Duck Bastards Spiraling Out Of Control

Apparently, losing the Rose Bowl sends your team into complete disarray.

The Oregon Duck football program continued its Lindsay Lohan-like fall with news breaking today that walk-on defensive end Matt Simms has been charged with assault on a man he thought was responsible for assaulting teammate Rob Beard. Beard, a kicker, was sent to the ICU last week when he was beaten unconscious during a campus brawl.

The 6’3″, 207-pound Simms encountered his alleged victim at a party last Saturday night. The alleged victim claims he told Simms he had nothing to do with Beard’s beating, but that didn’t stop Simms from issuing a beatdown of his own.

Police reports state that in spite of the alleged victim’s explanation, Simms punched his target, knocked him to the ground, and continued punching him on the ground. Simms was then taken into custody and charged with misdemeanor assault.

Of course, this isn’t the only noteworthy criminal act by Duck football players in the past month.

You may have also heard about LaptopGate, an investigation into possible theft by quarterback Jeremiah Masoli and receiver Garrett Embry.

The duo were linked to a pair of stolen MacBooks taken from a University of Oregon fraternity house, a rumor that has yet to gain any steam. Police have not named either Masoli nor Embry as suspects in the ongoing investigation. Evidence failed to mount against the pair when it was rumored that one burglar successfully caught the laptops thrown by the other burglar without any drops involved.

We’ll continue to follow these stories as they develop, and you can ensure that we’ll enjoy bringing you the news of Oregon’s demise as it breaks.

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