Where have you gone, Taco Wallace?

tacoRemember Taco Wallace?

The Seattle Seahawks’ 2003 seventh-round draft pick out of Kansas State, Wallace was the practice squad receiver with the funny nickname who never could find his way into a regular role with the team.

Six years after he first became a pseudo-household name, two or three of you may actually be wondering whatever happened to the football-playing Mexican side dish.

Unbeknownst to many, Wallace is once again making a name for himself in the Seattle area as a wideout for the minor league Seattle Stallions of the Cascade Football League.

But that’s not all.

In order to generate fan interest in their ballclub, the Stallions have put together a marketing campaign centered around a 31-year-old “mystery player” named L. Wallace.

Here is an excerpt from their press release regarding the mysterious L. Wallace, which may or may not have been written by a third grader (all punctuation and capitalization is reproduced as originally printed in the release):

“Mystery Minor League Football Player L. Wallace a 31 yr old WR-KR 6’1″ 180 Ibs Must have set an All-Time Minor League U.S.A. Record Saturday Night at Edmonds High School Football Field 2 May 09 in directing the Seattle Stallions 49-0 Opening game win against the Winless Snohomish County Thunder in returning two Thunder Punts, one for 80 yds, a TD and secondly for a return of 100 yds, and intercepting a Thunder pass for 61 yds to add a third Seattle score, to accumulate over 280 yards to an already over 300 yd Seattle total rushing, to become MVP and Player of the week in this Cascade Football League Football game of the week. The question is, who is this Mystery 31 yr old Football player from Garden Grove California?”

tacowallaceThe answer is Taco Wallace.

Mystery solved.

Interestingly enough, Taco Wallace has a birthdate of April 14, 1981, while his doppleganger L. Wallace is listed as 31 years of age.

Maybe this is simply a marketing ploy to lead observers off the trail.

Maybe Wallace is half-Dominican.

Or maybe the guy that’s marketing the Stallions learned arithmetic as well as he learned grammar.

Either way, the fact remains that Taco is alive and well and dominating an adult football league that otherwise wouldn’t have received any pub whatsoever.

So congratulations, Stallions, your plan worked.

Oh, and for the record, Taco’s given first name is Lawrence. And coincidentally, he’s listed at 6’1″, 180 lbs by NFL.com. Hmm….

*Side note: If you happen to be looking for a sports marketing firm, consider American Sports Mgt NW of Everett, WA. These guys are the savvy braintrust behind the press release you just read, with special thanks to corporate director Don Whedon, the author of the words I have quoted in this article.

19 thoughts on “Where have you gone, Taco Wallace?”

  1. For the record, I wrote this Story about L. Wallace to Dick Suess Commissioner of the Cascade Football League as game of the week, and did not know who L. Wallace was, Someone from the Everett Herald said, he might research it, But never got back to me. I did not say this guy was Taco Wallace, or even imply the same. I took personal Offense to being told my Grammer and Arithmetic is that of a Thirdgrader, I wrote a Rough Draft to Dick Suess, I also wrote another story naming all my players, last year, one was re-written by a new paper Sports writer, and they put their name on it. This has happened many times in past 19 yrs, We are Volunteers and don’t have the Editing staff you do, so I write rough drafts to People I know like Dick Suess Eddie McMillen,ect.. By the way Eddie is announcing for us, and when he read your article he asked, “Does this guy Alex have something against you Don?” Minor League Football in Seattle is well and alive-all we ask for is alittle Respect-I will never insult you without taking you alone in a place You & I,in private. You don’t insult a Man on his Grammer or Arithemetic unless he is a Professional getting paid. Sports in Seattle, is not built on Disrepecting eachother. Remember People will mostly forget what you said to them, People forget and forgive you when you yell at them, But People will never forget how you made them Feel. My teacher Gary Wright in Sports Mgmt 2005,Said “That Sports is based on Respect for People, and to succeed in the Sports Business you need to follow the following 4 P Formula” 1.) People 2.) Process 3.) Product and 4.) Profit will follow-Profit is not always money- You should deal with People with Honesty,Respect, even in your Analysis ( as you call it ) Any further Insults to me Please address them to me Personally-you have my E-Mail. Sincerely, Donald Dean Whedon SR

