Dawg Pack Dirt: Texas Tech

Dawg Pack Dirt: Texas Tech University

Volume 7, Issue 4, December 4, 2010

Special to Seattle Sportsnet

Written by dedicated Dawg Pack members

The game:

-Texas Tech Red Raiders (5-3) at #22 Washington Huskies (4-2)

-Saturday, December 4, 2010 at 1:00pm

-Hec Edmundson Pavilion, Seattle, Wash.

The team:

-Texas Tech is a member of the Big 12 conference.

-The Red Raiders are coached by Pat Knight, son of Bob Knight.

-Like father, like son.

-ESPN’s Dana O’Neil has Pat sitting squarely on the hot seat after losing three games to mid-major opponents.

The players:

-#31 F/C (Jr.) Paul Cooper has three older sisters.

-#30 F (RS Fr.) Jaye Crockett hates ugly feet. He gets regular pedicures.

He doesn’t read because he “doesn’t like the smell of books.”

Says “I need a smart a** bird that can have full convos wit me when I don’t wanna talk to humans cuz humans just say dumb stuff sometimes.” When a friend suggested he get a dog, he responded, “dogs cant talk…”

-#2 G (So.) Mike Davis likes watching movies with his teammates.

-#10 G (Sr.) Wally Dunn likes to sing, as evidenced below:

*Editor’s note: We’re gonna at least quintuple his view count. If American Idol comes looking for his ass, he can thank us.

Wally also enjoys rocking the Hitler ‘stache:

Wally Dunn

 

-#4 G (RS So.) Marshall “Flash Native” Henderson’s favorite pick-up line is “I AM FLASH NATIVE.”

Flash Native is a transfer from the University of Utah.

Is a huge fan of the Dallas Cowboys, and is having a rough year because of it.

-#24 F (Sr.) Theron Jenkins is better known to his friends as “Skeeter,” for reasons we won’t ask. His profile picture is an image of Skeeter Valentine from the infamous Nickelodeon cartoon Doug.

Is still recovering from surgery, will not play.

*Editor’s note: He overskeeted. Hence the injury.

-#33 F (Fr.) Zach Jones is Texas Tech’s version of Brendan Sherrer. Sherrer has the upper hand on games played, however, as Jones has only seen the floor once this season. Apparently his friend thinks otherwise:

Zach is the IDK.

*Editor’s note: If someone responds to your text with “IDK,” it’s code for “I don’t want to talk to you, dweeb.”

-#15 F (Jr.) Robert Lewandowski is one of Texas Tech’s best shooters. He averages 13 points and seven rebounds per game.

His hobbies include reading and being with friends.

*Editor’s note: He also enjoys watching paint dry and wearing shirts of a nice taupe or beige hue.

-#13 G (Fr.) Jamel Outler has 21 listed siblings on Facebook…22 Kids and Counting? (But in reality he actually has four siblings.)

He was born in Okinawa, Japan. Konichiwa!

J.Melo is an avid bowler.

*Editor’s note: We need this guy on Karate Emergency.

-#1 F (Sr.) Brad Reese is a transfer from Gulf Coast Community College.

One of his favorite activities is “shooting poll”…Pool, perhaps?

*Editor’s note: Look. I don’t want to call this kid, you know, dumb. But what kind of grades did you have in high school to end up at a Florida community college? That’s like riding in the front of the short bus. Even the cool short bus riders who sit in the back won’t let you hang with ’em.

-#21 G (Sr.) John Robertson’s favorite book, according to his Facebook profile, is “Dont Read.” Does he even know his ABC’s?

John has a tattoo that reads “Blessed” across his chest.

Holds the world record for Largest Afro Ever.

John Robertson and his giant afro

-#32 F (Sr.) Mike Singletary is named Mike Singletary. Not to be confused with Mike Singletary, of course.

Mike Singletary

*Editor’s note: How often does this guy drop his pants in the locker room to motivate teammates? That’s the question we should really be asking ourselves.

-#25 G (Sr.) David “Collard Greenz” Tairu just set society back a few decades with his nickname.

While at the Lutheran Christian Academy in Philadelphia, an investigation by the NCAA and the New York Times found that several students on the basketball team, including Greenz, were not attending classes at all.  As a result, the Lutheran Christian Academy was shut down completely as an academic institution. Make sure to confirm that he is indeed enrolled this semester at Texas Tech.

Collard Greenz even admits to “lying to my own mom” about what was going on at Lutheran Christian. Momma Greenz must not have been happy.

*Editor’s note: My God. Everything about this entry is perfect. You literally could not ask for a better back story.

-#3 G (Fr.) Javarez Willis has a girlfriend named Jasmine Brown.

Javarez’s uncle is NBA legend Karl Malone.

*Editor’s note: Javarez is not a real name.

3 thoughts on “Dawg Pack Dirt: Texas Tech”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s