Violent, Holier Than Thou Sabermetricians Plot Physical Retribution On Dissenting Minds

You will appreciate our statistics! Or we will hurt you!

That’s the message sabermetricians have been trying to send as I peruse the internet in search of the ever-increasing amount of feedback to our whimsical piece on the over-perpetuation of baseball statistics.

Of course, there are the vocal members of the online minority (aka real-life majority) who catch the humor in what we’re trying to say about the people behind sabermetrics. And we appreciate them for their support.

Unfortunately, the folks who live and die through the quantification of a sport that we all should be able to enjoy won’t have it that way. Just to play it safe, you better bring your scoresheet and pencil to the next baseball game you attend, lest you get accosted in the parking lot by a math guru.

I hear that sabermetricians support Michael Vick’s abuse of pitbulls and hate newborn kittens, too. What is this world coming to?  *Head-shaking emoticon.*

13 thoughts on “Violent, Holier Than Thou Sabermetricians Plot Physical Retribution On Dissenting Minds”

  1. I enjoy your website a lot, but this is one place that are completely wrong on all counts. You have no idea what you’re talking about.

  2. dude you get funnier every post. why arent you writing for page 2 or deadspin, your so freakin funny.

  3. You don’t seem to show much understanding of the thing you are trying to mock. As a result, you come off looking shallow and annoying.

    Satire without wit is drivel.

  4. your blog is very impressive, may you refer me to additional writings of yours that are as clever as this one? I sincerely admire your writing abilities, you are very cutting edge in your criticisms of other fans of the baseball games.

  5. Alex – Love your posts, and I would like to take this time to say that I’m currently in first place in your fantasy league. Also, let me point out how funny it is too see these whiny sabermetricians post trite and sarcastic posts after they get butt hurt. They make us bloggers looke sane, social and loveable. First rule of blogging: Don’t write anything critical of sabermetrics. God forbid you use such phrases as “team chemistry,” individual or team motivation and “cluth hitting.” Seriously, sabermetricians, while able to develop great tools for analysis, are, on a personal level simply douchebags. Not to mention they can’t apply their statistical tools with any success in any other (meaningful) sport that I’m aware of.

    So, on to the post. I completely AGREE with you on sabermetrics. A valuable tool, for sure, but it has as many holes as the National’s infield defense. Read Moneyball? That book is riddled with so many fallacies I’m astounded it’s still referenced as the sabermetricians holy grail. Bill James is a smart man and many of his statistical formulas provide valuable measures for pitching, defense, and hitting. However, in my opinion those statistics of individual players don’t provide accurate formulas for determining win/loses–rather they give a series of variables and measures that help formulate how each individual player on a team may perform but not how well all of those players will perform simulteanously. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, sabermetricians dont’ fare too well on prediction of wins/losses.

  6. Matthew, you’re actually embarassingly mistaken. Sabermetricians consistently do better at predicting win-loss records than non-sabermetricians

  7. Matt, you can’t put him on the spot like that. You know how much work he would have to do to come up with that information? Think about his day job…those floors aren’t going to mop themselves, after all.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s