  2. Please fans tell me what you really think of Minor League Football in Seattle? How many of know that since the year 2000 to 2009 We here in the NorthWest have had Five National Championship Teams, Three of which have played in Florida, Sarosta and Wide World of Sports in Orlando? Sam Adams his Eastside Hawks 2003 & 2004, with such greats as Jeramiah Pharms, Sam Blanch and the Puget Sound Jets with the great Coach Ken Austin, with Brian Pittman as our long snapper and center for years, now he is with the Seahawks-why not come out an see the Stallions play at Shoreline High School 18 July 09 at home comming. Meet the thirdgrader in Grammar & Arithmetic, a guy who wrote the short Bus, and stills strives to be President of the U.S. Watch the best Football in Seattle, where we play hard and win for you the Fan’s not the Sportswriters, who compete with eachother with Vocabulary and Grammar lessons. Sports in Seattle is well and alive even for Minor League Football players. Leo Dickerson a 98 graduate from Cleveland High School that throws for an average of 240 yds passing a game, Do you see Hasselback throwing this many yards in a single game? Carlos Clark- been playing playing Semi-Profressional Football for 7 yrs now, and is the Best receiver Still in any League in the U.S.A. Come see the Four Horsemen 300 Ibs Average Offensive Linemen, who open up holes every game for rookie running backs like Marcus Brooks, Danny Hignite, and that great kid from Kent High School Jeff Freeman, whose High School Football overlooked.
    When is the last time you saw UoW or Seahawks go 5-0, with 4 shutouts. Get past the Grammar lessons and come see Real Winning Football with Merle Davis as head Coach, and his excellent coaching staff. Thank you for listensing. Don D. Whedon Sr American Sports Mgmt Volunteer, PR for the Seattle Stallions & Vice Commissioner for the Cascade Football League.

  3. I like how Don keeps attaching his name and profession to every comment he leaves.

    It’s like if the guy who built the Titanic went around to different shipyards handing out his business card, looking for work, and had “Jon Smith, Senior Builder, Titanic” on it.

  4. Don D. Whedon SR is now the Commissioner of the Cascade Football League. I don’t why they let a guy like that have such a position when he doesn’t get the respect of our Grammar Experts. Seattle Sports Fans please get past the Young Press Pride and joy and come see winning Football 18 July 09, 6pm at Shoreline High School, I Don Whedon SR will personally give you Tickets to the Playoff game and Cascade League Championship at Shoreline High School Football Stadium August 8th 2009. If they let me give some Tickets away I will invite you to Las Vegas for the Western U.S.A. Minor League Football Championship 10 Oct 09. See you 18 July 09, 6pm at Shoreline High School Football Stadium. I invite Alex and all Intellectual friends also. When is the last time the UoW Football Team or the Seahawks for that matter finish a perfect Season? Don W

