Nick Montana Could Top Hugh Millen’s Scoring Record At UW

nickmontana2He’s the prized recruit of the school football team, boasts a name more suited for a pornstar, is the son of a millionaire Hall of Fame quarterback, and at 6’1″, 185 pounds, has the look of an Abercrombie and Fitch model.

Yep, I think it’s safe to say that when Nick Montana finally sets foot on the University of Washington campus in 2010, he will be seeing a lot of ass. We’re talking Wilt Chamberlain numbers.

I don’t know what the record is for most hook-ups in the history of the University of Washington, but I have a feeling that Nick Montana could top it if he so chooses.

Perhaps a good point of reference for such a statistic would be former Husky QB Hugh “Breedlove” Millen, the Jake Locker of his day, who starred for UW in the early 1980s.

Millen once recounted a story on local radio in which he was sitting on a couch with a female student who proclaimed that she “couldn’t believe she was on a date with Hugh Millen.”

Like the king pimp of Pimptropolis, Millen simply replied, “Believe it, baby.”

If Montana needs advice on how to handle the flock of young women that will inevitably show up naked outside his dorm room, he need look no further than the native Seattleite Millen, who still has close ties to his alma mater.

AKA Breedlove
AKA Breedlove

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Montana’s dad, Joe, once upon a time used to star in television ads for Mervyns. Some reports state that he may have played football, too.

Fact of the matter is, when Montana shows up in Seattle in Autumn, 2010, there are going to be a ton of people who want to make him feel welcome here. From the guys that want to be his wingmen, to the girls who want to have his baby, Montana is going to be a popular guy on Montlake for years to come.

Two pieces of advice: stash the Axe body spray, and head to Hall Health Center on the UW campus for free condoms. Like wearing your shoulder pads, it’s important to always use protection. Now get out there and get some booty.

6 thoughts on “Nick Montana Could Top Hugh Millen’s Scoring Record At UW”

  1. You should keep this trash for porn magazines. The accomplished son of a hall of fame legend makes a career choice that may help inspire more fans to watch football in America and you write only about his penis? What happened to creative and thoughtful writing in America?

  2. I dont think fans had any problem watching football in America…in the Seattle area or otherwise. I was at Apple Cup last year when the Huskies were 0-10 and there were damn near as many purple shirts in the stands as crimson. If you read the post closely, you will realize it was posted in jest and is not graphic at all, nor does it mention his penis in any way shape or form! It’s a simple formula: if you dont like whats being written, DON’T visit the site. Simple.

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