Who runs FSN?

Chimpanzees. That’s who.

For anyone that suffered through the Huskies defeat at the hands of Cal on Thursday via the FSN broadcast, you likely had no idea what the score was for most of the first half unless you were watching the game with my 68 year old grandmother who’s hobby is to go to Mariners games just to sit and fill out a scorecard.

You may have noticed that the scoreboard on the bottom of your television was actually being used as someone’s personal calculator. At least that is what it looked liked to me when watching the score move aimlessly up and down, usually in 4 point increments for the wrong team. I personally counted 7 times when baskets weren’t counted and 5 times when the wrong amount of points was given, and those were just the times when the scoreboard was actually on the screen! The worst part of it was that when the scoring mistakes got too overwhelming, they just turned the scoreboard off altogether until the operator thought that they got it right and when it came back on, it was usually still wrong wrong by at least 2 points. Let’s not forget the final 2 minutes of the game when the game clock part of the scoreboard simply read, “2nd Half”. Like I said, chimps run FSN… or at least the scoreboards.

You’d think that having a crazy homeless man do the pre-game/halftime/and post-game in-studio shows would be pretty cool. Not the case after witnessing Tom Newell visually caress the turtleneck clad Angie Mentink (as she struggled to form sentences) with his crazy man eyes that made me think for a second that I was on the corner of the I-5 off ramp in the U-District. Seriously FSN… Tom Newell?! If it weren’t for Jason Gesser I’d say that Newell was the worst analyst I’ve ever heard but luckily for him he didn’t sound like he was eating his own tongue.

The bottom line is that FSN is awful. ESPN Classic does a better job broadcasting the 1980 Rose Bowl than FSN would do if it were given the opportunity and the resources to broadcast the Super Bowl.

As Seattleites that must watch all of our major sports on the Fox family of networks (Don’t even get me started on the NFL on Fox studio show and Cleatus the Robot), we must demand that all employees of FSN to be locked in a room and be forced to watch ESPN for 24 straight hours so they can see what a real sports network looks like in 2009.

Oh yeah… You have your own HD channel (Comcast 627), SO WHY DON’T YOU TRY TO PUT STUFF ON IT MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK!

2 thoughts on “Who runs FSN?”

  1. Yo Bro…ease up…angie wasn’t wearing a turtleneck unless you were mesmerized by her beads…as for my debut as an analyst, I couldn’t agree with you more…it’s not as EZ as you think when you have an earpiece other than a back-in-the-early-day tongue in your ear speaking to you at the same time you’re trying to move along…Appreciate your candor and observations, I’m thinking I need to meet you sometime and shake your hand…it’s all good, Brah, take care, keep it real…coach t

  2. Coach T, as creator of this train wreck of a website, I want to thank you for personally taking the time to acknowledge what has been stated about you in this article.

    In addition to Nate’s comments, I want to offer some of my own. I didn’t see any of your in-studio analysis so I can’t comment directly on that, but I would like to say that FSN has sadly garnered a reputation amongst most local fans as being a less-than-stellar sports network. To be fair, these criticisms are probably more in the direction of the national broadcast team (led by the likes of Barry Tompkins, Dan Belluomini, Petros Papadakis during football games, and many more) rather than the current local team (which features, among others, Kevin Calabro, Lenny Wilkens, and Francis Williams), but since they both fall under the same umbrella of “FSN,” it’s tough to really discriminate one outlet from the next.

    The point is, we, as Seattle fans, feel like in some ways we’ve been slighted by FSN. When we’re forced to listen to has-been broadcasters (Tompkins and Belluomini) flub names and references to our teams left and right, it can be unbearable. When we see analysis that makes us cringe or shake our heads (such as Francis Williams’ keys to the second half during the UW-Stanford game, which read “Eliminate mistakes” and “Take advantage of opportunities”…yeah, no kidding), we feel as if we’ve been treated to a broadcast that’s only semi-professional. Of course, this may be no fault of the broadcasters or analysts, themselves. For all we know, the producers of these broadcasts may poorly dictate the final product that we are forced to watch, so who can really say for sure.

    All I know is, there’s a certain lack of responsibility, ownership, and out-and-out professionalism that reigns supreme over Fox Sports. Personally, when I see a job done half-assed I get upset, because I know that at my job, I work as hard as I possibly can to take ownership of the things I have done. I also feel that same way about my side job, which happens to be this website. I have a feeling that guys like Coach T. here and many of his on-air cronies probably do work as hard as they possibly can to be as good as they can possibly be at their jobs. Unfortunately, they happen to be working for a network that doesn’t have their best interests at heart because they can’t showcase the talents of their on-air personalities to the best of their abilities. No one wants to work for a crap operation, which is why it would be tough to associate oneself with FSN right now and feel entirely good about it. This is no indictment on you personally, Coach Newell, but until FSN can really get their sh*t together, it’s tough to support much of the goings-on with the network as a whole, including all who are representative of that network.

    On a personal note, I appreciate all that you, Coach Newell, have done for local basketball in the area, including the 11-foot rim basketball game a couple years ago because that was awesome. Also, on behalf of Seattle sports fans everywhere, I want to tell you how sincerely I lament the passing of your father, Pete, back in November. Talk about someone who has done amazing things for an amazing sport. We all should be so lucky to have learned from such a great teacher of the game. Thanks for taking the time.

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