Blessed with a rare callup to the big leagues, minor league umpire Frank Drebin Todd Tichenor did what any other good, recently-promoted authority figure would do: He showcased his power by sacrificing four minions in a matter of minutes.
The 32-year-old Tichenor (who apparently has a history of this sort of behavior) kicked off his bad day by ejecting Minnesota Twins catcher Mike Redmond in the top half of the seventh inning, precisely three seconds (0:03) after Redmond attempted to argue a close play at the plate.
Ejection No. 2 came just a few heartbeats later, when Twins manager Ron Gardenhire emerged from the dugout to defend his already-tossed catcher. Goodbye, Ron.
Ejections three and four came in the bottom of the frame, in the forms of Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek and manager Terry Francona.
After Varitek turned around to discuss the strike zone, he was given 10 seconds (0:10) to state his case before he got the heave-ho.
Francona was given a slightly longer leash, lasting 11 seconds (0:11) before hitting the showers.
Maybe Tichenor just has a complex about catchers and managers, or more likely maybe he was just trying to stop Reggie Jackson from killing the Queen of England, who knows.
All we know for sure is that this guy will be lucky to given another chance at the major league level after his nightmarish performance yesterday. And with entertainment value like he has, that’s just too bad.