Nothing Says “I Love You” Like A Picture Of Sean Salisbury’s Penis

56685883CA008_Super_Bowl_XLOnce upon a time, Sean Salisbury got in trouble at ESPN for (allegedly) taking pictures of his penis and texting (or “sexting,” as the kids say) them to female coworkers. Oops.

Apparently, Salisbury — who has since been let go by the sports media giant — didn’t get the message the first time around: SEAN, IT IS NOT OKAY TO TAKE PICTURES OF YOUR PENIS AND SEND THEM TO WOMEN FROM YOUR CELL PHONE. NOT OKAY!

As of Friday, the former NFL quarterback has been terminated from his job at a Dallas radio station for (allegedly) doing the exact same thing he did at ESPN. Oops again.

Two things to take away from this.

One, you have to figure that there was a point in time when Salisbury’s penis pictures managed to woo a dame or two. I mean, why else would he keep doing it, right? There has to be some sort of reward for the risk.

Two, what is it about Sean Salisbury that women simply aren’t getting?

Ladies, don’t you know what love is?

Love is waking up at 3:30 in the morning to a picture of a guy’s dick on your Blackberry. It’s knowing that somebody cares for you so much that he is willing to show you a self-taken snapshot of his most private parts. That’s what real love is.

If you can’t accept Sean’s love, then maybe you just don’t understand. Sean sent you this beautiful gift and not only did you reject it but you went to the police with it. Shame on you for being so insensitive.

The good news for Sean is that even if these pictures get leaked to the press, his most embarrassing moment is already in the past. For more on that, go down to your local Blockbuster and rent the 2006 Rob Schneider film The Benchwarmers. You’ll see what I mean.

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