  5. Seattle Football Fans this article is proof the Seattle Stallions Football Team is alive and well. Donald Shelton has this story on his desk waiting for you to beg him to release it in his Sports Section of the Seattle Times Newspaper. It is written by Allan Rose the Stallions own profressional sports feature writer please read it. Lets hear some discussion from the true lovers of football in Seattle. Title: “For the love of the game” Every sports fan has heard this catchy phrase at one time or the other. Nowhere is it more true than in the world of Semi-Profressional Football. And nowhere is this more apparent than with the Seattle Stallions, #2 Nationally ranked AAA Minor League Football Team, led by a very talented quarter back. Leo Dickerson is a prime example of football life after high school. A standout at Cleveland High School, wSeattle, over a decade ago. Dickerson has kept his compassion and love of the game. At 31 yrs old he still has hopes of competing at the next level. Along the way to his joining the Stallions in 2009 Dickerson played for the Puget Sound Titans, and King County Jaguars, also Semi-Pro. “All those years of football have kept me off the streets and guided me to the good things of life” Dickerson emphasized. What is the biggest challenege the quarterback faces as the Stallions’s leader is to attain their goal of playing for the Western U.S.A. Championship in Las Vegas, September 2010. “Our pass protection must continue to improve and our players must all be on the same page, and this is happening. This is a great group of guys and I enjoy playing with them. I feel the Stallion’s can compete with anyone” state Dickerson. One of the problems they face, as do many semi-pro organizations, is the small number of players able to make their twice aweek practices. Jobs and family commitments limits the number of sessions they can attend. Teams rarely exchange game film, but Dicerson picks Stallion’s film from previous games every Tuesday to study. There are no Saturday game plans and as Dickerson says, “Once the game starts we will take anything they give us. My teammates pick up on situations quickly which helps make us better each game.” Many of the players, all of whom pick up their their own expenses, hope to use the Stallions as a stepping stone to the next level. Most have played high school, some college, and a few have been rostered on NFL or Arena Profressional teams. Fans wanting to mix solid football into their Summer activities have an opportunity to watch a game played by athletes who are skilled and have devoted much of their life to game they love. Wherelse can a family of four spend under $39.00 dollars for an evening of fun and entertainment, including food. Add this to the fact that kids under 12 are free, as is parking. The next home games for the Stallions is July 31st 2010 and August 7th 2010, Both Championship games. Shoreline HS Stadium is located in Shoreline North Seattle 18560 1st Ave NE. This team this year has many players that are exceptual to Taco Wallace last year. Seattle football fans, Don D. Whedon SR is alive and promoting the Stallions again this year. I edited this article, I let a profressional writer write it. Lets fill the stands at Shoreline HS Stadium both on the 31st of July and again August 7th 2010. Come out and make your own mind’s what really happened to Taco Wallace, and the Seattle Stallions. This winning team has a majority owner named Dr. Randall Dreessen as he like all of us, Operate the the team for the love of Football, Minor League AAA football in Seattle, myself my money is where my mouth is. We need cash paid customer in the stands. Hope to get a great response to this latest. Don D. Whedon SR Promoter of AAA Minor League Football in Seattle, winning football at its best-Semi-Profressional Football.

  6. Kevin Brown Sports Editor of the Everett Herald also has this great press release on his Desk. Let go with a Winner for once, isn’t everyone of you football sports fans tired of talking about and seeing losers, what about the Winners Seattle Stallions Football Team. Come to Shoreline HS School stadium 18560 1st Ave N 31 July 2010 and 7 Aug 2010 6pm to see a Winner and see what happened to alot of Taco wallace’s and beyond. Get made Seattle fans, react to a Winning team. Donald D. Whedon SR AAA Minor League Football Promotions for the Western Washington football Alliance.

  7. Kevin Brown Sports Editor of the Everett Herald also has this great press release on his Desk. Let go with a Winner for once, isn’t everyone of you football sports fans tired of talking about and seeing losers, what about the Winners Seattle Stallions Football Team. Come to Shoreline HS School stadium 18560 1st Ave N 31 July 2010 and 7 Aug 2010 6pm to see a Winner and see what happened to alot of Taco wallace’s and beyond. Get made Seattle fans, react to a Winning team. Donald D. Whedon SR AAA Minor League Football Promotions for the Western Washington football Alliance.This is an Add on.

  8. As I read stallion mind a co-worker comes to my desk with ptieurcs of her horse journey into the bush last year. Thank you for the lingering of such possibility as living in deep relationship with maybe and letting trained stallions run wild. Your gift to portrait in words what I experience in sensation is sheer delight. I express so much gratitude for this relationship of possibility that we nurture and exquisitely share. May the strength and determination you exude be the pillars from which you stand and the cushion that cradles the fall. Much loveB

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