Seattle Sportsnet

Slaton couldn't even rush for his jersey number in Week One

Week one of the NFL season is less than 24 hours from being in the books, which means it’s time to talk fantasy football. Because if there’s one thing I know and want to talk about, it’s what I like to call The Three F’s: Fantasy F*cking Football.

You’re probably wondering why you should trust anything I have to say about fantasy when there are guys out there like Matthew Berry (nerd alert) and Brandon Funston (he works for Yahoo, which is the Detroit Lions of sports info websites) who make a living out of talking about fake football. The difference between guys like that and guys like me is that I can tell you the truth, while they have to worry about the repercussions of pissing off real-life football players who might eat their children if anything bad about said player is published.

Me, I’ve got two legs to stand on and eight fantasy teams, plus one survivor pool, and one Pac-10 league to worry about. If Steve Slaton is upset with me because I need his ass to put up numbers, then so be it. Bring it, Steve.

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Here’s what you may have missed if you spent the past weekend under a rock, in Afghanistan, or just generally being ignorant to the world around you.

Saturday

Perhaps the only weekend of the season where all three major in-state football teams — the Huskies, Cougars, and Seahawks — had a legitimate shot at winning games. Well, at least we thought it was a legitimate shot. We were wrong about one team.

The Huskies began the day, smoke machine and all, by treating the Idaho Vandals the way any WAC team should be treated.

From kickoff, the game belonged to Washington. Scratch that, it actually belonged to the referees, who went all Ike Turner on the Vandals. Idaho racked up penalties on seemingly every first quarter play. Maybe it was Washington’s talent overwhelming them, or maybe they’re just notorious cheaters. Either way, I can’t say I’ve ever seen more than one first-and-30 situation for the same team in any given game until Saturday. Thank you, Idaho.

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