Because everyone could use another reason to despise Whoregon.
30. Chip Kelly. What a smug bastard.
29. The mascot. Even he can’t stay out of trouble.
28. Steve Prefontaine. There was something not quite right about that malnourished hippie.
27. Mac Court. An ugly, disease-infested building.
26. Animal cruelty charges. Duck on duck violence. We make an example out of Michael Vick, but give these guys a free pass. That’s messed up.
25. Their plethora of draft busts. If you’re a fan of a pro sports franchise and your team drafts a Duck, you might as well mail in the next five years.
24. Akili Smith. He was plain horrible. Just horrible. Franchise-murdering horrible.
23. This monstrosity. Scaring your children since 2007.
22. Richie Incognito, aka the guy who was sleazy enough to get into Oregon, but too sleazy to play.
21. Luke Bellotti. The part-time kicker and full-time drunk son of ex-head coach and current AD Mike Bellotti.
19. The cheerleaders. They’re fun to look at, but they’re basically fembots. Rumor has it that if you get with any of them they snap your penis off and then eat you after the sex, not unlike spiders.
18. Mark Few. He’s an Oregon alum, ya know.
17. Onterrio “The Whizzinator” Smith. You already know about his pee-pee machine scandal. You may not know that he just got arrested again.
16. These jerseys.
15. Daniel Levitin. Who? He’s a musician and Oregon alum who doubles as the sound designer for Chris Isaak. So it’s his fault that Chris Isaak is making music.
14. Second-hand Lukes. Take your pick: Jackson or Ridnour. Either way, you’re extremely disappointed.
13. These jerseys.
12. Green and yellow. The colors of vomit and piss, respectively.
11. These jerseys.
10. Autzen Stadium. The gateway to hell. Satan plays his home games here.
9. These jerseys.
8. The city of Eugene. A place that, when viewed from space, is simply a black mark on the globe.
7. The whole shady Nike relationship. Everything about Phil Knight’s support for his alma mater seems wrong. And yet there’s nothing we can do to stop it. This must be how the FCC feels when Family Guy is broadcast.
6. The logo. An ‘O.’ That’s the best you could do? Your fans can’t even form the logo with their hands. They can do triangles, squares, rectangles, seemingly every other shape. But ask them to form an ‘O” and they proudly display something that vaguely resembles an ‘A’.
5. These jerseys.
4. Ernie Kent. From extramarital affairs in Mexico to just generally being an ass, there are thousands upon millions of reasons to despise Ernesto.
2. Joey Harrington. Whether you’re from Seattle, Pullman, Corvallis, Palo Alto, Berkeley, Los Angeles, Tucson, Tempe, Detroit, Miami, Atlanta, or New Orleans, you know what I’m talking about.
1. The fans. Worst Fans in America. Hands down. From the iconic Pit Crew to the scum-of-the-earth alums that spew venomous taunts at opponents, there is little regard for human decency in and around the University of Oregon and no rhyme or reason for their behavior. Just bad breeding, I guess.