Mariners Fans Don’t Deserve This – But the Franchise Does

Mariners fans know aggravation.

With every ill-advised decision their favorite baseball team makes, the frustration boils and festers until it can’t simmer any longer. It’s the kind of maddening anger that widens the eyes and quickens the pulse and feels as if it can only be satiated with destruction and rage. Unleash a fury of haymakers upon a punching bag. Smash a Louisville Slugger upon the ground until splinters fly in every direction and sweat drips to the earth. Throw a TV out a window, scream to the heavens, sprint until a lung bursts, whatever it takes to ease the angst. And yet the angst never eases.

The club’s latest maneuver has nearly everyone wondering whether the brass on the corner of Edgar and Dave have any clue what they’re doing. On Sunday, the M’s optioned outfielder Guillermo Heredia to Triple-A Tacoma to make room for the activation of pitcher Erasmo Ramirez. In doing so, they elected to keep outfielder Ichiro Suzuki on the big league roster – despite the fact that Heredia had outplayed Suzuki in every facet of the game to begin the year.

Though any of number of excuses could be conjured to justify keeping the 44-year-old future Hall of Famer around, the reality is that the organization chose to honor a legend rather than invest in the on-field success of the ballclub. Anyone with two eyes and a passion for the game could see right through the front office’s intentions – and that, above all else, was incredibly irritating to a fan base that has suffered long enough.

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The Addicts

They slowly wither away in dark rooms illuminated only by the iridescence of a television set, mainlining ROOT Sports coverage of Seattle Mariners baseball like heroin junkies slumped upon the dusty plywood surface of a neighborhood drug house.

They find comfort in Brad Adam, take solace in Angie Mentink. This is what they know, what they crave, what they need to survive this day and the next. They know they should quit, but how does one loosen the firm grasp of addiction?

They are lifers, these people. They bleed every shade of Mariners blue that can be bled: royal, powder, navy, teal. They’re in it for the long haul, despite the utter misery of the situation in which they find themselves.

For the most part, they are passionless, barely functional, hardly human. Losing is what they’ve come to understand, and each subsequent loss registers no more than a facial twitch or a shrug of the shoulders. Wins, those fleeting moments of abbreviated happiness, result in tempered celebrations that only serve to worsen the dependence upon this poisonous chemical.

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The NBA Wants You to Kiss Its Ass

Fuck the NBA.

Those homewrecking charlatans. Those self-indulgent jerks. Those bastard sons of bitches.

We were in a relationship once, you know. For 41 years. Happily married. We entrusted them with our hearts and our souls. And then one day they ripped them to shreds.

But they didn’t just stop there.

The divorce was bitter. They took everything and left us with nothing but memories. They had all they needed, but still wouldn’t quit. They spun a dirty narrative: that we weren’t any good to them, that we didn’t do enough to keep them around, that it was our fault, that we were the bad guys.

What had we done besides faithfully devote ourselves to them? We showed up en masse, filled an arena to its gills, lived and died through the good seasons and the bad. They weren’t satisfied with leaving, though. They needed the rest of the world to scorn us, too.

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For the 12s: Houston Texans

Joe Jurevicius, a receiver who played for the Seahawks prior to 2012, scores in a 2005 matchup versus the Texans

For the 12s is a recurring installment at Seattle Sportsnet. Every week we’ll preview the Seahawks’ upcoming opponent, with each gameday primer geared towards those individuals who have been fans of the Seattle Seahawks since no earlier than 2012.

Big news in Seattle!

Your Seahawks made a noteworthy move this week, signing veteran defensive end Dwight Freeney to shore up a defensive front that recently lost Cliff Avril to a season-ending injury. While many 12s may recognize him as a journeyman who bounced around the league throughout the duration of their fandom, Freeney was actually really good prior to 2012!

