The Answer Column: Part I

I asked for your questions, comments, and feedback and like the Paperboy, Josh Wilson, you all delivered.

Thanks to your participation, I have enough material for a two-part article. This is the first installment of responses. Look for the next episode later in the week.

Addressing your feedback in chronological order (more or less), I give you The Answer Column: Part I. Enjoy.

I was the bully. –Bailey

She’s a lot meaner than you think.

Will there ever be anything as entertaining as playing with me on NBA hangtime? And if you haven’t you really should, because it is arguably the best experience ever. –Shawn Kemp

If by NBA Hangtime you mean NBA Jam (the original), then yes, I concur.

Fun fact: In the 1996 version of Hangtime, four of the five members of the Sonics’ starting lineup were Kemp, Gary Payton, Detlef Schrempf, and Hersey Hawkins. The fifth member? Sherell Ford. Yes, that Sherell Ford. The very same Sherell Ford who was the team’s first-round draft pick in ’95 and would play a total of 28 NBA games over the course of his career. Which lasted all of one season.

Since the M’s are finally done, the Hawks have a bye, and the Dawgs – well, let’s just not even go there – I think it’s time for you to talk about something that all your readers REALLY care about. I’m speaking, of course, about a breakdown of the Top Ten Sport Video Games of All-time. I know what you’re thinking… and yes, I do have a girlfriend. But seriously, let’s hear it from you, the master. –Patrick

Two things. One, I wasn’t thinking you didn’t have a girlfriend. I assume that all my readers are getting action. And two, the fact that you’ve labeled me “the master” entitles you to a lifetime of shout-outs on these pages. Thank you, and congrats on your prize.

Here’s the deal. When I was growing up, my mom was very much against video games in our house. She wanted me and my brother to play outside as much as possible, hence we became decent enough athletes but not so well-versed in the world of Nintendo and Sega. About the only times we ever enjoyed extensive sit-downs with obese Italian plumbers and blue hedgehogs was when we were at friends’ houses. We had Gameboys. That was it.

That said, by the time my brother and I got to high school and had money to blow, we became the proud owners of a PS1, followed shortly thereafter by a PS2. When I reached college, I rekindled an old flame and bought a refurbished Super Nintendo, which I hooked up and abused in my dorm room. So basically, in my later teenage years, I became a fairly reliable source on the world of arcadism.

Still, ranking the top 10 (or perhaps 11) sports video games would be a challenge for me. Instead, I give you four (yes, four) of my favorite sports video games of all time, ranked in descending order:

1. Madden ’04. Lots of people might just say Madden and leave it at that. I’ll do you one better and give you the year. Why 2004? Two words: Michael Vick. You could run QB sweeps all day long with the Falcons and win from sunup to sundown. Vick was to Madden ’04 what Terrence Howard was to Hustle and Flow. Pimpin’.

2. Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball. The best part about this game wasn’t just the fact that, lo and behold, the Mariners were the best team. Or even that, believe it or not, Junior was the premier player. No, what you really have to appreciate about Jr. Baseball were all the right-handed hitters batting left-handed (Alex Rodriguez, for example) and all the right-handed pitchers throwing southpaw (Bill Risley, for one). Suffice it to say that this was the first time we realized the Nintendo Corporation might not be taking their ownership of our hometown nine all that seriously.

3. NCAA March Madness ’06. EA Sports came to the University of Washington in 2005 and filmed the Dawg Pack for the intro sequence to this game. Any Dawg Pack member from the ’04-’05 season should own this game. No, the gameplay isn’t stellar (freshman Artem Wallace might be the best player on the Huskies’ roster, for one thing), but does it really matter when you and 500 of your closest friends are featured all over this masterpiece?

4. Pole Position. I realize that racing only kind of counts as a sport. But come on. Pole Position is a classic. In fact, in the basement of my parents’ house is a copy of this game, along with an original Atari system. No joke. The first game I ever really loved.

Are you going to continue doing Dawg Pack Dirt during basketball season this year? –Conor

That’s a damn good question. Over the past couple seasons, current UW students have been compiling the Dirt, then sending it to me for publication. Their efforts resulted in some of the most-read pieces ever posted on these pages.

Unfortunately for us (and fortunately for them), the most recent authors of the Dirt have graduated and moved on to bigger and better things. As of right now, no current Dawg Pack member has stepped up to assume ownership over the process. So if someone out there would like to do that, please let me know. I’d love to publish your work!

*Side note: The Dirt has been in existence since 2004, when I created it one day in Suzzallo Library. If we can get it off the ground in the next month, this will be its seventh year in production.

Write the plot for the 30 in 30 [ESPN’s documentary series, 30 for 30] movie about the 2010 Huskies. They started the season 2-3, but they miraculously came back to win the Pac-10 title with Jake winning the Heisman. Bonus points if you can tie in Antoine Tyler, the ghost from The Sixth Man. — Jeff

Here’s how it goes down:

Oregon gets sanctioned in midseason after it’s discovered that LaMichael James is actually a 26-year-old former junior college player who used up all his eligibility four years ago.

Oregon State loses to the Dawgs, then loses to everyone else.

Stanford gets sanctioned when it’s determined that Owen Marecic is actually an alien.

Arizona gets sanctioned when their fans unnecessarily storm the field and stomp a mascot to death.

USC is already sanctioned.

UCLA, WSU, Cal, and ASU suck (which means we’ve already lost to one sucky team, but oh well, it happens).

That leaves…the Huskies! It’s not the prettiest route to a title, but it works.

