*Editor’s note: This article was originally posted on November 6, 2009. You may have missed it, so I’m reposting it. I highly suggest you read it. It’s an amazing depiction of the real-life ridiculousness that goes on in my fantasy football league and my favorite thing on this entire website. Enjoy.
You’ve heard of reality television. This is reality dialogue.
The following is a real-life transcript from a fantasy football message board thread that spiraled ridiculously out of control. Going rapidly from football talk to an internet fisticuffs over a relationship gone awry, this script is the literary embodiment of a Jerry Springer episode.
The setting for our story is the Pearce Fantasy League, a fantasy football legion of 12 men in their early 20s who have spent years competing against one another in the pantheon of made-up sports, while simultaneously becoming friends in the process. I am one of the 12 members of this league, denoted in the transcript as “Alex.”
Though most of us are mutually amicable with one another, one-sixth of the group does not get along. In fact, these two people hate each other. Miserably. Why, you ask? It’s very simple. One individual, who we’ll refer to as “Gorman,” declared his love for a female acquaintance — who we’ll call “Laqueesha,” for the purposes of this exercise — who happened to be in an existing relationship with another male, “Thabo Sefelosha.”
Smitten by Gorman’s advances, Laqueesha left Thabo Sefelosha empty-handed and broken-hearted and ran off with Gorman. Ultimately, Gorman and Laqueesha would wed. Thabo Sefelosha, sadly, would never be the same.
Thabo Sefelosha and Gorman are the made-up names for two very real people who happen to be team owners in the PFL. They are my friends, but clearly they have issues they need to get past.
Perhaps twice a year, their on-going feud becomes the subject of message-board fodder in our fantasy league. It ranges from amusing to hilarious to sad. This thread encompasses the emotional entirety of that range.
The transcript is very long, and I suggest if you’re going to read it you sit down with a beer or two first. It’s absolutely laugh-out-loud funny at times, and, so long as you can get past the grammar and spelling, will engage you like a Jon and Kate Divided By Eight affair.
Here’s a breakdown of the characters in our story. With the exceptions of myself (Alex) and a close confidant (Pete), the remaining names have been changed to protect the identities of all those involved.
Alex: That’s me. One of the most passionate members in the PFL and one of four revered individuals on the PFL Board of Directors. Also the only non-Caucasian in the league, which actually plays a role in this ethnically-retarded microcosm of dystopic reality. Owner of the Compton Honkies franchise.
Pete: One of the two most active members in the PFL, along with Alex. An instigator who does whatever it takes to stir up interest in the league. Blindly passionate to an insurmountable degree, Pete creates this thread with the intention of ruffling a few feathers, then continues to stoke the ashes in order to keep the flames burning. Owner of the Tehran Rooster Illusion.
Gorman: A cop by day, Gorman generally takes a serious approach to the antics within the league. He tends to be limited in his league participation and only occasionally weighs in on message board topics. Maintains a longstanding feud with leaguemate Thabo Sefelosha after destroying Thabo’s relationship with an ex-girlfriend, then marrying the girl he wooed out of Thabo’s warm embrace. Owner of the Ice Cream City Five-O.
Thabo Sefelosha: Often criticized for exhibiting “small-man’s complex,” Thabo is simply a petite ball of fire filled with unbridled passion for life. A few years ago, he was riding high with a girlfriend who he was on the verge of proposing to before his one-time friend and current arch-enemy, Gorman, swooped in and relieved him of the prospect of marriage. He has tried to put this episode behind him, but again…petite ball of fire, lots of passion. Member of the Board of Directors. Owner of the Bitter Lake Bastards.
JaDavid: The commissioner of the PFL and a sound voice of reason within the league. Equally respected by the other 11 members in the PFL, JaDavid exudes a calm confidence that resonates with the cast of characters he presides over. Though some have dubbed him “Great Satan” for his litany of rules and strict attitude towards the league, JaDavid is an average white guy who happens to be an accountant and is kinda, sorta (in a charming sort of way) afraid of big scary people that aren’t like him (ethnically). Member of the Board of Directors. Owner of the Woodlawn FC.
Bill: JaDavid’s right-hand man and a semi-respected voice among the league members. Bill is a father figure who is equal parts fun-loving dad and stern authoritarian. His word stands, whether you choose to go along with it or not. The fourth and final member of the Board of Directors. Owner of the Hobrauhaus Homies.
Juan: A fantasy football nerd that has a penchant for overvaluing his players and overscrutinizing every fantasy football-related decision he makes. Remains active in the league, but not to the degree of Alex, Pete, JaDavid, Bill, or Thabo Sefelosha. Provides the occasional message board drop-in that often times gets overlooked. Owner of the 45th Street Pub Crawlers.
Leonard: The younger brother of JaDavid who is the source of much amusement to his fellow leaguemates. Leonard attends Washington State University and fully embraces the culture of a party school. He has a tendency to drink a fair amount, wake up in unfamiliar locales, and just generally enjoy life to its absolute fullest. Is the complete opposite of his older brother in nearly every way, but provides the occasional moment of hilarity for those of us within the league. Owner of the Karma City Kings.
Wong Li: A completely irrelevant member of the league. Owner of the Westside Erectors.
Horatio Sanz: A manic presence in the league who is extremely active at certain times, but completely absent at others. Makes only a brief appearance in the transcript, and not until the very end. A fun-loving, happy-go-lucky type who is generally well-liked by all members of the league. Owner of the Covington Tsunami.
