Seattle Sportsnet

This press release was issued by the Everett Aquasox today. Don’t laugh. They’re not trying to be funny. And they don’t appreciate you mocking them.

In its full context:

Carlos Silva Set to Appear for AquaSox

The right-hander last pitched in the Majors on May 6

EVERETT, Wash.- Seattle Mariners right-hander Carlos Silva will make a rehab appearance for the Everett AquaSox against the Vancouver Canadians Tuesday night.

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Adrian Beltre has been activated from the 15-day disabled list, meaning his lacerated bleeding testicles are fully healed. The emotional scarring may never disappear, however.

Beltre, who was injured when a wayward ground ball collided with his groin, had been practicing in recent days…without a protective cup. Guess it’s tough to change your ways.

Also returning to the lineup this evening is right fielder Ichiro Suzuki. The M’s leadoff hitter has been nursing a tight calf and hasn’t played in nine days.

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