To celebrate the distinction we receive from others who want us to care about their cause, we’ve started a new segment that highlights the most unfortunate cause we are made privy to every seven days.
This week’s winner: BILL COWHER AS HEAD COACH OF THE SEAHAWKS!
With a window of opportunity barely larger than what remains of Mark McGwire’s testes, a loyal Seahawks fan seized the 15 or 20 minutes that separated the firing of Jim Mora and hiring of Pete Carroll to create a Facebook fan page dedicated to a third party, ex-Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Bill Cowher.
Though no one can disagree that Cowher would have been a solid hire, he was never linked to the Seahawks’ vacancy, never rumored as a real candidate, and never even given a chance to win the job.
Instead, within seconds of canning Mora, the Hawks were already hot on Carroll’s ass, inking the former USC coach to a deal by Monday. The sheer velocity of the hiring left outsiders questioning whether the Seahawks were in bed with Pete all along.
With only 41 fans (42, now that we’ve joined), one wall post, no additional information, and one photo, you have to wonder how deeply invested the creators of this page were in getting their message across. Obviously the team wasn’t paying attention. Neither was Cowher. Neither were most Facebook users.
But that’s okay, because you’ll notice them now, and that’s what counts.
Along with the likes of all the other pointless Facebook causes you self-righteous bastards support for no real reason or another (like you have any real intention of curing AIDS by clicking on a link that says “Join”), you might as well join this group and make someone’s day, namely the person who spawned this epic failure.
One day, many years from now, you might be able to look back at this fan page and say, “Hey, remember that span of 48 hours where we really campaigned hard for Bill Cowher’s hiring as the next Seahawks coach? That was fun.” Or you might not give a rat’s ass.
But look at it this way. Joining the cause now, after the train has already left the station, is like being the poor African kid who gets stuck with the championship t-shirt devoted to the team who lost in the Superbowl (How’s your 2009 Arizona Cardinals Superbowl Champions shirt holding up, kid?). It might not be sexy, and it might not hold much water, but it’s unique, and it’s something you can cherish. Yeah…that sounds about right.