Rex: The league pariah, Rex is only a part of the PFL on paper. He moved to Nevada a short time ago and barely maintains any connection with the league or its owners. Rex is only kept around because his team sucks and he pays the entry fee. But this year, Rex’s squad has managed to win a few games, which is pissing everyone else off. The subject of a continuous message board thread loosely titled 1,000 Reasons Why Rex Loves Men, Rex endures constant abuse from his leaguemates which he soundly ignores. Owner of the Detroit Hitmen.
Jessica: The 12th man of the PFL, Jessica is basically regarded as everyone’s little brother despite the fact that he is the same age as Leonard and is not related to anyone in the league. Jessica manages to put up with a good amount of taunting from his leaguemates and is a fairly knowledgeable presence that will never get the credit he deserves. Jessica makes no appearances in the transcript and rarely pipes up on the league message board out of fear of receiving a virtual noogie for whatever useless jibber-jabber he has to expunge. Owner of Team Worst Name Ever.
So there’s your synopsis. Below is the transcript. If you’ve stuck with us through all of that, you might as well read on.
The following is completely uncensored. No spelling or grammar corrections have been executed, expletives are in place, and nothing has been omitted. For clarity, side notes have been added in brackets within the text. Enjoy.
In a new weekly installment we will be examining the weekly crap moves of teams in the PFL. Dont take this as an insult since Im sure Ill put myself on this poll/list with 5games to go in the season and Ive deserved to be on the list before. But for this week we are taking a look at the moves made by The Bastards and Ice Cream City.
Bastards bye week pickups – reasons you dont draft a kicker in rnd (whatever the hell rnd you took him it was still to early) Mid rnd draft pick Gostowski (sp?) was cut this past week so that K Josh Scobee from the Jaguars could join the Bastards… This paid off with a whopping -2pts. Meaning that Thabo Sefelosha would have been better just leaving his bye week K in that position.
Steven Jackson – Ice Cream City still would not have won this game with Jackson in the lineup but it is puzzling that first rnd keeper Steven Jackson was on the bench. Remember you could still have Pierre Thomas in the last rnd… Jackson is one of the few backs in the league who still gets the ball when his team is down. Why? Who the hell else is going to get it on the Rams?! There is some logic in rolling with BOTH RBs from the Dolphins, like I said, some.
So vote for this weeks Crappy Movers and Shakers.
Who stunk the lineup this week?
Thabo Sefelosha and love child Josh Scobee (3 votes)
Gorman and his hatred for blacks not located in Miami* (7 votes)
Total Votes: 10 (One per Owner)
In defense of my decision. Both williams and brown had outscored jackson up until this game. Jackson did not have a single touchdown until this week. Williams and Brown had a combined 13 touchdowns.
The last time miami played the jets williams and brown had a combined 33 points.
Many people will argue that Jackson is the workhorse for the rams…which he is…however, williams and brown are also the workhorses for miami (as their qb sucks) and have totally outproduced Jackson.
The only argument people have is that Jackson was playing the lions…and it is a good argument. It was a hard decision to make but looking at the production totals i had to go with the miami tandem.
I dont think it was a bad decision becuase up until this week no one could have argued the effectiveness of these two backs.
You can’t call it a crappy move because no one knows how they are going to score. For example, Slaton had been doing very well this year, however, he got Bill -1 points. No one could have predicted this and Bill started him because of how well he had been doing up until this week, just like i started my guys.
I gotta say the “playing the Lions” argument outweighs all the others. You have to play any RB against that bad of a run defense.
By contrast, the Jets have a pretty good run defense and only give up 108 rushing yards per game. You’d have to think twice about playing one RB against the Jets D, let alone two.
What do you mean you would have to think twice about playing them against the jets. did you read what i wrote? The last time they played the jets they score a combined 33 points. That is an average of 16.5 points each. Jackson had not scored 16.5 points once since this week.
Playing the lions argument does not outweigh the others.
Detroit is actually ranked with the 18th best run defense. That is a little worse than average but not terrible.
Jackson has played two teams with worse run defenses than detroit and still did not score 16.5 points.
Arguement destroyed! :)
One week’s outcome (first Jets-Fins game) does not guarantee that the next meeting of those same teams will have the same result (next Jets-Fins game).
1. AP vs. GB (1st game had 9 pts, 2nd game had 19 pts)
2. Sanchez vs. Miami (1st game 10, 2nd game 24)
3. Harvin vs. GB (1st game 3, 2nd game 16)
4. Miami RBs vs. Jets (1st game 33, 2nd game 8)
It’s not about the past (see Slaton, Steve), it’s about the future.
If in the first meeting you give up tons of points due to the run wouldn’t you think that is a point of emphasis during the week and key in on it.
well of course i think they would key on it, but i also thought that miami would adapt as well. which it appeared as if they didnt.
My entire arguement is not just based on how many points they scored the 1st meeting. That is one of a few points. The others being williams and brown both had more points than jackson and that jackson had not even seen the endzone once. Another point would be williams and brown are miami’s go to guys. Their QB (henne) is rarely even used. He is actually still a free agent in this league. i figured that any points miami scores would have come from these two guys.
Bill you make a good point but i think that i could also find some players that had great games against teams the 1st meeting and then also in the 2nd meeting.
Gorman – I understand your argument, and I recognize that all us of make wrong roster moves during the course of a season, I just agree with Alex that playing against the Lions (especially for a winless team), provides an extremely good opportunity.
