Dawg Pack Dirt: Long Beach State University
Volume 7, Issue 4, November 29, 2010
Special to Seattle Sportsnet
Written by dedicated Dawg Pack members
The Game:
-California State University-Long Beach 49ers (3-3) at #22 University of Washington Huskies (3-2)
In our first installment of Seattle Sportsnet TV, an impromptu dunk contest breaks out between a gang of pseudo-ballers and Olympic high jump hopeful and University of Washington alum Norris Frederick. Cameo appearances by The Amazing Aaron, The Ginger Kid, and The Dude in the Shirt.
Courtesy Boise State Univ.
Read more about Boise State kicker Kyle Brotzman by clicking here.
You can read about how he became my new favorite athlete here.
And finally, you can add Brotzman as a friend on Facebook by clicking here. He’s gonna need a few of those. I imagine he just lost a few friends in and around the Greater Southern Idaho region.
Duggie Dug
Outside of the food and football, Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where you can actually take a step back, put your life into perspective, and consider how fortunate you are.
Let me pause for a second and just say that if I was a REALLY good writer, I could make some wonderfully enormous sweeping generalization about giving thanks that would have people nodding and readers sitting in front of their laptops with tears in their eyes. But I’m not that guy. So I can only speak on behalf of…well, me.
I’m thankful for a lot of things.
I’m thankful for my friends and family, the people who love me, the people I love, and my dog, Dug, who licks my face and jumps on me no matter what.
Too soon? Well we got snowed out, so we took the liberty of compiling some of our greatest moments, hired a narrator (the inimitable Brian Abker), and brought you a “Best Of” show just four episodes into our storied tenure.
If you want the CliffsNotes version of Karate Emergency, here’s your chance to check out the highlight reel.
The dude they're all looking at has dollar bills in his hand and is about to make it rain.
I used to wear husky jeans as a boy, that’s why I’m dubbing this column “Husky Observations.” Oh, it’s also about the Washington Husky basketball team. So there’s that, too.
1. In an era where so many athletes take the money and run (Jerome James, Stephon Marbury, etc.), it’s nice to see a group of players doing everything they can to earn their paychecks. Hats off to the Kentucky Wildcats for the strong effort.
2. Our coaching staff dresses better than their coaching staff.
3. Brandon Knight looks like a clean-cut Lil’ Wayne. He also throws elbows like a 60-year-old at the YMCA.
Every time a Virginia player dribbles left, I fear that Tony Bennett will bench him, then beat him mercilessly after the game.
Also, Blue.
Check this out.
This email was seriously sent to University of Washington students, who continue to be exploited like the late-night value menu at Jack in the Box. This has to stop. They’re better than this!
And for the record, if you value your dignity, never participate in what you’re about to read.
New For The 2010 Basketball Season!
Attn: All Husky Students,
The University of Washington has been selected to start a new chant that may pioneer the way future basketball games are viewed.
What the f**k just happened?!
That was my first thought when I woke up this morning and found out that my fantasy football franchise — better known to all of you as The Compton Honkies — had had undeniable defeat snatched from the waiting jaws of all-but-certain victory while I was sleeping.
I awoke to a text from my arch-nemesis, one Peter Lawrence, who was the esteemed benefactor of my loss. His words shook me from a dream in which I was undoubtedly on the verge of making love to something. It was then that I knew. I f**kin’ knew. Because from the moment I had gone to sleep just a few hours prior, I was afraid something like this might happen. And as soon as I heard my phone give me the text beep, I knew it was over. Only one person texts me that early in the morning. And sadly, that person is the fellow you see to your right.
Saw this headline on ESPN.com:
Grizzlies’ Gay rocks Heat at buzzer
I pictured homosexual pebbles, owned by the Grizzlies, warming up on a timer.
Yep. It’s kind of like that.
So there’s this dude at the gym I go to and he’s freakin’ hilarious. He fits no stereotype whatsoever, which makes his unintentional comedy act that much more impressive.
If you were to take a glance at the dude knowing nothing about his personality, this is what you’d see: a fit, spry Asian man in his forties standing roughly six-feet tall and appearing to be fairly well-put-together. If you saw this man in his element, however, you’d know that he is in fact so much more than this.
The first time I saw the dude, he was playing a game of half court one-on-one against a chubby kid who couldn’t have been more than 12 years old.
Digest that last sentence for a minute…and now let’s continue.
If not, what are you doing here?
If so, please go to Facebook (it’s a little pretentious of me to assume you have a Facebook profile, I know…but come on, it’s Facebook) and join the newest addition to the fan page universe. We have a brand new Seattle Sportsnet fan page and we’d really appreciate it if you went to that page and clicked “Like.” You can also access the page using the fun-looking badge over there to the right (which is that way —-> for those of you who have trouble with left and right).
If there is only one episode of Karate Emergency you listen to, it should be this one. Seriously. This is our finest work by far.
The beginning is a little rough, like your first time having intercourse possibly, but once you get through that it’s awesome and very much appealing.
Topics include the great Dave Niehaus, the career of Jake Locker, the possibility of Husky Football permanently moving home games to Qwest Field, and the usual tangents in between. We kick off the show, as always, with our Grumpy Out The Gate bit. We also debut a new bit, Navigating The Interwebz, which pulls some interesting search terms from Seattle Sportsnet. Check it out!
Word on the street is that the Dawg Pack isn’t up to snuff this year. For those of you who consider yourselves avid Husky Men’s Basketball fans, you may have an opinion on the matter. Regardless of your personal feelings, however, the local message boards are abuzz with talk about “a down year” in the Husky student section.
One current Dawg Pack member took the liberty of emailing me on Tuesday night with a few gripes about his fellow constituents. Here’s the context of his letter. Take note, Husky fans:
Hey,
First of all, let me just say that the number one reason I hate Subway is because of Jared. Yes, Jared.
It’s basically taboo to hate on Jared because he’s a frickin hero, or whatever. Yeah, I get it. He lost a ton of weight. He went from being morbidly obese to being only slightly overweight. And make no mistake about it. This isn’t Superman we’re looking at. Face it. If you didn’t know that Jared had previously been a behemoth, you’d see the guy and figure he was pretty average and could probably afford to hit the gym for a few more hours each week.
We’ve given Jared a pass, America. The man has been plateauing for the last decade. Ten years!!! No, he hasn’t really gained weight. But the reality is this: Subway is paying this human being hundreds of thousands of dollars (if not millions!) to be their spokesperson. And the dude has not changed much at all in the past dime.
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