Top 11: Things you will NEVER hear Seattle sports fans say

sene2I apologize to anyone who may have accidentally uttered any of these statements over the years. It doesn’t mean you’re not a true Seattle sports fan, it just means you have some work to do. Nobody’s perfect.

11. “It’s a boy! And we shall name him Mouhamed!” Sorry, Sene.

10. “Bobblehead night, huh? No, sorry, I can’t go.” Ichiro’s fifty different bobbleheads hate you.

9. “Look, there he is! Husky Legend Casey Paus!” Eh…that was almost unwarranted.

8. “Thanks to Seattle’s new transportation system, everyone can get to the game for free!” Even George Jetson had a laugh at that one.

7. “Yes! The yellow hydro always wins!” Green for life! Red is the enemy!

6. “Oh, that? That’s just my Dan McGwire shrine.” Right next to your portrait of Rich King, no less.

5. “Two World Series tickets, please.” I need to wipe my tears now.

4. “There it is, son. One of Seattle’s greatest landmarks. We renovated it in 2011.” No, thank you, Washington State government.

3. “Honey, have you seen my Ayala jersey?” It’s right next to your Richie Sexson commemorative chucking helmet.

2. “Bill Bavasi told me to.” The answer to the question, “Why did you draft five closers in the first five rounds of our fantasy draft?”

1. “God bless Nick Licata.” Possible substitutes for Licata include Greg Nickels, Frank Chopp, or Christine Gregoire.

2 thoughts on “Top 11: Things you will NEVER hear Seattle sports fans say”

  1. “Let’s catch an NHL game at the Key”, or just “Let’s catch an NHL game”… in general.

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