Basically, when I saw your starting lineup before the week started, I was glad you benched Jackson, which to me implies I wouldn’t have done the same; therefore, I believe it was a bad move (not just in hindsight).
You can’t honestly believe that Miami would have adapted. They’re a poorly-coached team that is in complete disarray to the point that they demoted their No. 1 wideout to special teams.
On top of that, Ronnie Brown takes about as many snaps at QB as the actual QB, and there is absolutely no one on this entire team to throw the ball to. No one.
That said, despite the fact that they’re a one-trick pony offense, they face some pretty shitty defenses the rest of the way. With the exception of New England twice and Pittsburgh in Week 17 (which won’t even matter for the purposes of our league), Miami has a pretty easy schedule for the running backs to accumulate points.
Yea I gotta go against you on this Gorman. Problem is what you didnt take into account is the NY Jets Coach. Rex Ryan is a DEF mastermind and wont let the wildcat beat him twice. The Patriots were killed by the wildcat last year when Ronnie Brown exploded. The second time they met he was contained. Coaching should be taken into account at all times.
Like Alex said the Dolphins offense is all screwed up right now and the Jets have the ability to stack the box and use Revis, Rhodes and their secondary shutdown whatever joker is at WR for the Phins.
i think something you guys did not consider in your arguments is that the lions run d is not that bad. Everything thinks, “oh lions, they are terrible,” but there run defense is not. The lions D has only given up 6 touchdowns this year! That is less than one a game. Take for instance the giants D, they have given up 12. They are supposed to me much better, typically ranked as the number 2 D when drafting.
I think your arguments that i made such an obvious wrong move to start him against the Lions shows that none of you really knew that much about their D. The lions give up 118 yards rushing a game. There are 11 teams in the NFL who give up more. 11 teams have give also given up more touchdowns.
These arguments make me think you all thought the lions were the worst run defense team in the NFL, which they are completely not.
When i talked about adapting i should have also mentioned that if Miami was unable to adapt then an argument could be made that if they were able to dominate the first meeting why not the second.
To address Rex Ryan’s coaching. The jets run D is actually ranked worse than Detroits right now according to ESPN. They give up 108 yards a game. A measly 10 less than Detroit. How could anyone say the Jets are much better? If you said Pitt is a lot better than i would belive you. They give up 76 yards a game. That is a strong difference.
Alex says Miamis has a poorly coached team. They may be with their 3 and 4 record…but wait!!!! The jets are only 4 and 4. Not really a powerhouse huh?
This point makes me think that all of you have overrated the Jets and did not know much about their team. If Rex Ryan is a Def mastermind wouldn’t ESPN rank their team in at least the top 20?
Something else that has not been addressed in this conversation is Ted Ginn. Who in the world would have predicted he would have returned 2 kick returns? No one. When he did this he took many many attempts away from Brown and Williams to run the ball becuase they were on the field a lot less. If he did not do something that hardly ever is done Williams and Brown would have produced much more.
Those are all valid, fair points. I like the back and forth here because I think both sides are presenting a strong argument.
If you really want to get picky about it, the Lions’ 118 rush yards allowed is still greater than the Jets’ 108 rush yards allowed, but that’s not the crux of the issue here.
The thing is, I think you might have just overthought it a bit. If I see anyone at all taking on the Rams or the Lions, I play them. Especially running backs, because you figure that once the opposing team gets ahead of the Rams or Lions (made slightly more difficult based on the fact that those two teams were playing each other this week, though the Vegas line heavily favored the Rams) they’ll start to run the ball and control the tempo. That’s basically what happened with Jackson and St. Louis.
Plus, the appealing thing about Jackson is that he’s the ONLY guy in St. Louis. Even if he’s struggling, you know he’s going to get 90% of the carries in any given game because the Rams have no one else to turn to.
Brown and Williams, in turn, only equate to one workhorse back since they share the load in Miami.
I can see where you’d get hung up in making your decision. In other leagues, I’ve had the same issue debating who to play between Steve Smith (NYG) and Mario Manningham. In any given week they’re projected for similar point totals and you just know that one of them is going to go off while the other likely suffers as a result.
That’s kind of how it is if you own both Brown and Williams. You might as well roll the dice to decide which one you’re going to play, because they’ll split the carries and you never know who will get the goal-line touches. In starting both of them, however, you’re almost sacrificing a roster spot because they essentially become one solitary back in their rotation of the carries. I mean, you can only carry the ball so many times in a game no matter how many backs you have.
Gorman what youre not looking at is that the Lions really have had fluke success against the run.
Game 1 – They gave up a ton of yards to Bill Bell who just couldnt get in the endzone because Drew Brees was tossing 6TDs
Game 2 – AP only had one TD and like 15carries because the Vikings had no problems putting up points
Game 3 – Clinton Portis and the Redskins have sucked this year
Game 4 – Matt Forte has sucked this year and he still scored, probably wouldve scored more had the Bears DEF not gone insane
Game 5 – Pit for some reason has become a passing team
Game 6 – Ryan Grant carved up the Lions
I dont think by starting both of them you are sacrificing a spot becuase they have both done so good. Yes one usually does better but they both produce. Before this week they were both top 10 backs in terms of points. I think i need to emphasize that. BOTH TOP TEN BACKS. 13 touchdowns combined (one with 6 the other 7). They both score and are capable of scoring a lot. There is no way that is sacrificing a spot.
You can’t compare it that closely to starting manningham and smith becuase the giants have many other people who can score (nicks, jacobs, manning, etc). Miami has williams and brown, thats it. That is why they are the number 1 rushing team in the league.
