7:02 p.m. – Kick off the game with an Ernesto sighting. He’s wearing a green tie, but you know he’s secretly rooting for Venoy. Kevin Calabro on the play-by-play. Sweet.
7:04 p.m. – “I think he’s gonna score 12 points on 7-for-38 shooting.” –my friend Jameson on Klay Thompson’s performance tonight. Do the math…
7:08 p.m. – That “No Means No” sign is clever…
7:09 p.m. – DeAngelo Casto with the first bucket for Wazzu. You know he’s coming back for his senior year…
7:11 p.m. – Lots of energy from the Beasley Performing Arts Center crowd to start the game. This will all change when the Four Loko wears off.
7:14 p.m. – This is the sloppiest game I’ve ever seen. Like porn bloopers.
7:15 p.m. – “Both of them getting off a lot of energy right now.” –Ernie Kent on the state of the game at this point. He knows a thing or two about getting off.
7:17 p.m. – 8-5, Washington State with the early lead. Once we reach 10 points and the home crowd runs out of fingers for counting, confusion will set in and they won’t be as excited about the score.
7:20 p.m. – Boy. Faisal Aden is kuh-ind of ugly.
7:21 p.m. – Attention Cougar fans: Dunks are still only worth two points.
7:22 p.m. – Venoy sighting. No means yes.
7:23 p.m. – Scott Suggs channels The Professor with a three-step crossover.
7:25 p.m. – Alleged criminal guarding rumored criminal right now. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.
7:26 p.m. – FSN wants us to relive the greatest moments from the Mariners’ 2010 season on Mariners Mondays. Cute.
7:28 p.m. – Suggs drills a monster three to tie the game up at 17. All over yo’ face.
7:30 p.m. – As the Cougars can tell you, the secret to great success in basketball is finding as many white players to play as you possibly can.
7:33 p.m. – NMY. It’s a movement…
7:34 p.m. – How worthless are Golden Corral commercials in the Seattle area? Just like Sonic commercials…
7:36 p.m. – I think I saw Faisal Aden running one of the Diamond parking lots in Seattle last week…
7:38 p.m. – Dribble-drive offense, baby. Drive and kick. Lots of threes. Made popular by former Pepperdine head coach Vance Walberg. Google it. “And boom goes the dynamite” is called out by @TheMattHolt.
7:43 p.m. – I just saw The Human Victory Blunt in the team huddle. Put him in and we’re guaranteed a win.
7:44 p.m. – Awkward foul called on Brock Motum, rather than Klay Thompson. “Maybe it’s just ’cause he’s ugly,” says Holt. “He looks like Voldemort,” someone else shouts.
7:46 p.m. – Abe Lodwick and Brock Motum appear to have been conceived from the same test tube.
7:50 p.m. – Ernie’s pretty good on the call, I gotta say. He’s probably better in SAP, though.
7:51 p.m. – Motum is from Australia. That basketball powerhouse that is the Land Down Under.
7:54 p.m. – It appears that Casto goes to the same barber that Kyle Weaver went to all four years he was in Pullman.
7:57 p.m. – Do you know what I would do to see MBA turn and power move on his defender instead of always — ALWAYS — resorting to the baby hook? Dirty, dirty things.
7:58 p.m. – Casto picks up his third — yes, third — foul with no time remaining in the first half. Couldn’t script that any better if you’re a Husky fan.
8:00 p.m. – Isaiah Thomas knocks down both free throws. 45-43, Cougars lead at the half. Now it’s time to go to the bathroom. And grab another beer. Socialize while I’m away.
8:09 p.m. – Holy hell. Darnell Gant is our leading scorer at the half. Nine points. Never thought I’d see the day.
8:10 p.m. – FSN must strike a hard bargain with their advertising fees if Aladdin Bail Bonds is getting airtime.
8:14 p.m. – Nice trailer for Taken 2 with Liam Neeson. I mean, Unknown. No wait. It’s definitely Taken 2.
8:17 p.m. – Faisal Aden charging his teammates for seats on the bench. Five dollars per spot.
8:18 p.m. – I haven’t seen a charge taken that well since Ivan on the final play of the movie Eddie. Well done, Suggs.
8:19 p.m. – IT with the play of the year. Steals the ball on a breakaway, controls himself long enough to save the ball and stay in bounds, then draws a blocking foul on Casto, his fourth. Unbelievable.
8:22 p.m. – Cougs in foul trouble because they’re perennial cheaters.
8:24 p.m. – Props to the Cougs. That lob to Reggie shoulda been worth five points.
8:25 p.m. – Has anyone ever seen Motel 6’s Tom Bodett? Anyone? Is he real?
8:30 p.m. – If you listened to this week’s episode of Karate Emergency, you would have heard me discuss my fear over the Huskies facing the Cougs’ 2-3 zone. We’re historically bad against the zone.
8:33 p.m. – Isaiah…you’re going one-on-three with no numbers and no one to pass to. You just got lucky. You were bailed out on the block call. Let’s play with some control, Dawgs. Come on.
8:35 p.m. – You can always tell when Venoy gets in the game. Not because of the boos. Because Reggie poops his pants a little bit.
8:38 p.m. – The nice thing for all the male students at WSU is you don’t have to worry about basketball players stealing your girl. You know, unless they’re into the freaky sh*t, I guess. Like masks and whatnot.
8:40 p.m. – Dear Suggs: Please don’t take the more difficult long two when you could instead take the wide open three. Thanks.
