For some, it’s difficult to pull images of one’s life from fifteen years ago. For me, it’s nothing. Just don’t ask me about fourteen or sixteen years ago. I don’t really remember 1996. And 1994 is a little cloudy. But 1995 stands out like a sore thumb. Without a doubt, it was the best year of my life.
I was 10 years old, going on 11, when the new year hit. I was in fourth grade at the time. By September, I’d be a fifth grader, the top of the food chain at my elementary school. And of course we all know what fifth grade entails: One’s initial exposure to sex ed and drug abuse resistance education (otherwise known as D.A.R.E.). My memories of studying marijuana and developing breasts are fond, yet distant.
Like most 10-year-olds, my interests were fairly limited. Sports, TV, music, candy, baseball cards, video games…these were my vices. More than most kids, however, I was a sports fan.
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Spencer Hawes gets a bad rap.
Some people say he’s a traitor. Others accuse him of costing Joe Wolfinger a shot at the NBA. Others still claim his political views are weak sauce.
Does all that really matter?
Answer: No. Because when you really get down to it, the only mistake Hawes made is sacrificing three years of unlimited college booty for a professional career.
Let’s face facts. Spencer Hawes is a good guy. This is a man who, as a member of the Sacramento Kings, once wore Sonics gear into the Ford Center in Oklahoma City. That takes balls.
This is a dude who appeared at every rally to save the Sonics he was capable of attending. All while being paid by a rival franchise. Impressive.
This a guy who freely sports old school Mariners’ gear, even in parts of the country where teal blue may not be so widely accepted.
Spencer Hawes is the type of native son who still returns to Seattle every offseason, shows his face at local sporting events, and does everything he possibly can to support the Emerald City. Seriously.
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Brian Zoubek (55) defends Butler's Willie Veasley in the national title game.
The Duke men’s basketball team won this year’s NCAA Championship thanks in large part to 7’1″ senior center Brian Zoubek.
Plagued by foot injuries throughout his college career, the 2009-2010 season greeted the 22-year-old New Jersey native with tepid expectations. A defensive-minded reserve entering the season, Zoubek won a starting role by February because of his effort and work ethic on both ends of the court. Zoubek remained a solid contributor for the Blue Devils during their regular-season stretch run, but reached another level of performance once the NCAA Tournament hit. In the Big Dance, it seems, size truly matters.
Perhaps one of the most self-aware players in all of college basketball, Zoubek was renowned for his ability to grab an offensive rebound and immediately turn and face the three-point arc, looking for a more offensive-minded teammate to pass the ball to. Many big men, talented or not, would prefer to grab a board and look to create their own scoring opportunity. Not Zoubek. He did whatever it took to secure a second chance for his teammates. Any points he provided were a bonus for a Blue Devil ballclub that wasn’t relying on their center to score.
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I’ve been told that Aziz N’Diaye once saved a group of kittens from drowning in the free time he had between volunteering at the local soup kitchen and working on a cure for cancer. That might just be hearsay, but I doubt it.
The fact that Aziz N’Diaye is Senegalese royalty who came to America with his friend played by Arsenio Hall is only part of the story that comprises the entirety of the legend that is this 7-foot basketball-playing demigod.
Today, N’Diaye will sign a letter of intent to join the Washington Huskies in the fall of 2010 as the newest member of coach Lorenzo Romar’s program. He will then sign a treaty that guarantees peace in Jerusalem for all eternity.
Aziz N’Diaye once played basketball with former Sonics draft pick Mouhamed Sene. Before Sene was carted off on a stretcher, he had been dunked on 37 times by N’Diaye and kicked in the nuts thrice. Being the gentleman that he is, N’Diaye helped Sene off the ground after all 37 dunks. He never insulted Sene’s mother or talked any trash because that’s not his style. He finished every play with a respectful bow. Sene only cried four times.