Pete – you are arguing against one factor in the decision. There are about 5 factors considered in making the decision.
“You can’t compare it that closely to starting manningham and smith becuase the giants have many other people who can score (nicks, jacobs, manning, etc).”
what the hell? Is Manning going to throw the ball to himself? Manning finishes the game with 8rec 90recyds and 19carries for 120yds and 5TDs….
“Miami has williams and brown, thats it.”
Ted Ginn would argue with his 2td’s, thats 2 more then Williams and Brown had.
Gorman – No I am showing you one reason that the Lions havent been run on as much. I think the other reasons were already well stated by Alex and Bill.
You overthought it pure and simple
You all underthought it. It sounds as if you guys had no idea how well the jets and the lions D is. You just thought “against the lions?” okay.
Pete in your attempt to show the fluke of the lions run D you actually showed the opposite. Three good backs (mendenhall, Portis, Forte) did not produce against the Lions. That easily shows that just because you are playing them does not mean that you are giong to run all over them.
I feel like all of my arguments are fact based when you guys use speculation.
I am like fucking Glenn Beck and you guys are the Obama administration. You all just used fear-mongering and smoke and mirrors to make points. I provide arguments that can be backed by observable production, not just, “well he is playing the lions.”
13 combined tds vs 0. You can’t argue that.
Some points you guys have brought up are good but you guys act as if it was an obvious decision. If it was obvious then you do not know what you are talking about. It was a decision that could have gone either way but was not obvious on either side.
Text from Pete:
“Do you think Gorman believes half the crap he’s typing? I do and it makes me wonder how he’s built a good team”
what in the world have i typed that has been wrong? I use stats and production to make points not opinion.
the only argument produced by you guys is the lions are bad. I think i have effectively proven they are not as bad as you all thought and that the Jets are not as good as you all thought making my decision not as obvious as everyone thought.
I’m not taking sides on this, and I hate to intervene because it has been so entertaining reading the back and forth, but my favorite fantasy website predicted the following for last week:
Steve Jackson – 18
Ronnie Brown – 16
Ricky Williams – 6
I am remaining neutral (Go Switzerland!) in this argument, but I wanted to throw about another piece of information. Hopefully this allows the argument to continue for another few days.
“Pete in your attempt to show the fluke of the lions run D you actually showed the opposite. Three good backs (mendenhall, Portis, Forte) did not produce against the Lions.”
Huh? Mendenhall isnt quite yet in the “good” back category I would argue. Portis sucks this year. And are we talking about the same Matt Forte Juan has been trying to pimp out and was shutdown against the Seahawks?
“I am like fucking Glenn Beck”
Glenn Beck is the biggest idiot America has had to deal with on a national scene is quite some time, I am including GW in that argument. He promotes hate and uses his emotional roster coaster to brain wash generations of idiots. The man obviously has identity issues, Im sure he is dealing with his own sexuality while attacking others. Glenn Beck is as monumental a failure for the human race as organized religion. Glenn Beck is right up there with the worst things to happen to America in the last few years with Sarah Palin being given a voice and being allowed to leave Alaska.
Oh and Switzerland sucks and I didnt vote for Obama. Go Nader
You obviously do not watch Glenn Beck or know anything about what he promotes. He does not promote hate! He calls things like they are. To say that means you have done zero research on him. Now i am sure you are going to scour google and try to fine some kind of quote that shows different but anybody can do that about any topic anywhere. See:
“The smart pick, according to Nader, is Hillary Rodham Clinton”
““He just has to swallow hard and do what JFK did”
You also wrote, “monumental a failure for the human race as organized religion” what do you mean? You saying organized religion is bad? I thought you were a christian…
JaDavid your favorite fantasy website showed those predictions but espn did not. I typically do not look at other websites and average things out. It appears that neither did the other guys.
Its easy for you to say “portis sucks this year,” but thats probably becuase he had to play the lions. Even if you do not think mendenhall is good that still shows three running backs who were unable to do anything against the lions. Jackson is a guy who has run the ball well this year but had not found the endzone once! To me that shows that he is dealing with much more than himself. His crappy team could not even get him there. You immediately thinking Jackson would blow up shows you were only using pre-conceived notions to base your opinion. Nothing factual. This goes for the other guys too.
Again…the jets are not some amazing run stopping team! If you guys thought this then you did not do research!
This is amazing. There is as much chance that Gorman can convince me that he made a good decision as there is for me to be sober every night for an out of town training… slim to none.
awesome glenn beck reference Pete
wow someone backs glenn beck, amazing
Bill!!!!! :) You have no argument either! You have not proven anything for your argument. “Well i would have started Jackson so I am always right and no one can say anything different” Direct quote from Bill.
That is the Bill rule. If he would have started someone then it is right although he has no reason for why. “Lions suck so there, wah!” Another quote. Touchdowns dont matter, points dont matter, knowledge of defenses dont matter, past games history dont matter, i could go on. Bill rule.
Many people back Glenn Beck. That is not that outrageous. He is actually very popular.
Juan – are you lost? Awesome glenn beck reference and then wow someone backs glenn beck. Your initial post made me think you liked him and then your second post was like, “hey wait, pete doesnt like him so i dont either.” I was surprised that you had even heard of him.
I liked Pete’s post ripping him and then read your post and you supported him so I made the post being shocked that anyone likes him.
Why wouldn’t I have heard of him? Do I live under a rock? Or are you trying to say I am uneducated?
