If you watched FSN’s broadcast of the Washington-Washington State game on Saturday, chances are you noticed one thing. Make that two things. Or perhaps, more accurately, the one thing that divided those two things.
With a little, “Hey, Bill Moos, how ya doin? My eyes are up here,” Mueller’s rising dough was the star of the show in Pullman.
Out of nowhere, there was immense cleavage, which as defined by Merriam-Webster is “the quality of a crystallized substance or rock splitting along definite planes.” Wait. That’s not it. Definition five: “the depression between a woman’s breasts especially when made visible by a low-cut neckline.”
And visible that depression was. Might as well have been the Great Depression.
As if to atone for the loss of Nicole Zaloumis, FSN is looking to every remaining member of their on-air talent for breast help, cleavage aid. They need ratings, and boobies equal ratings. Enter Jen Mueller.
Perhaps Brad Adam wasn’t fully equipped. Maybe Tom Glasgow wasn’t willing to “go there.” I don’t know. All I know is that Mueller took one for the team on Saturday, proving to the world that there are more important things in sports broadcasting than the actual game.
We’ll monitor this situation as it evolves. If anyone has a contact number for Danger Jim Forman, get that to us ASAP. We need a daring red-haired man in a yellow parka to handle this.