Everything Wrong With Sports Fans In One Picture

Just look at this picture. It was on the front page of ESPN.com. To the naked eye, this looks like a jubilant celebration of a championship. But look closer. Focus on the kid in the center of the picture, then look at his sign.

Clearly, that sign reads “The Torture Has Ended.” That’s a problem. This kid is like eight years old. What torture, kid? Please, tell me. What have you suffered through that was so freakin’ hard? A couple years with an aging Barry Bonds on the roster? No allowance? Not having a foul ball handed to you by the adult who caught it?

And where are the parents? Obviously it was their idea to hand this sign off to their kid. “Hold the sign, Billy! You’ll get on the big screen and everyone will know how greatly you persevered through the first eight years of your difficult life!” That’s bad parenting. Just enter him in a beauty pageant, why don’t you. Or put him beneath a sandwich board that reads, “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!”

But that’s not even the worst part.

Look even closer at that sign.

Directly to the right of the word “Has,” it reads “On Fox.” That’s right. Not only has the torture ended for this toddler, but he’s doing everything he can to sell out to the network broadcasting the game. About the only positive we can take from this twist in the story is the fact that the “On Fox” reference was promoted by ESPN. There’s something to be said for regretful cross-network pollination.

F.

F for f**k. F for fail. Just F.

This is tragic. I can’t imagine watching my team win a title at age eight. And yet here’s this bastard rubbing it in my face. Enjoy it, kid. You can wear this badge with pride for the rest of your life. You can legitimately lose your virginity one day while wearing a San Francisco Giants 2010 World Champions t-shirt and no one will blame you. I doubt I could get away with making love in my Mariners ’97 AL West Champs shirt. Or even ’95, for that matter. It just wouldn’t work. And chances are I’d completely fizzle when it really counted.

It’s come to this. Picking on children. Well. They’re sports fans too, I guess.

Long story short, I have only three words to sum up this testament to photo journalism: Suck it, kid.

6 thoughts on “Everything Wrong With Sports Fans In One Picture”

  1. I personally like the Rangers fan punching himself in the head in the upper-left corner. Also, is the little kid wearing a beard?

  2. Steven: Agreed, and yes.

    Also, it just occurred to me that this sign would be an epic win if it was actually meant to read “The Torture On Fox Has Ended.” And by torture I mean Ken Rosenthal.

  3. Maybe he is commenting about his parents? They are going to be so happy for the next days they will stop beating him…

  4. Are SF Giants fans really tortured? So they haven’t won a championship since moving to SF. Big deal. They’ve been to at least 2 WS that I know of. And really, it takes more that just NOT winning to be tortured. That kid and all of SF needs to get over themselves. Seriously.

    Plus they have 5 Super Bowls rings so STFU!!!!

  5. The sign is in reference to the team never scoring many runs throughout the season and yet still finding a way to win.

    October 11, 2010|By Dylan Hernandez

    Back in April, the San Francisco Giants were in San Diego and couldn’t score any runs.

    The display of offensive ineptitude prompted Giants broadcaster Duane Kuiper to say, on the air, “Giants baseball – torture.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s