Notes: Mora to UW dead, M’s sign Branyan, Mike Leach in Seattle

Mora to UW dead: Dave “Softy” Mahler, of 950 KJR AM fame, went on-air at 10:00 AM this morning with breaking news, stating that the possibility of Jim Mora, Jr. (that’s Jim as a Husky assistant to the left) coaching the UW football team next year is 100% dead. We’ve already been through one of these announcements before, so I’m not too worried. Plus, these absolute statements have always come via “Senior Jim Mora Correspondent and Football Expert” Hugh Millen and not Mora himself. Until I hear it straight from the horse’s mouth, I’m not buying. When Jim Mora can emerge from his cocoon and say “I will not be the next head coach at the University of Washington” with lips moving, sound matching up (no dubbed foreign filmwork here), a live press conference, at least three witnesses, a scribe, ID showing, and a retinal scan to prove he is who he says he is, then I’ll believe it. But not before that.

M’s sign Russell Branyan: Eh. He’s 32 years old, a switch hitter, former top prospect of the Indians back in the late ’90’s, hasn’t ever found a home or panned out, can hit the ball far, strikes out a lot, plays the corner positions but isn’t too handy with the glove, a prototypical NL bat off the bench, a six- or seven-hitter in the lineup, nothing special overall. Remember pinch-hitting guru Dave Hansen? He’s like that but a little better.

Also, the Mariners will be Branyan’s (pictured right) ninth team in the past seven years. So he’s essentially the Travis Henry of Major League Baseball.

Confirmed: Mike Leach talks to UW: The only thing that really excites me about Mike Leach (pictured left) is the prospect of watching him and defensive coordinator Ruffin McNeill (a slimmer McNeill pictured lower right) roaming the sidelines together. Leach is a big dude, but Ruffin McNeill could eat him for breakfast. I don’t know where the Tech coaching staff spends their lunch breaks, but I guarantee you it’s not at a salad bar. McNeill resembles a grizzly bear preparing for winter hibernation. He seemingly stores all his nutrients in a pouch around the lower abdomen area. When clothed, he divides his pouch into two pouches, an upper and a lower pouch, using his belt. I don’t want to think about how this plays out unclothed. Suffice it say, Ruffin McNeill is a huge man.

Anyways, yesterday the Times’ Bob Condotta reported that an observant local sports fan spotted Mike Leach on a plane coming to Seattle, presumably to interview with the UW athletic department. As it turns out, the fan’s and Condotta’s instincts were spot-on, since Texas Tech today confirmed Leach’s undercover rendezvous in the Great Northwest. I guess that’s cool. Leach is probably the biggest name left on the coaching front for a desperate Husky Nation. He just isn’t that appealing to me. He’s not young. He runs a gimmicky offense. He has a divisive personality (from what I’ve heard in the media). He’s been compared side-by-side to country singer Vince Gill (but personally, I think he looks like he could be Softy Mahler’s dad). He’s not the sexy choice at this point. I guess we’ll have to wait and see how this plays out.

One thought on “Notes: Mora to UW dead, M’s sign Branyan, Mike Leach in Seattle”

  1. I’m one of those that believe that there is no such thing as a “gimmicky offense” if it’s a winning offense.

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