2009 Bigger Dance: Miller Lite Region

Simpson-Knowles Matchup Is Bracketbuster

jessicasimpsonTwo curvaceous women of the music scene highlight the eight games in the Miller Lite Region of 950 KJR’s 2009 Bigger Dance Bracket.

The Jessica Simpson-Beyonce Knowles showdown is one that could have significant repercussions in the later rounds of the tournament.  Both have the ability to go deep into the bracket, and either diva could provide a worthy challenge to likely second-round foe Hayden Panettiere.

Though it’s a tough choice, our official pick goes to Mrs. Romo herself, Jessica Simpson.

Simpson has the looks and the assets to pull off the W.  She has the media in her grasp even when she’s not making music, and her connection to the sports world through Romo doesn’t hurt, either.

As a bonus, she’s gone from sleek and slender, to “more to love,” and back to sleek and slender all in a period of six months.  That should appeal to fans of all body types.

Beyonce’s downfall comes as a result of her waning media spotlight, thanks in large part to her 2008 wedding to rapper/mogul Jay-Z.  As soon as the world found out that the two superstars had tied the knot, the traveling media circus hit the road and it’s been quiet around the Knowles-Z household ever since. Though she possesses championship-caliber good looks, Beyonce will be hard-pressed to take down perennial favorite Simpson.

Breaking down the rest of the region:

They grow up so fast...
They grow up so fast...

Hayden Panettiere vs. Kate Walsh. The one-time Remember the Titans tyke is all grown up and ready to dive headfirst into the tourney.  She faces off against the mid-major of opponents in Private Practice’s Kate Walsh, a middle-aged actress who may be better suited for the Senior Circuit.  Panettiere cruises to victory and moves on to face the Simpson-Knowles winner in Round 2.

Elin Nordegren vs. Emmanuelle Chriqui. Rule No. 1 in Bigger Dance play: If the voters can’t pronounce your name, you’re probably gonna lose.  This doesn’t bode well for Chriqui, who goes up against Bigger Dance stalwart Elin Nordegren, aka Mrs. Tiger Woods.  Nordegren should have no problem dispatching Chriqui on her way to the W.

Alessandra Ambrosio vs. Natalie Gulbis. A battle of lesser-known names featuring a Victoria’s Secret supermodel (Ambrosio) against a professional golfer (Gulbis).  While Gulbis has the sports connection, she simply does not have the moxy to take down the Brazilian favorite in Ambrosio.  Ambrosio moves on.

Isla Fisher vs. Mila Kunis. Fisher is a first-time Bigger Dance participant, while Kunis hasn’t been part of the field since 2003.  This might end up being a pick-em game, unless most voters happened to watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Kunis may very well have resurrected her career as the smoking hot love interest in the 2008 comedy, while Fisher has failed to impress in roles since appearing in Wedding Crashers.  Give this one to Kunis.

She's got something to prove
She's got something to prove

Jennifer Love-Hewitt vs. Freida Pinto. Love-Hewitt was a fixture in the Bigger Dance until last year, when she escaped the field of 64.  Pinto is a first-timer who rose to fame in 2008 as a co-star in Slumdog Millionaire (or “Millanaire,” to the initiated).  Love-Hewitt is playing with a chip on her shoulder after last year’s snub, so look for her to come out with something to prove in the first round.  Love-Hewitt with the win.

Keeley Hazell vs. Shakira. Let’s be honest, does anyone know what Shakira is even up to these days?  This could be “Bea Arthur vs. Shakira,” and I’d give the edge to the Golden Girl.  Hazell is a British model with two big tickets to victory, while Shakira may or may not be still alive.  Hazell rolls on.

9 thoughts on “2009 Bigger Dance: Miller Lite Region”

  1. Careful guys… you’re going to end up with the same sleaziness as ‘The Big Picture’. It’s getting closer and closer by the day…

  2. Hayden Panettiere will crush Kate Walsh. I’ve got her going into the 3rd round…it’ll be tough to get around Knowles or Simpson.

    Frank Brown
    Bankruptcy Lawyer
    free legal advice

  3. Whoops. Don’t know how I missed that one. And that it took this long to notice.

    Anyways, Fox rolls, let’s face it. La Rue has zero chance.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s