Keep in mind that by determining the following things to be “overrated,” we aren’t saying that they’re bad in any way. Each of these 40 letdowns is simply unable to live up to the lofty status imposed upon it by society. Thems the breaks.
So without further ado, please sit back, relax, and, like your 2010 Mariners, Believe Big!
40. Farmers markets
Do you really want to hang out with people who don’t shower and pay more for their sh*t than those of us who shop at the grocery store?
39. Facebook chat
This thing was supposed to replace AOL Instant Messenger (AIM, to the initiated) and Gmail Chat (Gchat). Instead, it’s like the Matterhorn at Disneyland: great when it’s fully functional, but rarely in proper working order.
Putting crap in a tortilla doesn’t make it any less crappy than it already was.
37. Rick Reilly
Putting him in front of a camera was a huge mistake. This guy went from being a great writer to being a great big douche.
No matter how many naked pics or vids you end up with, the reality is this: your phone has neither a penis nor a vagina.
35. Independent films
They’re independent for a reason: no one wanted to depend on them to make any money.
That entire continent is in a 250-year rut. At least.
33. Brett Favre
No comment needed.
They serve no practical function, they won’t save your life, they can’t guard anything, and they will pierce your soul with their yapping.
31. Jarvis Varnado
30. The Great White Running Back
It’s not 1950. Toby Gerhart is not going to salvage an entire ethnicity’s recent failure to carry a football while simultaneously running. He’s the next Jacob Hester at worst, Mike Alstott at best. Deal with it.
29. The State of Florida
I’ve been there. It’s like Hawaii. You know, assuming Hawaii was on meth and had experienced a Lindsay Lohan-like fall from grace.
Yeah, I said it. She’s cute and can sing well, but people talk about her like she’s the female Jarvis Varnado. Plus, she thought it might be a good idea to date Taylor Lautner. Speaking of Lautner…
27. Taylor Lautner
Have you seen this guy act? It’s like watching a younger, more depressing Chris Klein half-ass his way through American Pie 2. Someone’s gonna convince this kid he’s a lead actor, at which point his career will experience a Chris Klein-esque downturn.
Sounds like a lot of fun until you get out there and realize that there is no toilet paper and none of your tentmates will be bathing over the course of the next few days.
25. Organic produce
Wait, so you’re telling me I have to pay more for this apple that has had nothing done to it? Nothing at all? While this cheaper apple over here looks prettier and has a nice sheen? Riiight.
24. Playboy magazine
It will show you nothing that you can’t see for free on the internet.
23. Short hair on females
You might be in style, but you look like a smallish man. And your boyfriend is only being nice by telling you it looks good. Sorry for the bad news.
A Fern Gully and Pocahontas goulash that had a weaker-than-expected plot and relied on Owen from Dodgeball to help carry the story line. That said, the visual effects were stunning.
21. XBox 360
It doesn’t play Blu-Ray discs. It does, however, play Betamax LaserDisc HD DVDs.
Creates more problems than it solves. And frankly, we’ve all been kamikazed by “Reply all” on at least one occasion.
19. British accents
Doesn’t make them smarter, hotter, or any more likely to sleep with you.
18. The Real World
So you’re telling me they aren’t competing? For anything? There’s no prize? At all? Really? F*** this, then.
17. Japanese baseball players
There’s really no nice way to spin this. So, um…yep.
Too much work, not enough reward. In their defense, it’s not like anyone was counting on missionaries to provide advice on sexual intercourse, anyways.
Show me one alien and they’ll be aptly-rated and off this list. I’m only asking for one. Shouldn’t be that hard.
Doesn’t taste as good as we’d like to pretend it does. It can also scald you. Consider it a liquid weapon of mass destruction.
13. Paris Hilton
She doesn’t do anything, she hangs out with d-bags, she sports a negative A-cup, and her claim to fame is starring in a sex tape that made her look like a gremlin. Yeah, that’s hot.
They’re all fun and games until they kill you.
11. University of Oregon Football
They’ve done about as much as Paris Hilton. Seriously. Look it up.
10. Jack Johnson
There are homeless guys with guitars all over America who can do what he does. And they aren’t nearly as pretentious about doing it, either.
9. The Great Depression
Not as great or depressing as we’re playing it up to be.
Was there any plot outside of Ross and Rachel? No. No, there was not.
7. The Beatles
Come on. The only defense anyone ever has for Beatles criticism is, “But…they’re The Beatles.” Yeah, and? Even their biggest fans don’t know what’s so special about these Brodie Croyle lookalikes.
6. Ugg boots
Not practical, not cheap, not cute. All you’re telling the world by wearing these is that you might be a high-maintenance beyotch.
5. The iPhone
Remember what I said about sexting? How your phone has neither a penis nor a vagina? That also applies in this situation, as well.
4. Being gay
It needs to be said. Whether you like gay people or not is irrelevant. The fact is, being gay has reached fad status. Which means it’s highly overrated.
You cannot convince me that these are better than a skimpier, sluttier alternative. Cannot.
2. The Toyota Prius
There are literally dozens of hybrid vehicles out there. Why people consider this uppity clown car to be the cream of the crop is beyond me.
1. The Boston Red Sox
They used to be underrated, then they won a couple championships and quickly became a nuisance, ultimately skyrocketing them to No. 1 on this list. And on top of that, Jonathan Papelbon is a real prick.