N’Diaye used to be a vigilante bounty hunter on weekends. He’s the guy who captured Osama bin Laden and subsequently destroyed the al-Qaeda leader by feeding him to the Sarlacc from Return of the Jedi. You never heard about bin Laden’s destruction because N’Diaye is sworn to secrecy as a member of the CIA. You never heard about the Sarlacc because N’Diaye is the only known human to have both found and tamed the beast. He told his boss that he had simply manhandled bin Laden to death. In truth, the Sarlacc was craving Arabian food.
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When Milton Bradley hit that three-run home run in the bottom of the eighth inning on Tuesday night, I’m pretty sure Doug Fister blew his load all over the Mariners dugout. And who can blame him? Seattle pitchers had been blue-balled for 21 consecutive innings, forced to watch helplessly as their offense failed to score a single run.
And then, in one fell swoop, everything changed. Bradley stepped up to the plate with runners on first and second and proceeded to golf a 2-0 fastball from Oakland A’s reliever Brad Ziegler into the right-field seats. At that moment, a veritable climax was reached.
Immediately, the television cameras panned to the dugout where Fister was toweling off cheering ecstatically for this unprecedented turn of events. The 6’8″ righthander became the team’s first starting pitcher to be credited with a win this year (relievers Mark Lowe and Brandon League were the winners in Seattle’s first two victories).
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One of many half-price M's hats
Ran into my good friend Craig at the Mariners home opener on Monday afternoon, and after the game he emailed me with a few thoughts on some key observances made by a true blue M’s fan. Listen up, Seattle sports fans. This is valuable information.
Point No. 1: The Seat Swap
At the beginning of every game, an announcement is made stating that fans sitting close to the action who feel unsafe due to the potential of balls or bats hitting them can exchange their seats for ones in the upper deck. I’m wondering if anybody has ever done this.
I’m also wondering if there is a list where people with seats like ours today [section 328] can sign up to take the seats of those who leave for safety, in the event that somebody actually does this. It’d be like volunteering to get bumped on an overcrowded flight, except that you get an awesome seat instead of a free flight.
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Manager Don Wakamatsu looks on as the A's defeat the Mariners 4-0 on Monday.
The argument started after my buddy, Chris, made a joke about Milton Bradley’s batting average: “You can’t even make a phone call with your average, Milton.” True, in fact, since Bradley was batting .048 at the time and one would require fifty cents to use a pay phone.
This one-liner came after two other friends, Seth and Paul, had chanted-slash-slurred for Carlos Silva and had started mock-booing Bradley as soon as he walked to home plate.
That’s when the little guy sitting in front of us, slightly inebriated, turned around and said to Chris, “Shut up, man. He’s a Mariner.”
Well, yes. Milton Bradley is a Mariner. But that doesn’t change the fact that he sucks right now.
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No, not really.
The whole “Goes To Japan” thing is a nod to movie sequels from the ’70s and ’80s. Such as The Bad News Bears Go To Japan. It could have read “Seattle Sportsnet In Breaking Training” but not as many would get that, I’d imagine.
Anyways, I’ve had a busy weekend, hence the lack of updates on the site here. But what was there to talk about really? The M’s split a pair of games, Phil Mickelson won at Augusta. That’s about it.
Me, on the other hand, I had tons of stuff to do. Ran a race, visited a farm in Burlington, watched a mother sheep poop on her baby sheep’s head (apparently it happens a lot), lost one game night, dominated another game night, hung out at Greenlake, celebrated my dog’s first birthday, drank a bunch in celebration of the birthday, got into a “violent situation” with the parking Nazis of the homeowner’s association with a few other people, had the police called as a result, talked to the county sheriff (he was not amused…with the parking Nazi who decided to call the police, that is), and almost managed to squeeze in a nap. It was a good weekend.
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As someone who generally tries to avoid panicky situations, I find it very amusing that all the people who were on the Mariners’ bandwagon not five days ago are now jumping off like Eddie Griffin is behind the wheel. (Eddie Griffin, the deceased former NBA player who was once pulled over and caught masturbating to porn on his built-in DVD player while also intoxicated. Not Eddie Griffin the comedian. Though talk about your worst case of mistaken identity ever if you’re the other Eddie Griffin.)
