Top 11: Rejected ’09 Mariners slogans

Why isn't this our slogan?
Why isn't this our slogan?

They’ve done it again.  Another year, another slogan from the Seattle Mariners’ marketing staff.  Ever since 1995 and the team’s “Refuse to Lose” campaign, the pressure has been on these unheralded office-dwellers to concoct a winning one-liner for an entire season’s hopes to be based upon.

This year’s result: “A new day, a new way.”  If you don’t see the significance right away, the club is basically saying, “Hey, we’re rebuilding here, so don’t expect much.”  Not exactly something winners tell themselves every morning when they wake up.

Nevertheless, the slogan will be forced to stick by this team throughout the ’09 season.  No matter if they lose 100 games or, knock on wood, win 100 games.

If “A new day, a new way” is the best the marketing gurus at Safeco Field could come up with, we want to know which slogans they turned down.  Which is why we’ve uncovered the final 11 quips to be left on the drawing board.  Enjoy.

11. “The green hydro needs your support.” Damn it, I better get out there, then.

10. “We have Shishkaberries.” And where else are you gonna get those?

These things don't grow on trees, you know.
These things don't grow on trees, you know.

9. “If you don’t show up, Jarrod Washburn will threaten to beat you up in the press.” Just ask Ichiro.  He knows what’s up.

8. “Where we may or may not be giving away a bobblehead tonight….you better come find out!” I am one Yuniesky Betancourt bobblehead away from piecing together a Triple-A caliber infield.

7. “Because it’s Brazilian Buzz Night.” A lot like Buhner Buzz Night, but, um….a little different.

6. “You have a one-in-five chance of seeing Felix pitch.” I like those odds.

5. “You have a one-in-five chance of seeing Kenji Johjima get a base hit.” I don’t like those odds.

1-in-20 he takes it in the testicles.
1-in-20 he takes it in the testicles.

4. “You gotta love garlic fries!” I do love garlic fries.

3. “Junior did it for you.” Well, all right then.

2. “$8 beer just tastes better!” You’re right, it does!

1. “At least Richie’s gone.” You can’t argue with that logic.

Ahh, memories.
Ahh, memories.

4 thoughts on “Top 11: Rejected ’09 Mariners slogans”

  1. Last year it was reported by members of the local press that a group of Mariners had conspired to beat Ichiro up in the clubhouse because they had taken such a strong disliking to his personality. It was speculated that Jarrod Washburn was likely the head of this group.

  2. Might I humbly suggest 11b. “The 2009 Seattle Mariners: We got uniforms and everything”

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