I am not even arguing with you, don’t take your frustration out on me.
the comment spawned from a ball of anger growing inside me. After i made the comment i then punched my cat, spit on the TV, and kicked a statue of a lion.
I am however shocked that you dont think people like him. He is a local guy who has written like 6 bestsellers. I guess you are one for universal health care and/or an Obama lover?
I understand, I just don’t like anyone on Fox News and also don’t think his comment stating that “Barack Obama was a racist who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture.” was way out of line.
I just don’t like news people in general because half the stuff coming out of their mouth is unsubstantiated crap.
I love the direct “quote.” That sounds just like a police officer who is ready to convict me before hearing my argument. I don’t need to express any more of the reasons why I would have started Jackson because this is America! I have every right to make my own decisions and share what I choose with you.
You’re wrong. I will enjoy that fact that you made the wrong roster move as I played against you and I benefited from your roster blunder. Normally I would just say “I’ll leave it at that,” but I’m going to refrain from including that statement because I’m enjoying the comedy of this thread and don’t want it to end. The only way this could get better would be if Rex actually got involved. For now, I’ll just enjoy the easy win and this comedic debate.
Side note: the cop who handled the [Ryan] Moats situation handled it wrong. He wasn’t completely out of line, but he could have acted in a much better manner given the circumstances.
*Editor’s Note: In a different thread on the league message board, the infamous Ryan Moats scandal was referenced after Moats’ breakout performance in last week’s game. Being an officer of the law, Gorman weighed in with the following:
“Harassed by cops!? If he would have went along with the program he would have been out of there twice as fast. The cop didnt know his mom was dying, sure i am sure he told him that but we can almost never beleive people when they are tyring to get out of a ticket. I konw some will argue that he was in the hospital parking lot but so what. people will say anything to get out of a ticket. If his family yelled at me like his one relative did i would have kept him there just as long. i thought the cop did a great job with him. fuck moats”
Video of the Ryan Moats incident:
Yes I believe that organized religion is a monumental failure for mankind. It has done some good with architecture and other works of art with certain good things done in mission or organized goodwill type activities.
That however is washed away by the hate and negativety that is spawned because
A) Gay people want equal rights. Read the constitution it states that all people are created. All People; gay, black, white, whatever. And that all people should be afforded equal rights.
B) Religious intolerance. The brainwashing spawned by large factions of the mormon church and other christian sects has ruined the advancement of mankind in the scientific field. I might disagree with abortion but why the hell cant we have stem cell research? Because an Ex-Nazi anti-aircraft gunner in Rome said so?
C) Organized Religions ability to twist and bend scripture so that it fits their will not Gods. Thats capital G more on that to come.
D) Whose to say that there is only one way and that all other ideas are crazy and wrong?
– Early Israeli’s were actually more towards Polytheistic believing in Eloheim and eloheim. Ill break down the difference more late if you want, but think big God and little gods. Its in this that God (Christian God, YHWH) was the top tier (much like Zeus) in a hierarchy of gods/eloheim. If you want scripture that supports this I can do more with that when I get back from school.
Yes I am a “Christian” but only because I was born in America. I believe almost all religions have some amount of truth to them, I have no problem with almost any faith until it promotes hatred and intolerance which organized religion tends to lead itself to.
Glen Beck is an idiot because he promotes ideological/political intolerance saying that only his/republican way is the correct way. Like all major news affiliates Fox is heavily biased like its reporters. He does not “tell it like it is” he tells it how he sees it and how his view slants that perception. Just because you write a book doesnt make you a genius.
well I ran out of space on that one but here is your argument against the Lions. BTW they didnt really hold anyone in check. The fact that teams take mercy on them held RB’s in check. Mendenhall wasnt really held in check.
Following your logic and argument this is what should be done
I have Chris Johnson/Adrian Peterson/Top RB (NOT ON THE DOLPHINS) playing the Cheifs. Hmmm I should bench them this week because the Cheifs kept LT in check…
Since I couldnt let this one pass…
“Or are you trying to say I am uneducated? “
Well WSU doesnt have the best track record Juan…
That said its probably a higher education level then most cops….
This quote from Gorman has been overlooked:
“Its easy for you to say “portis sucks this year,” but thats probably becuase he had to play the lions.”
There really are no words for this.
Oh man I missed that one. HAHA
Ya I kind of sent you a lob ball ally oop on that one
Bill you know nothing about police procedure or life outside your own. Your comment saying you will sit back and continue to watch the comedic debate is your easy way of staying out of the discussion because you are wrong. You saying you wont prove why your are right is equivalent to saying you cant.
You bringing up the police thing is absurd. It has nothing to do with this blog and was a slight towards me because you dont have an argument about Jackson. You are an idiot to not know anything about the police world and then throw in how a cop could have done something better. It is lunacy. It would be like a bum coming into your office and saying you are doing some addition/subtraction method wrong. I really want to argue this more but i cant argue something to someone who has no knowledge on a topic.
After this why dont you go tell Pete about how to shoot an M16.
In my job i have seen murder, suicide, terrible assaults against husbands/wives, terrible DUI accidents in which people have been violently thrown from cars, the mass effects of drugs on people, homeless, mentals, broke woman with 5 children all from different fathers unable to find a roof over their heads, i have fought with people who wanted to hurt me, seen children with no parents, and i have put away many many bad people who would want to hurt/steal from you.
