Man or woman? Yes.
By now, you may have heard about female track superstar Caster Semenya. Semenya, for those who don’t recall, is the South African middle-distance runner that produced an earth-shattering, record-breaking time in the women’s 800m relay in August.
Semenya, who had her gender questioned openly by officials, underwent tests to determine whether she was, in fact, a woman. The results of those tests were not expected to be released until November, which led many pundits to question how hard it is to tell the difference between a penis and a vagina.
But soft! Just weeks since Semenya’s inspection, word has leaked out that the muscle-bound freak of nature is actually a hermaphrodite, better known to you and me as a he-she.
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Ernie attempts to calm a riot incited by the chanting of his nickname, Ernesto.
Woke up this morning remembering every detail of my dream in complete clarity. To call this the greatest dream ever is an understatement. At the very least, we need to refer to it with unnecessary capitalization of letters (EVER!).
So here’s the premise.
I’m stuck in Eugene, Oregon for whatever awful reason and find my way into a basketball arena where I’m quickly trapped along with about 20,000 or so other people.
Unbeknownst to everyone else (but beknownst to me, even though beknownst isn’t a word) we are here to be killed. Killed by none other than University of Oregon basketball coach/diabolical genius bent on world domination Ernie Kent.
Using Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford as a robot weapon of mass destruction, Kent has plotted to have us all murdered for his pure enjoyment (his motive is not made entirely clear to me, though at this point in my dream I’m in that “act first, ask question later” mode).
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