In an effort to give Seattle sports fans something interesting to read about, we tapped our social network and came up with 11 participants to join us in the ultimate Seattle Sports Media All-Star Fantasy Baseball League. A standard 12-team operation hosted by ESPN.com, our head-to-head league features a dozen members of the local sports media ranks to compete for the title of fantasy champion.
To help you get to know our league a little better (which you’ll be hearing about frequently over the next six months), here is an in-depth profile on all 12 teams and their respective owners:
Lake City Division
Name: The Half-Asian Mafia
Owner: Ryan Divish
Bio: Rated the most popular Mariners beat writer amongst bartenders in the entire Puget Sound region, Divish is an institution at the Tacoma News-Tribune. In addition to his work at the TNT, Divish is a frequent guest on sports radio 950 KJR and is most known outside of work for his consumption of adult beverages. A former college baseball player at Dickinson State University in North Dakota, Divish now spends his free time playing recreational basketball at the YMCA with children and seniors.
First-round draft pick: Miguel Cabrera, 1B, Detroit Tigers, No. 9 overall
Sleeper pick: Jon Rauch, RP, Minnesota Twins, 17th round (No. 201 overall)
Name: Pink Ladies PL
Owner: Josh Sabrowsky
Bio: A veteran producer at sports radio 950 KJR AM, Sabrowsky is a University of Washington graduate who doubles as a more-than-capable punching bag for the station’s hosts. Nicknamed “The Red Baron,” Sabrowsky is known for his keen fashion sense and ability to make any clothing item trendy, including a pink headband.
First-round draft pick: Tim Lincecum, SP, San Francisco Giants, No. 7 overall
Sleeper pick: Lastings Milledge, OF, Pittsburgh Pirates, 18th round (No. 210 overall)
Name: Team Crabtree
Owner: Curtis Crabtree
Bio: A graduate of Central Washington University, Crabtree is a reporter/producer at 950 KJR who has been the station’s go-to source for Seahawks notes and quotes over the past two seasons. An accomplished greenskeeper in his past profession, Crabtree shares a surname with an NFL receiver (Michael Crabtree) and an obscure right-handed pitcher from the ’90s who once pitched for the Texas Rangers (Tim Crabtree).
First-round draft pick: Prince Fielder, 1B, Milwaukee Brewers, No. 5 overall
Sleeper pick: Brian Matusz, SP, Baltimore Orioles, 17th round (No. 197 overall)
Name: Internet Dating with White Mike
Owner: Andy Bunker
Bio: The driving force behind 950 KJR’s Basketball Jones segment, Bunker is yet another member of the station’s talented production team. A UW grad, Bunker can be seen riding around the city of Seattle on his moped and is a former high school classmate of Houston Rockets guard Aaron Brooks.
First-round draft pick: Albert Pujols, 1B, St. Louis Cardinals, No. 1 overall
Sleeper pick: Cody Ross, OF, Florida Marlins, 19th round (No. 217 overall)
Name: Team Shockey
Co-owners: Kevin Shockey and Elise Woodward
Bios: Nicknamed “Spanky,” Shockey is the night-time producer at 950 KJR. A rabid Philadelphia sports fan, Shockey is a graduate of Seattle Pacific University and would likely spawn Chase Utley’s baby if given the right chromosomes and a uterus.
Elise Woodward is the host of KJR’s evening show, Elise At Night. A former basketball player at UW, Woodward is that rare breed of individual that grew up in Eugene, yet managed to escape the evil clutches of the University of Oregon.
First-round draft pick: Matt Kemp, OF, Los Angeles Dodgers, No. 11 overall
Sleeper pick: Leo Nunez, RP, Florida Marlins, 19th round (No. 227 overall)
Name: Jonathan Quayle Higgins
Owner: Alex Akita
Bio: An average guy who enjoys a good laugh, Akita is the dude currently writing this article. The league commissioner, Akita once sat through all of Vanilla Sky. In a theater.
