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We’ve given up Ryan Divish for Lent, as this week’s KE features Josh, Ashley, and yours truly discussing everything you want to hear about.
We investigate the recent rash of criminal activity at the local college level (Venoy Overton, Klay Thompson, Reggie Moore, Johri Fogerson), talk a little Husky Basketball, issue a public apology for one part of last week’s Dating Game episode, shout out to a Twitter follower, get some grumpiness off our collective chest, and wrap up with the news.
Check it…
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Boom. It’s here. The Dating Game episode. Our Skyping Couple versus our Engaged Couple. Josh Sabrowsky and his fiancee Alex. Ryan Divish (Dickens) and his cyber-maiden Cortney. Who knows more about their partner? Find out in this week’s Karate Emergency!
(And for the record, the questions are tastefully absurd.)
Supplementing our foray into the world of relationships is the usual grumpiness, some Husky Basketball banter, our weekly Twitter shout-out, and the week’s news.
Check it…
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I’ll be honest. We’re only a few episodes away from me needing a Roman numeral chart to properly title these blurbs. Hopefully they have an AltaVista translator for that sorta thing.
“¿Cómo se dice ’27′ en Romano numeros?”
You’re probably wondering why I typed that in Spanish. Or rather, Spanglish. I don’t know. I just figured AltaVista translator would be able to make better sense of it if I did that. I also just typed AltaVista.com into my nav bar to see if their website still exists. It does. But it’s kind of like Adam Morrison’s NBA career. You tend to forget it exists, but when you finally remember, you have a “Holy sh*t!” moment and giggle a little bit.
Read more…
The other day I was on Facebook and discovered Mark Zuckerberg’s latest ejaculation: the “Questions” feature. So I created a poll and asked a question: Who is the best looking member of Karate Emergency?
Obviously, this is a really important question. More important than whatever it is you’re currently doing. So you should probably go vote on it. There’s even a picture of all four members of the show, in case you’ve been wondering why we’ve been relegated to radio when porn would probably be a better venue for our collective sensuality. I’ve reproduced the picture above. From left to right, we have Josh, Ashley, Divish, and this guy.
Read more…
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On this week’s edition of Karate Emergency, our topic of focus is the 2011 Seattle Mariners professional baseball club. As you know by now, staying focused is not our forte.
The usual grumpiness, news, and mayhem ensue. Lots of R&B cuts, a monologue by yours truly, and vulgarity supplement the goodness.
One of the greatest sh*tshows thus far. Check it, yo.
P.S.: Some quotes for you to enjoy:
“Long story short, stop jerking people off.” -Alex
“Journalism would be a great business without the readers.” -Dickens
“You know what, Alex? You should stop getting your dick sucked. You’ll be angrier.” -Josh
“His name is Dennis Haysbert…okay, Cerrano Haysbert…Pedro Haysbert.” -Ashley
Editor’s note: Here’s what you’re missing out on by not listening to Karate Emergency.
On Tuesday’s taping of Episode XV, I will be reading this letter to open the show as my weekly Grumpy Out The Gate (GOTG, to the initiated). You’re getting a sneak preview for two reasons. One, it’s relevant to this very holiday. And two, if you like this, you’ll like our show. So read on and tune in when we post the podcast to this site, as well as 950KJR.com. Check it out.
Dear Fat Women With Bad Attitudes On Valentine’s Day,
We get it. You’re f**kin’ single.
Read more…
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XIV. Right at that age where we really start talking back to you.
This week’s episode features the usual grumpiness, a breakdown of the stuff you really care about from Super Bowl XLV (i.e. not the game), a prediction show, our weekly Twitter shout out, the news, and this week’s Karate Emergency.
We put Ashley’s amazing prognostication skills to the test in a prediction shootout between the female Swami and our own professional insider (he’s a professional inside her, get it…okay, enough of that), Ryan Dickens-Divish. Alex and Josh ask the questions we all need the answers to as Ashley and Dickens forecast the coming year.
Check it, yo.
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Here it is, Karate Kids. This week’s edition of your favorite podcast.
For the second episode in a row, the entire crew — Ryan Divish, Ashley Ryan, Josh Sabrowsky, and yours truly — is present and accounted for.
This week’s topics include the “No Means No” debate, the Huskies’ struggles against the 2-3 zone, the Super Bowl, and of course the Puppy Bowl.