You are a fucking idiot to bring that up. You work in a fucking office with no idea how other people live. You are not helping anyone. You have a extreme superiority complex. You are right this is American so you are free to continue to do what you want. I also think that was stupid to bring up in a blog about running backs.
Alex – about portis that was sarcasm.
Pete – why the fuck would you bring up an education level above most cops. If you want to say you think Juan is smarter than me fine, dont try to hide it and be clever about it.
Pete – You argument about organized religion is fine because it is your opinion. I as well consider myself to be a Christian and a god-l
It would have been better if that comment about Portis wasn’t sarcasm but was in fact the truth. I would appreciate it more. Please retract your statement about it being sarcasm.
Also, I realize that you got cut off in your most recent reply, Gorman, but from where it leaves off it looks like God-I, like the ‘l’ is an “I”. This of course made me think of a new formation in football called the God-I. I really can’t picture anyone losing in the God-I formation. It’s like the Power-I, only with God in the backfield, which is akin to fornicating with a four-foot long penis.
Pete did you intend for your initial post to start all of this? If so, you are a genius!
alex you are right it did cut off about a paragraph that was intended for pete. it basically said that we should discuss that topic (God) outside of this format becuase i think it would be good
This is amazing. I have had the busiest, craziest day of work in quite some time and I didn’t get to see this until just now. It’s nice that some people can make themselves look like a complete ass and not even realize they are doing it–even launching into personal attacks on others that further their set back the validity of their argument in an attempt to make themselves feel more right. Gold! We have the best fantasy football league ever!
Gorman – Obviously I pushed your buttons on this, so I will explain my intentions.
“You saying you wont prove why your are right is equivalent to saying you cant.”
I don’t need to repeat the many arguments that have already been made. You made a decision based on what you believed would happen. I believe that decision was based on factual information that was interpreted wrong by you. It was a high risk, high reward situation to start the Dolphins RBs and sitting Jackson and you lost out.
“I really want to argue this more but i cant argue something to someone who has no knowledge on a topic.”
I will never argue that I know more about being a cop than you. That was not my intent by including a reference to the Moats situation. (Note: This was a topic discussed on a prior thread, I just didn’t respond to it there, which apparently was a mistake since you’re already on the defensive in this thread). It’s important to remember that there are checks and balances in our society for a reason. Just because I have never been President of the U.S. doesn’t mean that I cannot critique something that he has or has not done. The is same for a police officer, a referee, and any profession. Sometimes it takes someone outside of the actual moment/job/situation to look at it from an objective point of view. For example, I don’t know how to shoot an M16, but if Pete was to shoot it into a crowd, I can still use common sense to tell him that he shouldn’t do that.
“You are a fucking idiot to bring that up. You work in a fucking office with no idea how other people live. You are not helping anyone. You have a extreme superiority complex. You are right this is American so you are free to continue to do what you want.”
This was out of line. If I thought you were joking and/or being sarcastic, I would laugh it off, which I did at first, but after reading this a few times, I came to the conclusion that you were being completely serious and attacked me personally, wh
ich is not what I did by commenting on the actions of a police officer in Texas.
“I also think that was stupid to bring up in a blog about running backs.”
I will leave you with a smart ass comment… Ryan Moats IS a running back.
that comment you left with is not really smart ass becuase i was referring to you bringing up a police issue on the topic of setting a fantasy football line-up with running backs. So your smart ass comment is not really that at all.
You knew that you would get a rise out of me by bringing that topic up. There is no reason why you would have arbitrarily put it at then end of a thread when that could not have been farther away from what we were talking about. You passively took a dig at me by putting it there and then act innocent like you did nothing wrong. Kind of what Thabo Sefelosha did the entire league last year and it looks like it is starting again.
What a fucking joke Thabo Sefelosha…really?
You email me a couple weeks ago about wanting to meet me to talk or whatever, i email you back and then you write that comment. Wow. Seriously, how much longer are you going to do this. I guess that short man complex never goes away…see, i can do it to. I dont like the kind of person i am when i make those comments but i am not going to sit here and take them from you.
Bill you thought i was out of line, i thought you were out of line. I responded as appropriate. I may not have been right but neither were you.
I’m just going to go out on a limb and say that in the past week, Pete and I have succeeded in getting more active participation on the message boards from everyone.
Reading this on my phone doesn’t do it justice, can’t wait to get home
Gorman I know most cops have a decent amount of inteligence, just wanted to push your buttons some more
Hey guys, how’s it going? Hey how come nobody ever makes comments at me?
Yea, I emailed you a couple weeks ago because I thought it was something serious enough that it merited setting aside time and treating it as serious. Your response (which took a long-assed time to write given it was a couple lines and lacked punctuation) clearly indicated that you don’t take the matter as seriously as I do. Because of that I decided I’ve come to terms with it and have forgiven you for what you did, but as a person I don’t think you are worth pursuing a friendship with.
It’s funny that you come up with short man/size-related comments all the time when your actions show you are clearly the lesser man. Enjoy your authoritarian rule over society and continue to lean on it as a crutch of respect because based upon the way you interact with people you are never going to actually earn legit respect from anybody.
show some love guys
“that comment you left with is not really smart ass becuase i was referring to you bringing up a police issue on the topic of setting a fantasy football line-up with running backs. So your smart ass comment is not really that at all.”
I will agree to disagree rather than argue about this because that’s not the crux of the issue.
“You knew that you would get a rise out of me by bringing that topic up.”
