-Why hasn’t an opposing team’s fans ever started chanting “You are Gay!” at Rudy Gay? It only makes sense. I just hope I can be there when it happens.
-Xavier McDaniel (Sonics), Alvin Davis (Mariners), and John L. Williams (Seahawks) are three players that Seattle sports fans should have a special place for in their hearts.
-I’m pretty sure Dave Niehaus invented his “Grand Salami” call while pounding his wife.
-In case you were wondering whatever happened to Kurt Warner’s spiky-haired wife, she’s now pretty darn hot. Click here for more on that story, as well as pictures. A perfect example of what money can do for you.
-Athletes most likely to exit the closet in the next ten years: Derek Jeter, Dustin Pedroia, Tim Hardaway, Eli Manning.
-A roster of the most obscure Mariners anyone could possibly think of at each position:
- Pitcher, Jerry Don Gleaton.
- Catcher, Bill McGuire.
- First Base, Greg Pirkl.
- Second Base, Brent Gates.
- Third Base, Dave Cochrane.
- Shortstop, Rey Quinones.
- Outfield, Brian Turang.
- Outfield, Quinn Mack.
- Outfield, Warren Newsome.
-Names of players I want to create for Madden and/or NCAA Football after reviewing the list of names I’ve already created: Horace von Schnauzerface, Kareem Abdul-Smith, Tango McBerg, Konichi Wakamatsu.
-A short list of the best (term used loosely) sports comedy movies of all-time: Major League, Major League II, small doses of Major League III (if only because it’s so bad it’s funny, such as when they superimpose images of Taka Tanaka in the Metrodome because, presumably, they couldn’t get him to fly to Minnesota), Caddyshack, Bad News Bears, Happy Gilmore, Air Bud, The Sixth Man, Celtic Pride.
-An image from the soon-to-be-released Reggie Bush-Kim Kardashian sex tape:
And on that note, we are done. Check back later today for our feature article, and in the meantime, enjoy the inauguration.