Well That Was Ugly

Washington Stanford FootballCongratulations to me, for watching the entirety of that massacre.

And that was after dropping $5.99 for the right to watch Fox’s Crappiest Station.

I think I’m gonna print off an invoice and send it to Chip Kelly, ask if he’ll reimburse me for my purchase. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Get out your checkbook, Chip.

The only bright spot from this evening is that we weren’t stuck with Barry Tompkins and Petros Papadakis on the call. Not that our broadcast crew was any better, or anything. You really think the University of Washington is in Bellevue? Nobody has ever made that mistake.

Oh, and sideline wench, stop trying to play up the fact that the Tree actually had living bodies in the crowd and they occasionally made some noise. That’s a 50,000-seat stadium that was dead empty most of the game. Those are some of the worst fans in sports, period, and it’s an indictment on every other sports fan around the globe when you make sh*t up about those future rocket scientists and their indifference towards athletics.

On top of that, I’m pretty sure I heard them chanting “Over-rated” towards the end of the game (I mean, I agree with your assessment, but it goes without saying) and there were at least one or two crowd shots of Stanford’s typical Asian fans who have spent years repressing emotions standing next to each other with intensely awkward sexual tension in between them. The kind of sexual tension that will ultimately result in one of them announcing before their family that they plan to drop out of medical school, give up the violin, and instead become the next William Hung. You know what I’m talking about.

And finally, f*ck Mark May for whatever Godawful assessment of this game he’ll come up with. Fact is, we didn’t show up to play and it was your classic letdown game. We looked like the 2008 Huskies and that’s something we never want to have to remember again. The 2008 Husky Football season is to Husky fans what World War II is to the Germans: sh*t never happened, we were on vacation, didn’t see anything, no witnesses, the history books are wrong. Just say all of that, Mark May, and I might garner an ounce of respect for your ass.

Also, Toby Gerhart is the greatest white running back in the history of football, and with any luck he’ll push LenDale “Plumpy” White out of a job next season. Peace, I’m out.

3 thoughts on “Well That Was Ugly”

  1. “…and there were at least one or two crowd shots of Stanford’s typical Asian fans who have spent years repressing emotions standing next to each other with intensely awkward sexual tension in between them.”

    You’ve been watching too much Harold and Kumar

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