But let’s be real here for a minute.
In a world of wings, posts, and other fictional positions that most recently existed in 1950, the University of Connecticut women’s basketball team is an absolute powerhouse of ridiculously irrelevant proportions.
The Lady Huskies (or, “Luskies,” as I like to call them) have run off 72 straight victories and nobody cares. You don’t care. I don’t care. Nobody. Cares.
Has there ever been a more meaningless streak?
Just the fact that pundits have greeted UConn’s run to history with mixed reviews — some feel that it is an accomplishment worthy of accolades, while others feel it is bringing down the sport — should tell you all you need to know about this feat of parody and disparity.
The Luskies’ conquests are laughable.
For one, their average margin of victory in this 2009-2010 season is 34 points.
For another, they’ve won every single game this year by double-digits.
WNBA teams would be hard-pressed to knock off UConn at this point. Heck, coach Geno Auriemma could pull a Gordon Bombay and make his entire squad the Olympic team. Put them in USA jerseys, or let them wear their Connecticut gear, or give them Mighty Ducks apparel. Doesn’t matter, they’d likely still take gold.
When the NCAA Tournament kicks off in the coming days, UConn will be matched up against some hapless 16-seed that won’t get within 50 points of their competition. Good luck to the Sisters of the Blind, the Mother of the Crippled, Our Father of the Deaf and Dumb, or whichever other team draws Connecticut early. You’re gonna need it.
Barring some sort of miracle, the Luskies will romp their way to the championship game and ultimately trample a supposedly-worthy opponent in the final contest. Like taking Chun Li into battle against Sagat in Street Fighter 2, this sh*t is about to get ugly.
I guess you can call it a positive that people are even talking about women’s college basketball at all. If Connecticut was just average, we certainly wouldn’t notice. Although they’re at the point now where an average UConn squad would draw attention like a supermodel at Curves. And not a plus-size supermodel, either. A regular-size. Suffice it to say, it’d be weird.
Knowing the end result — that Connecticut will win the NCAA Tournament — ahead of time makes for a crappy form of entertainment. If you support one of the many other schools in the NCAA that could possibly vie against UConn for a National Championship, you’re already out of luck. They are Michael Jordan, you are Craig Ehlo. It’s Game Over. And the game hasn’t even started yet.
Ah, well. The fact of the matter is, you probably didn’t care to begin with. Attendance figures, TV ratings, merchandise sales, general water cooler discussion…they all prove this fact. Women’s college basketball is a dying sport, and you can thank the Luskies — the Dr. Jack Kevorkian in all this — for providing the euthanasia to put this thing out of its misery.