A seven-time Pro Bowler and a member of the NFL’s All-Decade Team in the 2000s, the 37-year-old established his Hall of Fame career as a member of the Indianapolis Colts. Freeney’s wisdom and unquestioned talent should be a welcome addition to a Seahawks defense that will be facing a tough task this Sunday.

The Houston Texans come to town and are certainly no pushover. Though their brief 15-year history makes Houston the youngest franchise in the league, they are coming off two consecutive division championships and are a perennial power in the AFC, which is a conference in the NFL in which the Seahawks used to play.

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For the 12s: New York Giants

Seattle’s Cortez Kennedy tackling New York’s Rodney Hampton in a game prior to 2012

For the 12s is a recurring installment at Seattle Sportsnet. Every week we’ll preview the Seahawks’ upcoming opponent, with each gameday primer geared towards those individuals who have been fans of the Seattle Seahawks since no earlier than 2012.

The only thing giant about New York’s second-best football team right now is the number of losses they’ve accrued in the season’s first six weeks. At 1-5, the lowly G-men somehow managed to escape their winless start to 2017 with a wholly unexpected road victory in Denver a week ago. The thin air, it seems, must have kept Eli Manning’s passes from being intercepted.

Once upon a time, however, the Giants were quite good! They’ve won a pair of championships in the last decade and are the only thing besides Roger Goodell and fully inflated footballs that seem to slow down the New England Patriots.

Interestingly enough, the rise of New York’s Super Bowl contending teams coincided with the evolution of the Seahawks as we know them today.

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For the 12s: Los Angeles Rams

For the 12s is a new installment at Seattle Sportsnet. Every week we’ll preview the Seahawks’ upcoming opponent, with each gameday primer geared towards those individuals who have been fans of the Seattle Seahawks since no earlier than 2012.

The Rams are back! You may have heard this recently and been thoroughly confused. Where did the Rams go? Were they ever really gone? Haven’t the Rams always been terrible? All valid questions.

Over the course of the past five years, the Rams have indeed been quite bad. While the Seahawks have dominated the NFC West and the 49ers and Cardinals have flirted with the postseason, the Rams have been entrenched at the bottom of the standings. Perhaps the only consistency has been their ability to play Seattle tougher than almost any other opponent during this time; which, in and of itself, is quite admirable.

Interestingly enough, the Rams haven’t always struggled! In fact, prior to 2012, the Rams, at times, excelled. Believe it or not, they even won a Super Bowl in the 2000 season behind a high-flying offense dubbed “The Greatest Show on Turf” – a moniker earned due to the team playing its games on AstroTurf, an artificial surface that has since been replaced by Field Turf.

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Hookers, Media Feuds, and the Ego that Binds Them

Long before Mitch Levy allegedly plunked $160 in cash upon a bedside table in anticipation of a good old fashioned happy ending, The Seattle Times had already determined they’d be severing a long-standing association with Levy’s employer, Sports Radio 950 KJR.

The newspaper and the radio station had no real reason to be on the outs were it not for Frank Blethen, the publisher and CEO of Seattle’s paper of record. Blethen, who has been at the Times’ helm since 1985, was done with the relationship for various reasons – chief among those being a certain level of frustration over KJR’s criticism of the Times’ controversial stance on two different Seattle arena proposals, as well as perceived criticism of the paper itself. As a result, Blethen chose to enforce a moratorium on Times writers appearing on both Sports Radio 950 KJR, as well as “competing media” in the local Seattle area. The Times would later clarify its stance, singling out KJR as the sole outlet from which writers were explicitly forbidden, while also adding that some semblance of managerial permission would be required for employees to appear on-air with other local entities. Previously, this lack of autonomy had not existed.

By now we know that the Times cited “off-color” and “sexist” remarks from KJR radio personalities as the reasoning behind their imposed operational changes. However, that language didn’t emerge in an official statement until Thursday, August 31st, which might not mean much if it weren’t for Levy and his fateful blunder nearly a week earlier.

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