First-round draft pick: Evan Longoria, 3B, Tampa Bay Rays, No. 6 overall
Sleeper pick: Stephen Strasburg, SP, Washington Nationals, 12th round (No. 139 overall)
South Park Division
Name: Divish’s Liver
Owner: Mason Kelley
Bio: The premier source for high school sports information in Western Washington, Kelley is the voice behind the High School Sports Blog at The Seattle Times. A University of Washington graduate, Kelley’s team name is the result of a longstanding, good-natured feud with former co-worker Ryan Divish. On a personal note, Kelley is rumored to have recently obtained a girlfriend, a claim which Divish has disputed.
First-round pick: David Wright, 3B, New York Mets, No. 12 overall
Sleeper pick: Buster Posey, C, San Francisco Giants, 20th round (No. 229 overall)
Name: El Mariachi Loco
Owner: Larry Stone
Bio: A respected voice amongst baseball writers nationwide, Stone is the heart and soul of The Hot Stone League Blog at The Seattle Times. A proud Golden Bear, Stone is a graduate of the University of California-Berkeley, and is the person most likely to kick all of our asses in this league.
First-round draft pick: Hanley Ramirez, SS, Florida Marlins, No. 2 overall
Sleeper pick: Travis Snider, OF, Toronto Blue Jays, 17th round (No. 194 overall)
Name: Team Abker
Owner: Brian Abker
Bio: Nicknamed “The Captain,” Abker is the lead pilot of KJR’s Chopper 950. With a penchant for spending more time delivering witty insults than actually scouting Friday afternoon traffic, Abker is rather likely to get himself in trouble at least once a week. A proud Washington State alum, The Captain is a 40-year-old bachelor who would love to show a beautiful willing or unwilling young lady what a mature gentleman is capable of. Call him a Man Cougar.
First-round draft pick: Chase Utley, 2B, Philadelphia Phillies, No. 10 overall
Sleeper pick: Julio Borbon, OF, Texas Rangers, 14th round (No. 159 overall)
Name: Release The Kraken
Owner: Matt Winter
Bio: A member of The Seattle Times’ sports department, Winter is a proud Husky who (sadly) moonlights as a San Antonio Spurs fan. The only man living in Seattle who finds Manu Ginobili’s bald spot to be sexually appealing, Winter plans on releasing the Kraken all over this league by season’s end.
First-round draft pick: Carl Crawford, OF, Tampa Bay Rays, No. 8 overall
Sleeper pick: Matt Lindstrom, RP, Houston Astros, 18th round (No. 209 overall)
Name: Team Milles
Owner: Todd Milles
Bio: A veteran columnist at the Tacoma News-Tribune, Milles has covered nearly every sporting event known to man during his tenure at the TNT. Milles is the voice behind the News-Tribune’s Golf Blog and is a proud alumnus of Washington State University. An unabashed fan of the show Cheaters, Milles claims to prefer sex scandals over politics, and may or may not be linked to a handful of the women that are similarly linked to Tiger Woods.
First-round draft pick: Ryan Braun, OF, Milwaukee Brewers, No. 4 overall
Sleeper pick: Garrett Jones, 1B/OF, Pittsburgh Pirates, 19th round (No. 22o overall)
Name: Team Condotta
Owner: Bob Condotta
Bio: A veritable god to Husky fans, Condotta is the man, the myth, and the legend behind University of Washington football reporting (and at one time, UW basketball, as well). The creative genius behind the Husky Football Blog, many would be surprised to find out that Condotta is actually an alumnus of one of Washington’s biggest rivals.
First-round draft pick: Alex Rodriguez, 3B, New York Yankees, No. 3 overall
Sleeper pick: Aroldis Chapman, SP, Cincinnati Reds, 14th round (No. 166 overall)
So there you have it. Twelve teams. Two divisions. One champion to be crowned amongst the sports media all-stars.
We’ll keep you updated on this ragtag league of pseudo-champions right here on Seattle Sportsnet throughout the baseball season. Where we’re your premier source for fictional sports in the Great Northwest.