I will again refer back to the fact that the Ryan Moats situation was previously discussed on another message board topic. Alex brought it up followed by you responding to it with your opinion. My mistake was not responding to it in that thread because as I said before, you are on the defensive about the Jackson/Williams situation that spawned this thread.
I did not include it as an attack on you and did not intend it to “get a rise out of you.” My intention was to point out that I disagree with your assessment of the how the police officer handled it, which you had already included on this fantasy football board.
We also rarely stay in topic on this league board, but in this case, I should have just responded in the other thread. My bad.
Wong Li – we don’t make comments “at you” because you’re irrelevant to this league. Boom! Roasted!
I think i’ve effectively built interest for my matchup [against Gorman] this week. Effective marketing!
Ouch Bill, I’m going to cry now like I did watching Marly and Me last night. :-(
boom goes the dynamite, Wong Li you have been served by Bill
Bill i appreciate that. I was out of line in my previous comments. I went to a place that i should not have gone to. I apologize to you and do not actually believe what i wrote.
Thabo Sefelosha you are a little piece of shit. You wrote that you wanted to have coffee with me. Of course i did not want to have coffee with you so i suggested talking when we are in a guy setting with other friends around. I understood that you had things to say to me and i was going to appease. I don’t and have not ever had anything to say to you. From what i read your feelings are a little hurt because i did not respond within your accepted time response. My goodness. You fucking girl. I am sorry i did not treat your email as priority 1.
When you talk about my actions you need to remember that i have never started anything with you. I have only defended myself. I have never been the instigator with you. when pushed i will push back. What actions show i am the lesser man? If it were not for you comments i would never have said anything about you.
If you do not write anything about me i will not write anything about you. I have no ill feelings against you. I will continue to stay neutral unless you proceed. Meaning we should both continue living with no ill feelings or mean things to say about the other. (i called you a few names in this thread because you called me out earlier…insults even)
You just need to find a happy place.
Rex’s happy place is behind Pete
Lets all be Swiss
I said coffee or a beer… you had a problem with getting a beer, but you want to talk when people are around? That makes no sense.
You honestly said you have never started anything with me. Think about that for a minute, ask somebody else about that statement, just do whatever you gotta do to get your fucking head right and realize you wronged me in a way that nobody else has in my entire life. You betrayed my friendship in a way that makes “When you talk about my actions you need to remember that i have never started anything with you.” one of the most sadly laughable statements I’ve ever read.
I don’t have to call you names, I can just point out the things you have done to berate you as a man. You have to do the name calling and point out I’m not as tall as other people to try and lob an insult. You can write back whatever you want, and I’ll probably respond because although I’m over what you have done, I hate you with a passion that I can’t put into words. I thought that may have abated, but after your renewed obsession with childish insults like “piece of shit” and “small man syndrome”, I think it’s back with the same vigor.
Lastly, for “What actions show i am the lesser man?”. Did you not read what you said to Bill earlier in this thread. I didn’t say that actions directed at me show you are a lesser man, I was referring to your actions in general. Notice how I didn’t call you any names, I just pointed out your actions. Think about that.
Your actions show you are small. You need to make up your mind. One day you want to have coffee with me and the next you hate me more than anything. Thats funny to me. Maybe next week you will want to see a movie?
You two need to cuddle, that solves everything
There’s really no way any of us can intervene in what you two are fighting about, because only you two know the entirety of your situation.
I will say this though, if you’re gonna fight about it on message boards, then both of you are to blame. You either need to talk your shit out face to face or let it go. Both of you. Don’t point fingers at each other. Figure out what you can do to move past this on your own, or simply be pissed at each other and live with your anger.
As entertaining as it is (in a car crash sort of way) to read the crap you two dish at each other from time to time, neither one of you is innocent in this war of words. You’re being childish, and that’s coming from me, a child in a husky man’s body.
fantastic post, Ill try to catchup
Juan – No Juan Im like a dog chasing a car I wouldnt know what to do with it if I caught it. I just try to be an “agent of chaos” if you will.
Bill – I dont think you said anything to me
Wong Li – Like Bill said your basically irrelevant, heck you probably wont even read this like you wont answer my attempts to trade with you.
JaDavid – Switzerland sucks, Just had to reiterate that point
Bill – On a 2nd go through, whats wrong with firing into a crowd?….
Thabo Sefelosha – Anger is a path to the darkside
Gorman – Anakin Skywalker got worked in Star Wars on multiple occasions
Not as funny as I wouldve liked but Im short on time
This entire thread is worthy of publication for the entire public to see.
Should the contents of this thread, in their entirety, be published for all to see?
Yes* (6 votes)
No (3 votes)
Total Votes: 9 (One per Owner)
“You’re being childish, and that’s coming from me, a child in a husky man’s body.”
Alex – Are you just saying that you’re big boned?
To end everybody suspense, I will hate him [Gorman] for all eternity. I thought that could change for the sake of my friends, but it can’t, and never will. Now it’s time for the Bastards to go out and win one for the gipper!
Hates a strong word. Maybe just really dislike. That sounds better and does not put foul language in your mouth or on your keyboard. Try that. Eternity is also a long time. How about maybe just say like 20 years.
I was going to congratulate you for being more direct and going straight at me but that last posts shows you shying away again. See, for someone who is not in the know you could be talking about hating anyone for eternity, they might not know you are talking about me. Oh well, you were close.
If a fantasy football win will make you feel better than i hope you do win. Good luck this week.
this is absolutely insane.
