Dawg Pack Dirt: Oregon

Dawg Pack Dirt: University of Oregon

Volume 7, Issue 9, January 6, 2011

Special to Seattle Sportsnet

Written by dedicated Dawg Pack members

The Game:

-University of Oregon Ducks (7-7) vs. #23 University of Washington Huskies (10-3).

-Hec Edmundson Pavilion, Seattle, WA

-Thursday, January 6, 2011, 5:32 p.m. PST.

The Team:

-University of Oregon, Eugene, Ore.

-Oregon finished up their non-conference schedule 7-7.

-Last week, the Arizona schools swept the Ducks for the last two games at McArthur Court. Oregon is currently on a four-game losing streak.

-With the retirement of the one and only ‘Ernesto,’ it is time for the Dawg Pack to also retire Mexican Heritage Night. In the spirit of new traditions, the Dawg Pack has declared Thursday’s game against the Ducks as Bling & Dolla Billz Night, in honor of Sugar Daddy Phil Knight. Make sure to dress up with that bling and bring all that Monopoly money.

The Side Notes:

-As some wise Dawgs say: WSU is our rival, but Oregon is our enemy. We challenge you to bring your A-game and show those Ducks absolutely NO MERCY!

-The Dawgs had a successful trip to So Cal last weekend, taking the sweep of both L.A. schools. This is the conference home opener, which is even more of a reason to go nuts.

-We are also going to start a new chant for Aziz, similar to the Meet Jon Brockman chant a few years back. Sunu Waaye. It is pronounced SU-NU-WHY. It means he’s our man.

*Editor’s note: EVERYBODY HATES OREGON! And here’s some additional reading material on the Ducks if you’re looking for a good time.

The players:

#1 G (Jr.) Nicholas Fearn

-Refers to himself as “Nico Suave.”

-Nico Suave is one of Oregon’s walk-on players.

-Loves Girl Scout cookies, specifically Thin Mints and Samoas.

-Here’s a super cute picture of him and his BFF.

#2 G (So.) Matt Losli

-Matt is a walk-on guard and biochemistry major who says he is fulfilling his dream by playing for Oregon.

-Enjoys what some call “fence-running,” but most would call vandalism. Seen HERE.

#3 G (Jr.) Garrett ‘G Sim’ Sim

-Sim is the scrawniest kid to ever play basketball in this conference.

-His mom always stands out at the games…just take a look over behind the Oregon bench, you will see her (blonde).

-Below is Garrett dressed up as a cowboy…E.J. Singler is in there, too. Below that is a really awkward photo of Garrett and E.J…check it out.

-And in this last one Garrett is just being a classy Duck.

#4 G (Fr.) Nicholas Lucenti

-A walk-on from L.A. who has only scored one (1) basket in his Duck career, and averaged just 2.1 points per game in high school. Basically, he’s not worth our time.

#5 G (So.) Shamsu Said

-Besides his name sounding like “Shamwow,” this guy is relatively uninteresting.

-He attended high school at Seattle Prep and was born in Ethiopia.

*Editor’s note: This reminds me of former Cougar Shami Gill. He was fun, wasn’t he?

#10 G (Fr.) Johnathan Loyd

-Is dating a girl named Alex, a 17-year old cheerleader, though they are fighting because Johnathan does not give her daily wall posts.

*Editor’s note: Statutory.

#11 G (Jr.) Malcolm Armstead

-Malcolm was one of the few Ducks who decided not to transfer after the Ernesto fiasco.

-Did a Chippendales dance with some fellow teammates HERE.

#12 C (Fr.) Martin Seiferth

Martin is a freshman center from Berlin.

-His brother plays professionally in Germany.

#15 G (Jr.) John Elorriaga

-Last year, John and Garrett got into a fight during practice. Garrett received most of the abuse, resulting in a bloody lip and six stitches above his eye…

-As a senior in high school, John lost his starting football position to an underclassman. Apparently, it still bothers him.

