Whether you’re a Mariners fan or not, chances are you’ve seen a rally fries sign or two in your time. They are seemingly everywhere these days, and they got their start at Safeco Field.
Of course, after a few short games, the signs began cropping up in ballparks all around the nation and now the often imitated (but never replicated) rally fry fad has taken over America.
Credit current Mariners broadcaster and ex-third baseman Mike Blowers for the idea. Trying to breathe some life into the fan base surrounding an otherwise morbid baseball team, Blowers decided to give away free garlic fries to one lucky fan each game. All the fan had to do to get Blowers’ attention was make a sign.
In the past year or so, many of the signs have gotten repetitive and, let’s be honest, boring.
So we’ve come up with 11 ideas that are sure to catch the eye of Blowers, as well as anyone else who happens to enjoy a good one-liner. For your enjoyment.
11. “I bet you rally fries that Yuniesky Betancourt swings at the first pitch.”
Hold up your sign each time Yuni comes to bat. The odds are in your favor.
10. “Mike Blowers owes me child support money.”
Just call them “hush fries.”
9. “I flew here all the way from Uranus just to get some RALLY FRIES!”
Because all those “flew here from Montana/California/Florida/Japan” signs just weren’t good enough.
8. “I ♥ rally fry.”
The key here is to keep it the singular, “rally fry,” rather than the plural.
7. “My rally fries are better than your dumbass monkey.”
The rally monkey is so last decade.
6. “Even though the advent of the rally fry has coincided with some of the worst seasons in Mariners history, I’ll still suck up to you for free food.”
Because we all have our vices, even in the face of reality.
5. “Is that a rally fry in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
I’ll be here all season, folks. Try the King Dogs.
4. “I gave the $5 I could have spent on garlic fries to charity. Now some child in Africa can eat for a year.”
3. “If you give me rally fries, I won’t release the photos, Blowers.”
Blackmail. It gets results.
2. “Open your mouth, close your eyes, and in comes a big surprise! And by the way, here come some rally fries!”
That’s two big surprises, in case you’re taking notes.
1. “Carlos Silva ate my rally fries.”
If this one doesn’t net you free fries, nothing will.