Dawg Pack Dirt: Oregon State University

Dawg Pack Dirt: Oregon State

Volume 6, Issue 11, December 31, 2009

Special to Seattle Sportsnet

*Editor’s note: We are currently looking for any and all Dawg Pack members or alums who would be interested in participating in a photo shoot for ESPN The Magazine. The shoot will likely take place within the next two weeks somewhere on campus. More details will be presented as they become available. If you or your friends want to be a part of this special opportunity, email us at seattlesportsnet@gmail.com.

PAC-10! NEW YEAR’S EVE! Those two exclamations should be enough to make anyone excited for Thursday night’s conference opener. College kids combined with New Year’s Eve and the opening of Pac-10 basketball should make for a VERY raucous Dawg Pack.

We did a great job during the non-conference season and helped take the Dawgs to a 9-2 start and a #16 ranking. It’s time to take it to another level, though, with Pac-10 play. Come and celebrate the end of a great year by being as crazy as you can.

Also, regarding our upcoming game against Oregon on Saturday, get your Mexican Heritage Night gear ready and prepare for a fiesta. This is more than likely Ernesto’s last season as the head coach of the Ducks, barring some huge turnaround, so let’s make it great night!

The Game:

-Oregon State Beavers at Washington Huskies

-Thursday, December 31, 2009 at 7:00 p.m. PST

The Team:

Oregon State is currently off to a disappointing start, given their expectations to be one of the up-and-coming teams in the Pac-10 this season. They are currently 6-5, including a 24 point loss to Texas A&M Corpus Christi, and a four point loss to Texas Tech.

The Coach:

– Head Coach Craig Robinson, for those that don’t know, is the brother of First Lady Michelle Obama, making him the brother-in-law to President Barack Obama. Anyone unhappy with President Obama’s first year leading our nation, please take a ticket and submit your complaint to Craig Robinson.

He’s also a giant human being.

*Editor’s note: Robinson also looks exactly like his sister. Compare their faces side to side. There is no difference whatsoever. That’s gotta be tough on Barack. When he looks into Michelle’s eyes, all he sees is Craig.

The Former Student Managers:

-Jared — whose real name is Stephen Sethney — has become the focus of a yearly celebration during the Beavers’ return to Seattle every year. Unfortunately, Jared has used up all eight years of his undergraduate student manager eligibility, but lucky for us he will be making the trip to Seattle anyways. This time around, he will be sitting behind the OSU bench as a fan.

The legend of Jared goes like this…

During the 2006-2007 season, the Dawg Pack was looking for a source of entertainment while both teams were in their locker rooms during pregame. We immediately called out the OSU ball boy to start shooting and he obliged, making just about every three-pointer that he took. The Dawg Pack asked for his name and he told us it was Jared. A bond was formed.

Since then, the Dawg Pack has learned Jared’s real name and has kept in contact with the OSU success story despite the fact that he should have graduated a few years ago.

This sharpshooter has endured chants such as, “PUT IN JARED!” as well as praise equal to that of our own players. He possesses a career .998 pre-game three-point percentage in Hec Ed. I seriously don’t think he’s missed a shot in two years.

Jared has been counting down the days until his Beavers open up Pac-10 play with a win (or so he claims) on his Facebook account. so let him know what you think.

-Fish — aka Matt Fischer — is Jared’s heavier-set friend who has nothing on Jared when it comes to shooting the rock. He will be sitting with Jared.

The Players:

-#12 F/C Angus Brandt (Fr.) is Australian, which should immediately spawn many bad accents and Foster’s jokes when he goes to check in.

He claims that he can juggle anything, so make sure to ask for a demonstration.

As a post player, he shoots 35% from the field and 12% from beyond the arc, so I’m not quite sure why he ever sees the court.

Some people may find his interpretation of Santa very interesting.

Oh, and his name is Angus!