#22 G (Jr.) Teondre Williams

-Is a member of the Facebook group “I would take a bullet for u.. Not the head but like in the leg or something”.

*Editor’s note: Sounds like a Bruno Mars song.

-Funny enough, he was one of Oregon’s finest who were shooting (and missing) at ducks (real ones) in a park a few years back.

*Editor’s note: In case you need to refresh your memory or just want to laugh, here’s the original news story.

-Teondre likes to dunk. Let’s try to get him to throw some down in warmups.

#23 F (RS Jr.) Jeremy “JJ” Jacob

-Led the team in rebounds last year.

-Famous quotes by Jeremy: “At first it was my dougie, now its my snuggie.”

-Also, he has braces! Let’s ask him if he wants some caramel corn.

#25 F (So.) E.J. Singler

-E.J. is the younger brother of Duke forward Kyle Singler. If you follow college basketball at all, you know that Kyle is a much, much better player than E.J.

*Editor’s note: But E.J. is less ugly. Just sayin’.

-E.J. has a girlfriend name Bryn. And, possibly a few boyfriends, as photo evidence would suggest.

#31 F (Jr.) Tyrone Nared

-A transfer to the Oregon program from Monroe College.

*Editor’s note: I didn’t know Monroe had a college. I thought they only had a high school, a prison, and a state fair.

-This is a must see… Tyrone dressed up as Daisy Duck.

-This guy loves the camera. HERE is a video of Ty in the team hotel in Miami.

-Winner of the Sportsmanship Award in junior college.

-Tyrone uses the word “sheeesh” a lot, and pretty much whenever he feels like it. For example, “I missed another free throw, sheeesh.”

-Ty is a New York Yankees fan.

#34 F (5Sr.) Joevan “Stay Fresh” Catron

-It might seem like he’s been around forever, and it’s because he has. Joevan was awarded a medical redshirt last year after dealing with what Eugene’s Register-Guard dubbed a “mysterious back injury.”

-Joevan has been out of shape and overweight his entire five-year Oregon career. He’s dealt with leg, knee, ankle, hip, and foot injuries along the way.

-Make sure he’s careful during warm-ups; we don’t want to have to see him again next year.

-Joevan has a huge back tattoo that reads, “The Boss.”

*Editor’s note: Ill-advised tat.

#55 G (Sr.) Jay-R Strowbridge

-Jay-R is a transfer from Jacksonville State, though he began his college career at Nebraska.

-Jay-R (Jayer?) has a Facebook fan page called, Jay-R Strowbridge, Enough Said!!!

*Editor’s note: His first name is just so wrong on so many levels. It basically fails the English language entirely.

8 thoughts on “Dawg Pack Dirt: Oregon”

  1. On a side note, UW’s Stat Boy rarely gets any love anymore. Or Stat Girl, for that matter. If you were around for the ’03-’04 season you might remember the original Stat Boy, Jordan. Jordan was the man. He actually got in trouble for throwing balled-up pieces of paper (stats) into the Dawg Pack. Anyone know where that guy went? He was great.

  2. I imagine he has well over 10,000 friends, what with his legendary reputation as Stat Boy and all. The original Stat Boy, no less. Pimpin.

  3. I was expecting a lot more dirt on the Clucks. Is it that they are so bad and have so many scrubs that there just isn’t any dirt to be found? I haven’t seen a Pac-10 team with this many irrelevant players in a long time. Its going to be fun tonight!

  4. @dylan It just shows how boring these guys and the rest of the University of Washington really are. Most the guys on this team aren’t even friens with eachother (Sim and Ellorgia fight). But believe me, there is some good stuff in the upcoming OSU dirt… Those guys are dirty.

  5. @Dawgpack10, Don’t you mean the University of Oregon?

    I find it hilarious that these guys are so irrelevant that the Dawg Pack can’t find much dirt on them. You guys usually do a great job, so I know it wasn’t for a lack of effort.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s