

#35 G (So.) Daniel Munoz

-Was born on Christmas Eve, 1990.

-After almost two full years on the team, Daniel has yet to record a point, assist or rebound in five career minutes. Productive.

#42 F (Fr.) Curtis Washington

-Girlfriend: Ashley.

-His USC player bio says he is “working on being an offensive force.” And with muscles like this, you’d never guess he’d be averaging 0.0 points per game:

#43 G (Sr.) Marcus Simmons

-Marcus is known for his stellar defense. In other words, he has trouble scoring.

-Marcus was O.J. Mayo’s roommate in 2008. When asked about the Mayo NCAA violations, Marcus responded, “There was a TV, but no clothes or cash. I’ve never seen…clothes or cash.”

-Marcus almost transferred because L.A. life was “taking a toll” on him. He also claims to be “just a little country boy from a small town.” Don’t worry Marcus, we don’t really like L.A. either.


4 thoughts on “Dawg Pack Dirt: USC”

  1. Thank you to all of you who put this together. This is the greatest thing any fan base has ever done. I look forward to each and every one.

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