T.J. Houshmandzadeh has signed with the Seahawks and we should all be legitimately excited. Here we have one of the top receivers in the NFL, in the midst of his prime, coming to Seattle. You could argue that the Seahawks haven’t had an elite wideout since the Joey Galloway days (though Darrell Jackson would likely dispute that), so the presence of Housh should be glorified for all it truly is.
In order to get things started, we’re tallying off four of the best things we can think of regarding the newest member of the Hawks, outside of pure statistics. It’s a fantastic compilation, truly exhilarating, so enjoy!
1. His last name is “Houshmandzadeh.” Props to me, for only having to look up the spelling of “Houshmandzadeh” once before nailing it. If there was a statistic in sports that calculated the ratio of letters in one’s last name to letters in one’s first name, Housh would have to be right up there with the very best (for those of you too lazy to pull out a calculator, the official ratio is 7:1). Not only that, but it’s fun to say and rhymes with a number of different words (local aspiring rappers, take note). On top of that, who doesn’t want to own a Houshmandzadeh Hawks jersey? Housh’s (very ugly) Bengals jersey was one of the more popular unis leaguewide, and there’s no doubt fans will be buying up his much more aesthetically pleasing Seahawks jersey as soon as it hits store shelves.
2. He possesses a sweet ponytail. Most guys can’t pull off the long-haired look, but T.J. does it rather nicely. Long and flowing and not at all like that fuzzy, pubescent mess hanging out of Troy Polamalu’s helmet, Housh’s ‘do should find many part of Seattle very accepting. The liberally hirsute communities of Capitol Hill, Fremont, and heck, even Ballard should take a quick liking to the well-coiffed wideout. And on a positive note, all he has to do is shave the front of that mop to fit in with the Kent folk. Business in the front, party in the back.
3. He’s durable. Remember Billy McMullen? Well forget him, because with Housh in the lineup, we’ll never need to hear from the likes of B-Mac ever again (sorry, Billy, but at least I called you B-Mac). In the past five years, T.J. has only missed five games. That’s an average of one per year, for you advanced calculus minors out there. One per year! My solution is we just let him sit the first game, then play him the final 15. Boom, done. We get that one out of the way early, and it’s all good from there. And maybe some of that durability will rub off on the likes of Deion Branch and Nate Burleson, two guys who combined to miss 23 games in 2008 alone.
4. He’s worth of a high pick in your fantasy draft. As any good sports fan can tell you, it’s always nice to have guys on your hometown ballclub that put up great fantasy numbers. Remember when Shaun Alexander was a consensus Top 5 fantasy pick a few years ago? Okay, so eventually he went on to destroy every fantasy team he was a member of, but still, it was pretty cool to have a Seattle guy as a fantasy stud. Think about it. In the past five years we’ve maybe had four guys across ALL our pro sports franchises worthy of early-round picks in fantasy drafts: Ichiro, Felix Hernandez, Matt Hasselbeck, and Shaun. But I guarantee you this: Housh will go within the first five rounds of your football draft, and if you can get him in round five, consider it a steal. Awesome.