Local Newscasters Square Off In First Round
In perhaps the most interesting first round matchup of the entire Bigger Dance, two Seattle-based newscasters will go head-to-head for the right to move into Round Two.
Lisa Gangel, KING 5 sportscaster, takes on Rebecca Stevenson, KIRO 7 meteorologist, in this battle of local proportions.
Stevenson is a first-timer in this competition and will probably have to settle for the joy that comes with making the field. She’ll have a tough time taking care of Gangel, who has the edge in experience (this is her second Bigger Dance appearance) and familiarity with the voting audience (she does cover sports, after all).
We’ve chronicled Gangel on this website before, and it should come as no surprise to anyone when she steamrolls her way into the Round of 32. Gangel with the W.
Breaking down the rest of the region:
Miranda Kerr vs. Marisa Miller. Kerr is a first-timer who has only recently found the national spotlight as an up-and-coming Victoria’s Secret model. Miller, on the other hand, has been around for a few years and doubles as a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Give experience the edge in this matchup; Miller moves on.
Rihanna vs. Maria Sharapova. Forget the whole Chris Brown on-again, off-again abusive relationship mumbo jumbo. Even if none of that whole messed-up situation ever occurred, Rihanna would still lose to Sharapova. Sharapova isn’t knock-your-socks-off gorgeous, but she has the connection to sports and has done well in this tournament before. Sharapova wins in straight sets.
Kim Kardashian vs. Kate Hudson. If history is any indication, Hudson is going down like China Town in this first round matchup. The perky, blonde-haired actress has been in the Bigger Dance five times, and has lost in Round One four of those times. Yikes. Hudson will look to reverse the curse in 2009, but will have a tough time doing so against Kim Kardashian, aka Reggie Bush’s girlfriend, aka the biggest booty in Hollywood. Kardashian isn’t really famous for much except for her ample posterior, and that should be enough to help her back, back, back it up into the second round. Kardashian with the victory.
January Jones vs. Taylor Swift. Every year, there are a few matchups that are decided by the female voters. This is one of those matchups. Both Jones and Swift are first-timers in the Bigger Dance, and neither one has too much of an upper hand. Jones stars in the TV series Mad Men, while Swift is a budding superstar on the music scene. Neither one has the goods to go too far into this tournament, but Swift should get enough love from the ladies to carry a tune into the next round. Sorry, Miss January, but Swift gets the nod.
Kristen Bell vs. Carrie Underwood. Bell, like Mila Kunis before her, will be helped out slightly by the Forgetting Sarah Marshall factor. Anytime you’re a good-looking lady in a laugh-out-loud comedy that takes place in Hawaii, thus requiring you to wear a bikini for much of the filming, guys will like you. Unfortunately, that won’t be enough to move Bell past powerhouse Carrie Underwood and into the next round. Underwood has been a part of the last three Bigger Dances and has been to the Sweet 16 in the past two. No different this year. Underwood moves on.
Leryn Franco vs. Eva Longoria. Eva. I don’t even need to tell you.
Blake Lively vs. Keira Knightley. Ugh, Keira Knightley. We don’t really like her that much, but she’s probably going to win. Hell, she knocked off Heidi Klum in the first round last year, and Blake Lively is no Heidi Klum. Lively is a first-timer who is relatively unknown; outside of the movie Accepted, most guys probably haven’t seen any of her work. That gives the distinct edge to the Pirates of the Caribbean star. Knightley cruises into Round Two.