Jake Locker takes home the trophy after springboarding his performance against Oregon State into the greatest Heisman comeback you’ve ever seen in your whole freakin’ life.

Oh, and Antoine Tyler is honored posthumously as the Husky Legend for the last home game of the year. You didn’t know? In addition to his court skills, Antoine was a star wideout for the Dawgs from ’94-’96.

How likely are you to give Josh Sabrowsky significant playing time now that he has recorded a basket for the Athletic Supporters? –Concerned Fan

Who is Josh and why don’t you play him more? –Samuel

For those who don’t know, Josh Sabrowsky is a friend of mine who happens to be a producer at Sports Radio 950 KJR. He also moonlights as a…combo guard…for the Athletic Supporters rec basketball team. I am the captain of the Athletic Supporters, and admittedly we’re pretty good. Josh is a solid backup on this squad of all-stars.

Here’s the thing. In recent weeks, I’ve been taking a verbal beating from the pundits on the 950 KJR airwaves because of my “coaching decisions” regarding Josh. Frankly, I don’t consider myself a coach. I don’t know anything. I’m a player. I’m the shortest guy on the team. All I do is handle the paperwork, front the money for our league, and set a starting lineup. Beyond that, it’s a free-for-all. If you ever watched us play, you’d see disarray at its most beautiful finest. That’s our gameplan. Kill them with frantic disorganization. Works like a charm.

Will Josh get more PT? Assuming he plays hard, knocks down buckets when they’re presented to him, doesn’t get into foul trouble, and scraps, of course he’ll get more PT. Reward hustle. It’s that simple.

On a side note, if he had a fan club, I’d be more apt to play him more. In order for Josh to get a fan club, however, we need more fans to start attending our games. Please do so.

*Update: Sabrowsky scored a career-high eight points off the bench for AS on Monday night, October 18th. The 5-1 Supporters marched to an easy win behind the performance of their secret weapon.

Talk Husky hoops because it’s almost that time of year and they are going to be filthy, nasty something sick to watch this season! –Sam

Will do. Husky Basketball is my forte. Just gotta get into that groove here in the coming weeks.

1) Who is the ugliest pro athlete in history? 2) What is the biggest perk of being a part of Seattle sports media? 3) Best beer on a budget? 4) Top 5 most hated teams, any sport at any level? 5) Oh, and career aspirations. –Adam

1. Chris Kaman. Though I have a friend who used to try and convince me that it was former Cleveland Cavalier Paul Mokeski. Either way, Kaman’s come a long ways since I ranked him eighth on this list a year ago.

2. It has nothing to do with being part of the media and everything to do with getting to connect with people. I guess they kind of go hand in hand, but I really, really enjoy getting to converse with all the local sports fans who just want to chat. It’s a perk in that I get to meet a lot of good individuals who want to be a part of this hobby of mine, and that’s an amazing feeling.

3. Three letters: PBR. Pabst Blue Ribbon. It won an award, after all.

4. Top five most hated sports teams: 1) University of Oregon football 2) University of Oregon men’s basketball 3) University of Oregon baseball 4) University of Oregon track 5) University of Oregon cross country.

5. I have a good job which I enjoy. I’d like to experience financial and personal success at my job, while simultaneously having lots of fun with media for as many years as I possibly can. If I can do that, I’ll be happy.

Do you like waffle? –Jason

I like waffles, pancakes, and french toast equally.

I know plenty of people who are drawn back from your blog due to the raunchiness. If you could eliminate some of the “sexual” stuff it would bring in more readers. Plus, it’s just kind of unneeded. –Nathan

I know plenty of people who are drawn back from your blog due to the raunchiness. If you could add some more of the “sexual” stuff it would bring in more readers. Plus, it’s just kind of needed. –Rio

So it’s gonna stay about the same then.

What are your favorite websites/blogs that you read on a daily basis? (Non-sports included) –Kevin

Probably got too many websites to name (I’m an information whore), but here’s the routine I go through when I first log onto the computer in the morning:

1) Seattle Sportsnet (it’s my home page…gotta make sure the site’s not down or something)

2) Facebook (briefly)

3) Twitter (briefly)

4) ESPN

5) Pearce Fantasy League fantasy football message board (part of ESPN)

6) SeattleTimes.com sports page

7) Jerry Brewer’s Brewery blog

7) Gmail

8) KOMO News (for the weather, mostly)

9) Back to Facebook for a more detailed look at what everyone’s up to (gotta make sure my friends are doing well, and I always check for a new Breakin It Down With Bailey blog entry)

Do you remember when a hot hitting Josh Wilson started at 1st for the M’s? –JDmoney

Do you remember when Zack, Lisa, Screech, and Mr. Belding moved from John F. Kennedy Middle School in Indiana to Bayside High School in Southern California with no explanation whatsoever for their insane transition?

The point I’m trying to make here is that both of these occurrences — Wilson’s switch across the diamond and Saved By The Bell’s cross-country migration — were super awkward.

Stay tuned for Part II of The Answer Column later in the week.

11 thoughts on “The Answer Column: Part I”

  1. The fact that you didn’t include Tecmo Super Bowl in your top games makes me sad for you. Nintendo as a child or not, we need to expose you to this game!

    If nothing else, I will run in a zig-zag pattern up the driveway when you watch the game with us Saturday to illustrate for you just how effective it is.

  2. As any loyal reader of this blog would know, I’m a petite ball of fury–know what’s real good to have in a flag football game? A petite ball of fury! I am ready for some football!

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