You can view all five of this year’s commercials by CLICKING HERE.
Because we’re looking for something to do, we’ve decided to grade the 2009 Seattle Mariners commercials. We’re just weird like that. All grades are out of five stars. Also, cast your vote for your favorite ’09 M’s commercial at the bottom of the article.
Starring: Mariner manager Don Wakamatsu.
Premise: Wakamatsu’s life is all about baseball.
Grade: 4 stars
Best parts: Wakamatsu’s offhand side comments while reading (“Huh, I didn’t know that.”) and watching movies (“I love this part.”).
Title: Midnight Line Drives
Starring: Ichiro Suzuki.
Premise: Ichiro wears out a pitching machine that has to be relieved.
Grade: 3 stars
Best Parts: First off, the setting. You can count on one hand the number of times a Mariners ad has actually been filmed on the diamond at Safeco Field, so this is a pleasant surprise. Second, when Ichiro says “Ahh, the croser.”
Title: Ryan’s Big Night
Starring: Ryan Rowland-Smith.
Premise: Mariners hold a promotional night for Rowland-Smith’s homeland of Austria…which is actually Australia.
Grade: 2 stars.
Best Parts: The mayor of Vienna, and Rowland-Smith’s nouveau sport goggles.
Starring: Felix Hernandez.
Premise: Felix sends his condolences to strikeout victims with cards and flowers.
Grade: 4.5 stars.
Best Parts: Felix’s accent. His “Hab o nice day” quote at the end of the commercial is reminiscent of Edgar’s “Eez a ligh bat” from back in the day.
Title: The Secret
Starring: Edgar Martinez and Jay Buhner.
Premise: Edgar and Jay get set to meet the creator of all 100 M’s commercials.
Grade: 2.5 stars.
Best Parts: Edgar saying “Best one yet, Sprinkles!” You could hand Edgar the dictionary and ask him to read it and it would be entertaining.
Vote on your favorite 2009 Mariners commercial.