2009 Bigger Dance: Great Taste Region

Refaeli-Andrews Contest Highlights Region

erinandrews2It’s Erin Andrews’ year.  We’re just going to go ahead and say it.

ESPN’s sideline reporter extraordinaire needs to win, deserves to win, and should win her first round matchup with supermodel Bar Refaeli.

Of course, getting past the 2009 Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition cover model will be no easy task.  But if anyone is up for it, it’s Andrews, who has the zesty type of personality that both men and women can adore.

This is Andrews’ third appearance in the Bigger Dance, and she’s been the victim of tough matchups in each of those years.

In 2007, while still a relative unknown, Andrews crumbled before country singing sensation Carrie Underwood in her first round game.

In ’08, she met Alessandra Ambrosio in the opening round, and met a similar fate as the year before.

Now, in 2009, she’s out to prove that she’s no ugly stepsister. This is Cinderella’s year, and the slipper fits Erin Andrews.

Breaking down the rest of the region:

Ana Ivanovic vs. Katy Perry. Ivanovic is coming off a 2008 Bigger Dance appearance in which she upset Grammy winner Alicia Keys in the opening round. Expect her to take another swing at the music industry when she knocks off first-timer Perry in this matchup. The budding pop star Perry may need one or two more years before she impacts the field, and for now she’ll have to watch as Ivanovic moves on.

Scarlett Johansson vs. Rosario Dawson. Goodbye, Rosario Dawson. We enjoyed having you here, but your time is up now, you need to go home. No chance for Will Smith’s co-star from Seven Pounds. Johansson moves on.

Penelope Cruz vs. Anne Hathaway. Maybe if Penelope hadn’t wasted the last few years of her life starring in foreign films, she might be able to give the ever-shrinking Anne Hathaway a run for her money. Instead, I liken Tom Cruise’s ex-love interest (Question: Would Penelope have changed her surname to “Cruise,” rather than “Cruz,” if the couple had wed? Hmm…) to a mid-major ballclub with zero Cinderella factor. Penelope is basically Dayton, or Portland State, or any one of the other typical first round exits come tourney time. Hathaway has the goods to dispose of Cruz and move on.

Fun fact: Brad Pitt's had sex with at least two women in this region.
Fun fact: Brad Pitt's had sex with at least two women in this region.

Sara Jean Underwood vs. Angelina Jolie. SJU’s claim to fame is that she was the Oregon State student who graced the cover of Playboy’s Girls of the Pac-10 issue way back in 2005. She might have “wood” in her name, but this Beaver doesn’t have what it takes to topple Mrs. Brad Pitt. Jolie sends SJU to an early exit.

Julianne Hough vs. Yvonne Strahovski. Two mid-majors duking it out for the right to face Angelina Jolie in round two, Hough is a dance professional on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars, while Strahovski is the female lead in NBC’s Chuck. We can spot Strahovski the ten or so votes she might receive from faithful Chuck viewers out there, but for the most part expect the more-pronounceable Hough (no relation to Charlie Hough, I’m told) to win this battle of network television stations.

Jessica Alba vs. Eliza Dushku. Jessica Alba is the three-time reigning champion of the Bigger Dance. Eliza Dushku is a fringe actress that currently stars in a show on one of those second-tier networks (UPN, CW, Fox, something like that). Ordinarily, I wouldn’t hate on the little guy for going up against the perennial powerhouse, but Dushku’s bio says she’s a big fan of the Boston Red Sox so PEACE, BIOTCH!! Alba rolls.

Jennifer Aniston vs. Britney Spears. If this were, say, six or seven years ago, we might expect these two to be meeting in the later rounds of this tournament. Alas, it is 2009, and while Britney has managed to pick herself up from rock bottom yet again, she needs a few more years of sane behavior under her belt before we can all truly believe she’s not crazy. Aniston is the fine wine of Hollywood, seemingly getting better with age. Come young, come old, just don’t come near Jennifer Aniston (note the sexual innuendo, as well). Aniston moves on.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s