8:41 p.m. – Please MBA, for the love of God…POWER MOVE! PLEASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE!!!!!
8:44 p.m. – Hey, did you hear the one about Faisal Aden? He got more head than Ron Jeremy.
8:45 p.m. – Klay picks up his fourth foul with 10:38 remaining. Knocks Justin Holiday down on a three-point attempt. Lodwick, Casto, Motum, and Thompson all have four fouls. Cougs up 63-58.
8:48 p.m. – Hitting a fall-down runner (glass) from 10 feet out while splitting the defense and getting fouled? That’s why I love Reggie Moore, ladies and gentlemen. Wish he was a Dawg.
8:53 p.m. – Reggie Moore. Jesus H. That dude is trying to single-handedly will the Cougs to victory. Cougs up 74-66 with 7:35 remaining.
8:55 p.m. – Pac-10 refs must own the record for “Most Jump Balls Called That Aren’t Really Jump Balls.”
8:57 p.m. – IT hits his first field goal — a three-pointer — with 6:09 remaining. He was 0-for-9 up to this point, 1-for-10 now. Cougs up 75-60.
9:00 p.m. – Mychal Thompson’s a little vain, don’t ya think? Every kid has a “Y” in his name: Klay, Mychel, Trayce. Come on, now.
9:01 p.m. – I mean, Jesus Chryst.
9:02 p.m. – IT feeling it. Made the last eight straight points for the Dawgs. 80-74, WSU. 4:30 remaining.
9:03 p.m. – Casto fouls out with 3:42 remaining. Left…right…left…right…sit down!
9:07 p.m. – Thankfully, the Cougs have Brock Motum to fill the void left by Casto’s departure.
9:08 p.m. – Faisal Aden is the new Taylor Rochestie. He hates the Huskies. Treating Dawgs worse than Mike Vick.
9:09 p.m. – Oh, God. Here we go. The inexplicable Gator chomp from the Beasley faithful.
9:10. p.m. – Cougs up 83-74 with 2:06 remaining. Dawgs are gonna need something amazing here. Put in Sherrer and test the “We always win when he plays” theory.
9:16 p.m. – Cougar fans have sufficiently discounted this victory by chanting “Overrated!” Huskies aren’t good enough to beat, apparently.
9:20 p.m. – Apparently, we still haven’t learned to combat the 2-3. I thought maybe with all our shooters and our heavy reliance on a modified dribble-drive offense, we’d kill it from beyond the arc and take this one home. Clearly, that wasn’t the case.
9:21 p.m. – 23.2 seconds remaining. Cougs up 86-77. Over-under on the Zzu Crew rushing the court at this point?
9:22 p.m. – 87-80, Cougars. Final. Zzu Crew rushing the court, living up to their standard of not knowing what the hell is going on.
9:25 p.m. – In closing, we need to learn to play in a hostile environment (I would argue that Beasley was the toughest road arena we’ve played in all year) and we need to find someone to handle the high post against the zone. Because it’s clearly not working at this point. Signing off for now. Please discuss.
10:39 p.m. – Here’s a collection of things that have crossed my mind in the hour-and-a-half since the game ended. I’ll list them out for you. Numerically. Because numbers make things easier:
1. I’m setting the over-under on “Number of Cougar fans that started chanting ‘Just Like Football’ after chanting ‘Overrated’ and prior to storming the court” at 36.5.
2. I’m taking the over.
3. It’s really tough to appreciate Isaiah Thomas and Matthew Bryan-Amaning after losses in which they perform badly, simply because of the larger-than-life personas they’ve created for themselves. It’s just the facts of the matter.
4. NMY. No Means Yes. Up is left. Down is blue.
5. The high socks the Dawgs were wearing were pretty fresh. Personally, I wear high socks whenever I play basketball and the ladies love it. I follow Usher’s life advice: Do it for the ladies.
6. No ladies have actually told me they love the high socks. I just imagine they would. If any of them came to our rec league games. Which is unlikely. Let’s be honest.
7. BREAKING NEWS: Word out of Pullman is that a 12-pack of Busch Light may have been opened at mid-court immediately following the Cougars’ victory over the Huskies. This prompted an involuntary reaction from the students in the Zzu Crew, which led to the swarming of Friel Court. More to come as we have it.
8. The Huskies were clearly rattled by the crowd today. Played out of control and looked rushed at times. There are few places in the Pac-10 that are tough to play at anymore. Beasley isn’t often one of those places, but when the Dawgs come to town they pick it up. They did enough to take this team out of it.
9. That said, in March, it won’t matter. No neutral crowd in a tournament setting could affect the Dawgs the way they were affected today.
10. The Huskies have done a decent enough job combating the 2-3 zone defense thus far with good outside shooting. Tonight, however, they weren’t able to make enough of those threes count and you saw the result. Knowing they would be facing WSU’s 2-3 all game long, they should have been better prepared with back door plays and a high post presence, but they simply were not. That’s inexcusable. Somebody on this team needs to learn how to pass out of the high post or else the Huskies will be seeing a heavy dose of zone the rest of the way.
11. UPDATE: Washington State Assistant Coach Jeff Hironaka is rumored to be the party responsible for opening the 12-pack of Busch Light. He allegedly shouted, “Let get crunk, mothaf**kas!” then took off his shirt and kissed a cheerleader. WSU students are hereby exonerated for their court storm.
12. Numbers 7 and 11 on this list may have been partially or entirely made up.
13. And just remember, Husky fans. Bishop Sankey feels the pain of this loss, too.