Dawg Pack Dirt: Oregon State

Dawg Pack Dirt: Oregon State University

Volume 7, Issue 10, January 8, 2011

Special to Seattle Sportsnet

Written by dedicated Dawg Pack members

The Game:

-Oregon State University Beavers (7-7 overall, 2-1 Pac-10) @ #23 University of Washington Huskies (11-3 overall, 3-0 Pac-10).

-Hec Edmundson Pavilion, Seattle, Wash.

-Saturday, January 8, 2011, 3:35 p.m. PST.

The Team:

-Oregon State University, Corvallis, Ore.

-Oregon State compiled a lackluster non-conference record of 5-6.

-Last week, however, they swept the Arizona schools to get off to a 2-0 start in conference play.

-They are coached by Craig Robinson, or as we like to call him, Mrs. Obama’s big brother.

-Robinson is 0-5 all time against UW.

-The last time the Beavers beat the Huskies at Hec Ed was back in 2003.

The Players:

#0 F (RS Jr.) Kevin McShane

-Chose OSU because “orange and black look good on me.” He better hope he’s never convicted for a serious crime…

*Editor’s note: The only person that orange and black looks good on is the hot OSU fan who told me to have at her chest at the Washington-Oregon State football game in October. But I reckon she looks even better when she’s not wearing orange and black.

-Kevin is a walk-on, and his dad Bill used to play for the Beavers.

#1 G (So.) Jared ‘Flight’ Cunningham

-If anyone saw the Arizona game, Jared was the one who “kissed the sky” on the tip dunk, which made Coach Robinson “race home to see if that made Top 10.”

*Editor’s note: I didn’t see it. I imagine that the dunk was still only worth two points, however. So it couldn’t have been that great.

-Flight is the Beaver’s leader in points, and also leads the Pac-10 in steals.

-He says he listens to Katy Perry on repeat before games…

#3 G (Fr.) Ahmad Starks

*Editor’s note: Ahmad Starks. Not as good as John Starks.

-We’re wondering whether the freshman didn’t know how to do his laundry, or if OSU only had youth sizes left. Poor kid.

#4 C (Fr.) Chris ‘Xclusive’ Brown

-We’re convinced Xclusive needs some kinda special Jordans for feet like these…

-Teammate Calvin Haynes thinks Xclusive “might need surgery and a splash of Jesus to fix that!”

*Editor’s note: I worked at Nordstrom selling women’s shoes for four years. I never saw a bunion like that. That thing is all kinds of disgusting. Jeebus. On a side note, this guy’s name is Chris Brown. So there’s that, too.

#11 F/C (So.) Joe “Sauce” Burton

-Joe Burton is a member of the Soboba band of Luiseno Indians and gets a lot of attention for it.

-He is also a Justin Bieber fan.

*Editor’s note: It’s amazing that a man that ugly can be in the mere presence of girls like that. I have to respect him for outkicking the coverage.

#12 F/C (So.) Angus Brandt

-Angus is Australian and claims he can juggle anything. Basketballs, perhaps?

-Is part of the Facebook group, You know you’re Australian when you can sprint in thongs

#13 F (RS Fr.) Rhys “Murph” Murphy

-Another Australian and BFF with Angus Brandt.

-Holds the record at his high school for high jump at 7’1″. Kid’s got hops.

#15 F (Fr.) Eric Moreland

-Has a ridiculous amount of tattoos, including one on his wrist that says “Just Do It” with a Nike swoosh…copyright infringement?

-Tore the cartilage in his shoulder and is out for the season.

#24 F (Sr.) Omari Johnson

-All I can say about this video is WTF. Omari, Joe Burton, and Roberto Nelson are doing some weird stuff. It looks like a tickle fight. And it looks like the three are making out in portions. Appears their relationship goes off the court, as well.

-He is currently in a relationship with a girl named Bailey…she probably would not approve of the above video.

#30 F (RS Sr.) Daniel Deane

Daniel originally transferred from the University of Utah following the 2006-2007 season.

-Take a look at the below photos to learn all about Dan:

#41 F/C (Fr.) Daniel “Jonesey” Jones

-Jonesey is a tall, boring white guy who probably won’t play much at all.

#44 F (Fr.) Devon “Boogie Down” Collier

-Boogie Down is from the Bronx, NY. Safe to say he was looking for a change of scenery by going to Corvallis.

-He is also half Puerto Rican.

#55 G (Fr.) Roberto Nelson

-Roberto was forced to sit out last year and the first seven games of this year because of eligibility issues with the NCAA.  Roberto was 0.5 credits short of meeting the NCAA’s standards coming out of high school, something he blamed on some online classes.  Academics have been a recurring problem for Roberto, as he was forced to sit out half of his senior year in high school due to grades, as well.

-Roberto was recruited by several top programs, including UW, but ended up at OSU.

-Roberto admits that he’s a pretty ugly dude.

4 thoughts on “Dawg Pack Dirt: Oregon State”

  1. “Just got handed a the scouting report from the Dawg Pack and let’s just say it’s somewhat salacious. If I printed that, not sure I’d have a job the next day. But looks like someone did a lot of work and there’s good information there.”
    -From Percy Allen

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