It’s Okay, Dawg Fans: The Ducks Are Going To Hell Anyways
Look, I’m not gonna lie to you guys. I missed the game on Saturday. Didn’t go. First game I’ve missed all year.
I had a wedding to attend and in hindsight I’m glad I went to the wedding and not the massacre on Montlake. I’d much rather be in the presence of true love than that of pure evil, which is exactly what the Oregon Ducks are.
I was able to watch most of the first half on TV before leaving for the wedding. It wasn’t bad. The Huskies played okay and the Ducks only scored on one offensive possession. A pretty good showing.
But when all was said and done, we had lost by a hefty margin. So obviously we sucked in the second half. I don’t know exactly how it all went down, and frankly I don’t care to know. We lost, that’s all that matters.
What we need to remember in losing is that we can’t give the Ducks any credit for the win. I know, that sounds bad, but it’s true.
You don’t want to give those Duck bastards any credit for a win because we all know they are cheaters who long ago sold out to the devil in exchange for victories. Every win they record is a shot to the groin for those of us who play by the rules, and even those of us who don’t. Don’t ask me how I know this, but it’s true.
Any other team I could respect in defeat. Even the Cougars, who, as I’ve stated before, I barely have disdain for.
But the Ducks are different. They don’t deserve any respect whether they win, lose, or otherwise. Their fans are amoebic in their evolution, and few register beyond a cro-magnon level on any type of intelligence chart. They don’t deserve our respect because they do absolutely nothing to earn it.
So if you find yourself relinquishing credit to the Quacks after the Huskies succumbed to them on Saturday, don’t. Do not. For the sake of all that is good in the world, never speak highly of those Duckies. Direct your praise at anyone or anything else. But not them. There’s a special place in hell for Ducks, Duck fans, Duck boosters, and Duck worshipers. You need not associate yourself with the hellbound.
That is all. Enjoy your Monday. Go Dawgs!
YEAH! They are all a pile of quackers!
I love it! oregon duck fans, players, boosters all hellbound! sounds great. hope to open the sports page and see your name one of these days. good job.
I just want to know why exactly you’re so hateful. I want to respect your website and your writing, but this pure hatred toward Oregon seems immature and it’s baffling. I can’t respect any piece of journalism that first of all uses the word “bastards” when it’s not even quoting someone, and when you refuse to give Oregon any credit for their win without even having watched the whole game.
It really just makes me sad.
The term “Duck bastards” has been used to describe the University of Oregon for years. It’s nothing new.
As for the hatred towards Oregon, there are a million and one reasons I could list off as to why the Ducks inspire such loathing, but it’s not worth the time or effort. There was a great thread on the Dawgman message boards where Husky fans listed off their worst memories of Oregon fans. From having their children physically assaulted by white trash Ducks, to being verbally lambasted in front of their families, to everything in between. The culture at Oregon is entirely tolerant of this type of behavior and it’s unfortunate for the Duck fans who don’t exhibit such outward anger towards others. Every school has idiot fans, Oregon just seems to have so many more than everyone else.
Go DUCKS!! you lit up our bridge and we lit up your scoreboard. fair deal I’d say!
Funny website! Just one question – why so much attention to the University of Oregon if you like Washington? I would think Washington State would be the bigger rival. Here in Michigan only the most diehard Wolverine fans care much about what Ohio State does and even then the rivalry is really only in football. In all other sports Michigan State is the real enemy.