“Hates a strong word. Maybe just really dislike. That sounds better and does not put foul language in your mouth or on your keyboard. Try that. Eternity is also a long time. How about maybe just say like 20 years.”
You typed a great deal of strong words today. Congratulations. To be clear, I hate you. You are the only person on this Earth with that distinction. Eternity is a long time, but I will do my best, to hate you through all of it.
“I was going to congratulate you for being more direct and going straight at me but that last posts shows you shying away again.”
I really don’t know what this means, but to be clear, you = Gorman. I was not shying away, but not resorting to endless name calling like you choose to. I can only make my point that you do nothing to warrant respect in so many ways before I start repeating myself, so I felt it was time to abate things.
“See, for someone who is not in the know you could be talking about hating anyone for eternity, they might not know you are talking about me. Oh well, you were close.”
Everybody in this board is in the know, so I’m not quite sure what you’re getting at here. I know you assumed it was you because if you look at my first post in this thread–the one that got you to start calling me names–it was not even explicitly directed at you. Multiple people were arguing, and you not only assumed it was you (which, let’s be honest, it was because I fucking hate you), but you decided to take it much further than I had and attack me personally.
I hope I have been clear in what I’m trying to say. If you need further clarification, you should ask somebody else in this thread. While you’re at it, ask them if they think you have every wronged me. Apparently, you will be surprised at the response.
Has Gorman wronged me in the past?
He probably saved you in the long run
(One vote per Owner)
there you go big guy. Get all this out on a thread. Make a poll about it. Honestly big guy that was hilarious. This has actually turned into fun for me. I love how you get out your little pent up anger against me this way. You are like an emotional roller coaster. Love, hate, friendship, betrayal. Seriously a daytime soap opera you are putting together. You are like a teenager girl in junior high getting her period. What an emotional wreck.
Regarding the poll i freakin loved it. I voted actually. You really think a fantasy poll makes things concrete in your real life. If so awesome.
Remember you attacked me personally first when you called me an ass. This never would have started without that post. Maybe it was good though for you, this has turned out to be a little counseling session for you, maybe with more polls you can decide how other areas in your life are going.
This is fun for me too… maybe you’re missing that. Speaking of soap operas, look at what you did to make me hate you. You never even came to me after years of pretending to be a friend and now you have nothing to say to me. That’s at least the type of shit you apologize over, but whatever dude. You are obtuse and I can understand that–it fits with how you presented your argument on the Moats thing as though your opinion is the end-all.
I tried to relieve my anger in other ways, like trying to get you to box, or trying to get you to grab a drink so we could talk it out, but those didn’t work out, so now I can give you crap here. The poll was fun. I was sitting with Horatio Sanz laughing aloud as I put that post together.
You guys definitely need a different forum for this
So I went through this massive thread rereading it for a couple purposes. (1) To see who is at fault. (2) To explore some impressive vocabulary that was used.
1. Pete is to blame.
“Dont take this as an insult”
Clearly this is a prime example of reverse psychology. Pete, had you said “Please take this as an insult” then maybe we would all be in a happy place.
2. I made a list of impressive (and not-so-impressive) words used by each person through the thread. Please feel free to add to the list if I’ve missed something.
Gorman: outproduced, fear-mongering, spawned, instigator
Juan: lob ball ally oop, dynamite, cuddle
Bill: hindsight, blunder
Alex: God-I, fornicating, Thabo Sefelosha
Pete: pimp out, polytheistic, vag cream
Thabo Sefelosha: authoritarian
Wong Li: hey, me, cry
JaDavid you forgot appease and arbitrarily, i would like those added
Don’t forget about:
I used unsubstantiated followed by crap
I think Fantasy Football shirts should be made that say
“portis sucks this year, but thats probably becuase he had to play the lions”
I will gladly shoulder the responsibility for possibly the greatest fantasy post ever
“Pete’s wife commented on Pete’s post: I feel this is an an appropriate time to advise the PFL that when we have a first born, it will NEVER be eligible for a trade for first round picks or keepers. Let the PFL rules show that future children are not bargaining chips. Thank you. ”
*Editor’s Note: The above quote was taken from Facebook. The name of Pete’s wife has been censored to protect Pete’s wife’s identity. I mean, think about it. Would you want the world to know you were married to this guy?
I just had to add this because I think it is funny as shit.
That is all.
Oh and some great information on this post
Average PFL thread gets maybe 6-7replies. The 2nd longest thread in this league is at 25replies.
This thread currently has 85replies including this one going
I now only need to figure out how to continue it…
Pete’s wife wont let the first born go for Adrian Peterson?
What about naming rights for children?
I, for one, would love the opportunity to name one of Pete’s children Ronnie Brown Lawrence or JaReggie Lawrence.
She might let the first born go for Peterson and picks.
Im fine with the naming rights
Japeter De’Marquise Lawrence
Where did Leonard get that quote?
I wanna throw a La or Ja in front of the most white name imaginable and then add a ‘D at the end (ala Noble’D on CWU’s bball squad)… so…
JaLucas’D Paul Lawrence
Its on my facebook page JaDavid
Spelling = La-a. Pronunciation = LaDasha
JaJordeson Lawrence. Book it.
JaDavid is trying to bring back the more entertaining side of this post…
Should we be discussing the naming rights to Gorman’s future first child instead?
That being said…….I bet Thabo Sefelosha would give up quite a squad for that power.
So guys….. What did I miss?
Seems like to many posts to actually read, can I get a re-cap?
Signed Indubitably (for the word list)
(Also too irrelevant to this league to be commented at!)