Epic Fail: The 2009 Seattle Seahawks

Let’s be honest. The Seahawks suck. They’re awful. They’re so bad that I don’t even watch them anymore. Part of that is due to a vacation which allowed me to miss three of their ballgames, but I doubt I would have subjected myself to their failure even if I’d been in town.

There are some diehards out there who can’t believe a true fan would turn apathetic on a team, but come on. Forcing the ’09 Hawks down someone’s throat is like taping their eyelids open and sitting them in front of an endless screening of Vanilla Sky. It’s just not right.

The fact is some teams are just plain bad, and this year’s Seahawks are the perfect example of that.

Fans want to kid themselves and pretend that this would be a Superbowl ballclub if just one thing improved. If so-and-so was healthy, or if Player X could just pick it up a little bit. You’ve heard it on sports radio, read it in the paper, seen it on TV. Laymen and media magnates alike vent about this team, make excuses for this team, get excited about this team, get upset over this team. They’re great on paper, or they show flashes of brilliance, or they play a weak opponent. There are reasons to maintain an interest in the ’09 Seahawks, but on gameday they flat-out don’t come to play. And it’s boring.

The reality is this team is part of the divine, star-crossed fascimilitude (I just used a word that only has four results on Google search, but makes absolute sense) of suckdom, and needs no further introduction. There are so many parts in this machine that aren’t working that it just isn’t fair to place blame on one useless cog that suffers from performance anxiety. This team has failed, from top to bottom, and every player, coach, and front office member should go down with the ship as one. Well, except Tim Ruskell, but thankfully he’s already walked the plank.

We could talk numbers, stats, recent game results, but why twist the knife? Everyone knows how bad this squad has been throughout the season, and especially as of late. They have work to do in the offseason, and it starts with the hunt for a general manager.

From there, the club needs to seriously address both sides of the line, offensive and defensive. Improve through the draft, then examine under-the-radar free agent additions, or possible trade targets. Whatever it takes to upgrade the line is key.

Acknowledge the running game. Is Justin Forsett the answer? Is Julius Jones done? Does it make sense to spend a high draft pick on a tailback? These are all questions that need to be answered as this team transitions into the future. And please, for the love of God, stop feeding us washed-up veteran backs and telling us they have a chance to be difference-makers in the offense. We already endured a patchwork veteran overhaul with the Mariners earlier in the decade, and we can’t stomach that grossness again.

What about the receiver position? Deion Branch is becoming an expensive liability, Nate Burleson has a voidable 2010 season before becoming an unrestricted free agent in 2011, and TJ Houshmandzadeh has to play like the same guy who suited up in Cincinnati. Also, where does Deon Butler fit in? And can the depth be improved?

In the defensive secondary, changes need to be made to improve upon the pass coverage. The safety position is of the utmost concern, with Jordan Babineaux proving he’s little more than a solid backup, but the cornerbacks (namely an improving Josh Wilson and an underwhelming Kelly Jennings) have to be addressed as well.

And then there’s the quarterback position, otherwise known as the gigantic neon pink elephant in the room.

Everyone likes to forgive Matt Hasselbeck for his transgressions, citing the inefficiencies of the entire offense as the result of Hasselbeck’s mistakes, but is it really all everyone else’s fault? Is Hasselbeck worthy of this big a get-out-of-jail-free card? He’s not Brett Favre. Not Tom Brady. Not Peyton Manning. He’s a second-tier starting quarterback that is on the downslope of his career, and a nod towards the future of this organization must be made at some point. Will the team draft a quarterback to study under Hasselbeck? Will they supplant No. 8 immediately? Or will they continue to let him be the man under center?

And what about Hasselbeck’s backup? Seneca Wallace is just that, a backup. He’s not a guy who will contend for a starting gig, nor is he a young gunslinger to build around. He’s a second-string talent that has no bigger future with this or any other NFL franchise. Should the team hand his roster spot to someone with a more prominent role in the gameplan, or is this Seneca’s spot to keep for as long as he likes?

So many questions and so few answers. With one meaningless game left in this miserable season, the turnaround begins this week. Jim Mora and the Seahawks’ coaching staff have a chance to showcase their young talent for next year and start to move away from the epic fail that has been 2009.

5 responses

  1. I am a still watching but the passion is gone for me. It has been replaced by numbness. I have to admit that I have started to look to the draft as the “next Big Game.” The idea of rebuilding now sits pretty well with me because we would have hope again. Right now only George W. Bush would see any success in this team. “You are doin’ a heckuva job, Jimmy!”

    First move is get a young, hungry GM and give him the power to hire and fire ANYBODY in the organization. We need somebody who is going to bring a winning vision/plan and start building it now and do it dispassionatly. No loyalty to “our guys” and no NFC 2005 Championship get out of jail free cards. To me, the play and coaching of this team this year has burned every loyalty bridge. I would say to the entire organization “if you don’t give a shit, why should we?”

    Also, I am so tired of people in the media saying “no one wants to win more than Jim Mora” Really? I guess he really wants to win except when they are playing a game. Welcome to the real world, Jimmy, where only results count. And where did this “you cannot fire a first year coach” rule come from? If I showed up on the first day of work not wearing any pants they would show me the door in the first hour and what Mora has done is worse then showing up with no pants. He coaches like he hates this team.

    Any way…to the whole organization I say welcome to the offseason otherwise known as Thunderdome.

  2. All I look forward to anymore is what is the next position that Mora will call out and chastise in front of the media. It’s almost become a joke. Obviously that way of doing things doesn’t work Mora so you better find another way to get your team to play like professional football players.

  3. kone-kat hahaha!

  4. He should take notes from Sark after a loss. Sark blames himself and no one else. Wow. Weird!

  5. Whatever happened to home team loyalty?

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