Bookending the show is the usual grumpiness, the news, and this week’s Karate Emergency. Also, be sure to listen for your name in this week’s Twitter shoutout!
Follow us on Twitter: @KarateEmergency, @RyanDivish, @AshleyLolaRyan, @TrafficDivas, and @AlexSSN.
Click here to listen.
*Note: Original link was broken and cut off the podcast three-quarters of the way through. The link has since been updated and is now fully working.
You may be wondering why we’ve entitled this episode XII.5. Well, interestingly enough, Karate Emergency Episode XII was lost in production, a result of the radio station we record from being torn down before our very eyes (seriously). Because it would not be accurate to give this episode the title of XII or XIII, we split the difference and got all weird on you. Enjoy that.
Topics this week include the usual grumpiness, Jay Cutler versus Twitter, Husky Basketball (including the RTR movement) and the Pac-10 Player of the Year race, a good deal of random tangents on random subjects, and the news to close the show. We also drop the second installment of our Twitter follower shout-out, so tune in to see if you happen to be this week’s lucky winner!
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It’s like old times with the entire crew together in studio for the first time in weeks. Josh Sabrowsky, Ashley Ryan, Ryan Dickins Dickens Divish, and yours truly go nuts over the state of Seattle sports.
We go Gloaty Out the Gate (rather than Grumpy), tell the epic tale of Marshawn Lynch’s sack-grabbing touchdown run, envision a Seahawks win over Chicago on Sunday, and more. As always, we close out the show with The News and this week’s Karate Emergency.
Oh yeah, and Ashley talks extensively about her boobs. So there’s that, too.
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You may have noticed that we’ve reached double-digits. We’re up to our tenth episode now. In honor of that, we’ve made the switch to Roman numerals. Why? Because it looks cooler. Michael Jordan did it with his shoes. That seemed to work out okay. We’ll do the same.
This week’s episode features a menage a trois of Josh, Ashley, and yours truly. Ryan Dickins Divish makes an appearance by phone. Topics include the Holiday Bowl (you may have, uh, read about that here…sorry to ruin the surprise), the Seahawks in the playoffs, a heated debate (seriously) about the BCS National Championship game, the best Christmas gift ever, and, of course, the news with Ashley Ryan.
Check it.
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Another special guest in studio as the one and only Matt Holt (pictured at left) joins the program, filling in for Ryan Divish, who has been abducted by aliens.
This week’s show features a new bit that we’ve entitled “Ask An Asian.” It’s pretty self-explanatory. Also pretty hilarious. Check it out.
We also discuss the Seahawks, the Holiday Bowl, get grumpy, and have our usual dose of fun.
KE 9. Almost to double-digits.
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Special Christmas edition of Karate Emergency this week with guest host Andy Bunker in studio. We attempt to reach out to the long lost ghost of Ryan Divish but fail miserably.
We kick off the show with Grumpy Out The Gate, talk a little Holiday Bowl, clown on Alex Akita (that would be me), listen to Andy Bunker’s Christmas song about Matt Hasselbeck, discuss the Hasselbeck/Whitehurst saga, partake in a holiday-themed You Can Only Have One, and cap it all off with the news.
Enjoy.
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Look, I’m just gonna be straight with you. This episode is a complete sh*tshow. In a good way, of course. But still. It’s all over the place. Like Yoshi, when Mario happens to get knocked off his ass. Get back here you cracked-out dinosaur. Carry me to the finish line or else.
We talk about a lot of things. Some basketball, the usual grumpiness, football, news…it’s like the “Potpourri” category on Jeopardy.
On top of all that, we welcome guest hosts Bailey Stenson (from Breakin It Down With Bailey) and Jerry Brewer (columnist for The Seattle Times and proprietor of The Brewery blog) into the studio as Ashley and Divish have gone missing for the week. Enjoy.
Divish says "Ho, ho, ho" from Florida (photo courtesy Geoff Baker)
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Yo. It’s that time of the week again. Your favorite podcast is here and it’s incredible, as always.
We’ve got the usual assortment of goodness. Ryan Divish reports live from baseball’s winter meetings in Florida, the return of the Sonics is discussed, we’ve got our usual grumpiness to get out there, and we introduce a rousing new bit entitled You Can Only Have One (think worst-case scenario, only funnier).
The news and our weekly Karate Emergency close out the show, and amidst it all you’ll notice we have a very special guest co-host.
Check it out!
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