Observe this exchange of comments from the Facebook page of 710 ESPN radio hosts Brock Huard and Mike Salk (and just note that all these comments were delivered in the midst of Friday night’s game against the Rangers):
Brock And-Salk: Not hitting against underrated A’s in huge Oakland park is one thing, it’s another in Texas against a guy just back from japan!
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The Mariners are 1-2. I’m not concerned.
We’re three games into the season and so far we’ve been done in by the most awesome non-Mariner in baseball, Kurt Suzuki. Ever since Suzuki was at Cal-State Fullerton, it was clear to me that he was the man. He’s the last person in the lower 48 still wearing puka shells, so you know he’s got some testicular fortitude. And he certainly isn’t worried about what other people think of him. You have to appreciate that. He’s straight renegade.
Anyways, we’re letting Suzuki beat us right now which is akin to saying we’re letting Chuck Norris kick our ass. It can’t be helped. But in case you’re a little nervous, not to worry. The M’s are deploying the ultimate stopper this afternoon in Doug “Enter The” Fister.
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Rob Sims hates you.
Seriously.
Assuming you live in Seattle, that is.
The ex-Seahawks offensive lineman was introduced as the newest member of the Detroit Lions today, and he had some choice words for his former city:
“This (Detroit) is a football town. Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Detroit. I mean, that’s football. Football and cars. This is more of what I’m accustomed to. Out there (in Seattle) the stars are Bill Gates and Paul Allen and the people that run Boeing. This here is what being in the NFL is supposed to be about, (standing) up here at the mic talking to reporters and stuff. In Seattle, it’s not like that. It’s drinking coffee, sittin’ down and chit-chatting. This is a change, but it’s a change that I’ve been looking forward to.”
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I was scrolling through game photos from last night and found this one. Apparently, Chunk from The Goonies is an A's fan.
One game into the season, the Seattle Mariners are on pace for a record-breaking 162-0 2010 campaign. Their win total will shatter the existing regular season mark by a remarkable 46 victories. They will not lose a game.
After scoring an American League low 640 runs a year ago, the M’s are now on pace for a much more respectable 810 runs in this young season. That number would have put them fifth in the AL in 2009.
The pitching and defense, the hallmark of this ballclub, will relinquish just 486 runs on their current pace. That number would far and away be the best in the majors. They will also turn an improbable 648 double plays, accounting for 1,296 outs on the year, or 30% of the total outs made in a 162-game season.
Catcher Rob Johnson is on pace for a record 162 home runs.
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Saw this picture on ESPN.com. Figured it was worth asking. If you know the answer, feel free to share.
Anyways, happy Opening Day, everyone. Enjoy a day full of baseball.
And for the record, the A’s are going down. Go M’s!
In the past year, we’ve created various fantasy sports leagues for worthy readers to partake in. This time around, we decided to take our affinity for made-up athletics to the next level.
In an effort to give Seattle sports fans something interesting to read about, we tapped our social network and came up with 11 participants to join us in the ultimate Seattle Sports Media All-Star Fantasy Baseball League. A standard 12-team operation hosted by ESPN.com, our head-to-head league features a dozen members of the local sports media ranks to compete for the title of fantasy champion.
To help you get to know our league a little better (which you’ll be hearing about frequently over the next six months), here is an in-depth profile on all 12 teams and their respective owners:
Lake City Division
Team #1
Name: The Half-Asian Mafia
Owner: Ryan Divish
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For some, it’s difficult to pull images of one’s life from fifteen years ago. For me, it’s nothing. Just don’t ask me about fourteen or sixteen years ago. I don’t really remember 1996. And 1994 is a little cloudy. But 1995 stands out like a sore thumb. Without a doubt, it was the best year of my life.
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