Mike’s Weenie Explodes

Did you know that “Mike Sweeney” sounds a lot like “Mike’s Weenie?” Well now you do. Enjoy that.

Anyways, in case you missed Friday night’s M’s game, the Mariners went off like Oliver Miller at Old Country Buffet. They erupted for 15 runs, and at the forefront of that eruption was Mike’s Weenie, himself.

Sweeney, Official Giver of Hugs, raised his batting average 50 points — from .226 to .276 — with a 4-for-5 performance that included two home runs, six RBI, and two runs scored. The six RBI nearly doubled his season production up to this point (he had seven RBI entering Friday).

Of course, by now, we have to wonder what the hell has gotten into this guy.

Over the past eight days, the 36-year-old part-time employee is batting .417 (10-for-24), with five home runs, 10 RBI, and five runs scored. His slugging percentage over that span is a whopping 1.042. Amazingly, Sweeney is actually living up to the role of a cleanup hitter, and so long as his back can stay healthy, this is great news for the Mariners.

If you ask Sweeney what the source of this surge is, he’ll tell you it’s his love for Ken Griffey Jr. that gives him all the power he needs to do his job in such outstanding fashion. No, seriously. Just listen to any postgame interview and you’ll see what I mean.

That said, if taking Junior’s job is Sweeney’s way of showing love, I’d hate to see what he does to those he dislikes. Look out, Larry LaRue.

No matter how batsh*t crazy Sweeney may have gone off the field in recent days, we’ll take everything he can possibly give us between the lines. Enjoy this while it lasts, M’s fans.

2 thoughts on “Mike’s Weenie Explodes”

  1. I saw a sign today in West Seattle, it said “Cover your load, it’s the law.” On May 21, 2010, that law did not apply to Mike Sweeney.

  2. Guess this will be the only way Mike Sweeney will get respect from all his detractors who thought he shouldn’t be on the team coming out of camp. For those of us that did want him on the team this is even sweeter! http://jeffsmariners.com

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