Peter Vagenas burdened with the most unfortunate of names

I said I was going to boycott the Sounders until Vini Oliveira returned, but I had to issue a reprieve for this.  While perusing the sports blogs on SeattleTimes.com, I noticed that the Sounders FC blog made a reference to one “Peter Vagenas.”   This must be some kind of joke, I thought to myself, because “Peter Vagenas” is just a terribly unfortunate name.  But upon further review, I came to discover that Peter Vagenas did in fact exist, and played midfield for our local soccer team no less.

It's Mr. P in the Va-G himself.
It's Mr. P in the Va-G himself.

I feel bad for Peter Vagenas.  He is blessed with a train wreck of  a name.  If he were a college basketball player, he would endure night after night of torment.  Luckily, he plays in the MLS, where fans are generally good-natured and sit far enough way from the action that they can’t pepper the opponent with witty insults.  When they show up, that is.

Vagenas, for his part, has a good case against his parents should he ever choose to sue them for naming him so poorly.  I guess there’s nothing they could have done about “Vagenas.”  But Peter, really?  That’s like if Maurice Cheeks named his kid “Butt.”  It’s just plain cold-blooded.  The only thing worse would be if they had named him “Dick” or “Sandy.”  Maybe they made a list of the top three worst names they could give a kid with the last name “Vagenas,” then whittled it down to “Peter.”  Maybe they just hate kids.  Maybe Peter was a mistake, who knows.  Maybe “Vagenas” is pronounced completely different than what it looks like (“Uh, yeah, it’s actually pronounced ‘uh-HAY-nus’….the ‘V’ is silent, and it’s a soft ‘g’…”).

Anyways, if we do opt to give the Sounders more coverage this year (after the whole Vini Oliveira debacle, it’s a bit of a soft spot here on SSN), we’re going to have to figure out a way to incorporate Peter Vagenas into a segment.  I’m thinking “The Vagenas Monologues.”

*Peter Vagenas image courtesy The Seattle Times.

3 thoughts on “Peter Vagenas burdened with the most unfortunate of names”

  1. In an ode to Husky Stadium and the back-and-forth between both sides of the stadium of “Hus” “Kies”. I say we get a “Vag” “Enas” back-and-forth going at Qwest.

  2. Wow I’m surprised you haven’t gotten beat up for all the shit you talk. Can’t wait to find out who you are and post insulting things about you. Umm nvmd no one would care. Loser

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