-#11 F/C Joe Burton (Fr.) goes by the nickname “Sauce”. The freshman has been getting playing time, but he still made the freshman mistake of leaving us his phone number. Wish him luck and a happy New Year at [edited for relevance]. As always, keep it classy.

He also just got his mohawk cut on Sunday. Let him know how you feel about that.

-#1 G Jared Cunningham (Fr.) has a mohawk that definitely warrants a “STEG-O-SAURUS” chant more than a few times during the game. You want to feel weird? Just check out this pic.

-#30 F Daniel Deane (Jr.) has a 1/6.5 assist to turnover ratio! I know he’s a forward, but seriously. Here is a photo that I’m sure he’s proud of.

Deane also resembles Charles Manson to some people.

#2 F Calvin Hampton (Sr.) has a long-lasting love affair with the Dawg Pack. He was given the nickname “Sugar Lips” by us during his freshman season, shortly after he blew us a kiss following a made free throw. Give him a call at [edited for relevance] to confess your love for him, as well.

Hampton is also the last remaining member of an Oregon State squad that inexplicably wanted to fight Washington outside the team hotel two seasons ago.

His playing time has seriously diminished during his senior season, so let’s try to convince Craig Robinson to put him in during his last trip to Hec Ed.

-#22 G Calvin Haynes (Jr.) calls himself “OSU’s’s Finest”. Yes, that is two apostrophe S’s.

-#24 F Omari Johnson (Jr.) goes by the nickname “Juice.”

He lists his favorite book as “a book? what da f*** is a book?”

For irony and comedic sake, here he is getting smacked in the face by UCLA’s Alfred Aboya.

-#0 F Kevin McShane (So.) just celebrated his 21st birthday on Tuesday, so make sure to wish him a belated happy birthday.

#3 G Chris Richard (So.) has his own production company called Rischard Beatz, and he says he has “HOT BEATS FOR $10”. I advise everyone to inquire further about his beat services.

-#10 F/C Roeland Schaftenaar (Sr.) goes by the nickname “Ru”.

During an exhibition game earlier this year, Schaftenaar tripped and fell flat on his face while he was being introduced, so make sure to remind him of that.

Schaftenaar is also the roommate of former student manager, Jared.

He is a native of the Netherlands.

Anytime you turn on a Beaver game, you are sure to hear about how Schaftenaar is OSU’s “Point Center,” and how he is “such a talented passer.” Maybe he can awe us with his skills during warm-ups.

His girlfriend is a member of the OSU softball team.

-#5 G Josh Tarver (Sr.) and #15 G/F Seth Tarver (Sr.) are brothers making their last trip to Hec Ed so let’s make sure to ask Josh why his brother is so much better.

*Editor’s note: I have always found it amusing that the back of Seth Tarver’s jersey reads “S.TARVER.” In fact, many folks have simply taken to calling him Starver. To you, this may not be funny. To me, it’s uniquely hilarious.

#34 G Lathen Wallace (Jr.) is a guard who has an assist to turnover ratio of 1/7. Are you kidding me?!? That is all.

Final Notes:

-Get your UW Snuggies ready. There is a plan in the works to have a Snuggie game in the Dawg Pack. More info will come soon but there is some possible advertisement stuff that needs to be worked out.

-Also, if you’re not already doing so, follow the Dawg Pack on Twitter @UWDawgPack for daily updates, dirt, and more! Tell your friends!


6 thoughts on “Dawg Pack Dirt: Oregon State University”

  1. From loyal reader Chris Trimis:

    “A friend of mine and I have been texting Joe Burton and he thinks that this girl, Haley, is “into” him. She has been sweet talking him and he has requested pics of her. He thinks that she is trying to meet him for autographs before or after the game. Don’t know how they can use this, but it’s a good chance for some banter or chanting and some extra dirt.”

    My suggestion? Bring pictures of former child star Haley Joel Osment to the game.

  2. I’m headed to Hec Ed tonight, and after reading this I’m looking forward to seeing what the Dawg Pack has in store more than I am the actual game.

    Go Dawgs!

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