What’s Up With Mark McGwire’s Neck?

For those you of who witnessed all or part of Bob Costas’ interview yesterday with Mark McGwire (broadcast originally on MLB Network, but clipped on nearly every media outlet), you were likely wondering the same thing as me: What’s up with Big Mac’s neck?

Like a human lava flow gone terribly awry, McGwire appears to be disintegrating between the shoulders and head, and you have to wonder if this has anything to do with steroids.

The rest of McGwire looks fine, normal even, and his face shows no sign of melting. Back in the day, McGwire was plagued by an acne problem, but that seems to have subsided for now.

To help brainstorm possible causes of McGwire’s skin issue, I’ve created this short list of explanations:

1. He’s part snowman.

2. He has the same disease as Erik Stoltz in Mask.

3. He is Erik Stoltz, but wearing a real-life mask and on steroids.

4. He accidentally injected steroids into his neck.

5. He overused the neck press at the gym, bulked up to the point of no return, then watched as his neck muscles collapsed under the strain of the added weight.

6. He was choked out by the Human Torch.

7. He absorbed a round of bullets entirely with his neck.

8. He’s part sponge.

9. He has a textured rash, the likes of which we’ve never seen before.

10. All the HGH he used went straight to his neck, then backfired.

11. He had a fat neck, couldn’t lose the weight, had neck stapling surgery, and this is the result.

Whether or not McGwire’s neck problem has anything to do with steroids or HGH is irrelevant. We can just assume that both drugs are involved, then use Big Mac as the “After” picture of the effects of performance-enhancing drug use. “See, kids. If you use steroids, your neck will look like that.”

6 thoughts on “What’s Up With Mark McGwire’s Neck?”

  1. Ahahah, I just called my roommate Pat into my room 3 minutes ago to check out Mark McGwire’s neck on TV and then I come here and am happy to see I’m not the only one that has noticed this.

  2. Stretch marks from loss of muscle mass, because of quitting the steroids. Also he has had a total face lift, which makes his neck look even worse because of the contrast between his face and neck.
    Hes on a fast decline down, I’d give him ten years max.

  3. I was looking into his neck myself, because I have something similar happening to me. For the past 10 years my neck area suffers from psoriasis and I have similar scarring that Mark has. As I got older the condition has become worse and the my neck has suffered the same way.

  4. Somehow just wound up here and I just woke up my family when I read #2. Hilarious List!!!!

  5. It’s funny how people will do almost anything for a cheap giggle. How bout saying any of this to Macs face? Naaaaaa. That’d get your lights punched out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s